I want my confident toddler back

[PinkyMe]

My hubby was in a bad road accident recently which left him with broken bones. While he was on the mend he had some complications and ended up back in hospital. My In laws moved in with us while this was all going on to help as things were a bit touch and go for a while.
As a result my almost 2 year old has been through a lot of change. She's been looked after by Grandma for about a month. While Grandma would have her, I visited Daddy and I also had to increase her hrs at nursery. Some nights I only got home in time to tuck her in.
He's home now and things are slowly returning to normal except we've noticed that she has changed from her usual friendly and confident self to being whingy and acting very terrified of strange men.
She clings to me almost with a death grip. This is very much the opposite of her usual character and has even got the nursery staff commenting on it. Apparently she was the same with them when they had a window cleaner come in.
What should I do? I'm really not used to this behaviour and am worried that my current act of cuddling and trying to reassure her will only make it worse. Should I just ignore it?

Hi Pinkyme, i'm sorry I don't have much advice to give only that my thoughts are that maybe your FIL told her off, shouted at her which has made her scared of men that aren't her father?

My DD is 2.5 and she has become very clingy lately which I have asked friends with same age daughters about and they are also going through the clingy and terrible two stage, but not terrified of anyone.

Is she communicating well enought for you to ask her? possibly not at 2. Has she acted like that any more when you've seen your inlaws and have you asked them if anything might have upset her? Tricky I know, sorry I can't be of any more help.

Pinkyme, I don't think this will answer your problem fully, but my dd did start to become a lot shyer around the 2.5 age. I thnk there is an element of children becoming aware of strangers, being noticed, speaking to adults rather than just running round a room oblivious, especially if they are engaging in conversations more etc, and this naturally leads to them developing worries, fears etc, but possibly a normal phase or transition from baby toddler to toddler child has been exacerbated by the amount of change recently at home.. ie a normal growing awareness of strangers coupled with daddy not being at home and mummy nt there for a while too is just manifesting itself temporarily?

Circumstances at teh moment probably mean you are going to need to give your dd lots of reassurance buit maybe in way that means she is still facing her fears but having the security of you, eg you holding her hand, crouched down talking to her and both waving to the window cleaner sort of thing?

Sorry that won't be of much help!

Thanks for your replies

Herecomesthesun
Grandad has told her off a few times, but when I've seen him do it, it's never seemed that bad. Also although she did sometimes shy away from them both, she has asked for them often since they both left.
I did worry that the GPs were a bit overwhelming for her as they never seemed to let up. Very intense attention, all the time. And I feel a lot of the whinging is down to this, as she only had to whimper for Grandma to start fussing.

Yousaidit
Did your dd grow out of it?

Hi PinkyMe

She more or less has grown out of it, but she has got a quiter shyer personality that is coming through.. not with all strangers just those she can't seem to warm to.

And noting your comment to Herecomes... yes, full on attention from well meaning gp's can have a bit of an effect og=n behaviour.. my dd could play up at bit after one day of babysitting, so in your circumstances, attention wise your dd as been booted out of the ritz and put in a tent when gp's have 'left'!!

Hello again Pinky, thinking about it more, my DD who has always been outgoing, smiles at everyone, can just chatter to anyone will suddenly hide behind my legs for no apparent reason or even decide not to speak to a grandparent if she's feeling shy. All very out of character but like I said she is suddenly clingy as are a few of her friends. I think it is probably age related but I think because of the stressful horrendous time you have been through you are probably feeling guilty for leaving her with GPs and upping her nursery and blaming yourself. I think that if none of those things had happened she would probably be the same.

Terrible twos I think. x