Only child experiences

[goingon40]

Just wondered if anyone had experience of this - either you grew up as an only child or you have one.
We are deciding whether to have a second and are unsure. Just thinking about it all now and can go either way which isnt helpful. But the thought of my lo not having a brother or sister makes me sad. She will be 3 next year, not sure if then is a good time or year after....

Hi there, there is a board on here for one child families .

After much soul searching, we have decided that my DD will be an only. We had a traumatic pregnancy and birth, and my daughter spent some time in the Neonatal unit. Neither myself nor my husband feel in a position to risk going through all that again - I don't think we are "healed" from our experience and in all honesty I'm not sure if we ever will.

That said, my DD will be 3 in September and she is the light of our lives. We take time to ensure her life is filled with fun and laughter, and I gave up my career to be a SAHM. She is confident, articulate and not in the least bit affected (at this stage anyway) by not having siblings. If I'm truly honest, I would say she's quite clingy to us compared to other children with siblings, however that will pass once she's older and at school.

I too feel sad sometimes at the thought of her not having a sibling. BUT - I was 6, nearly 7 when my sister arrived and to be honest it was like we were both only children as the gap was so large we had nothing in common. It didn't affect either of us negatively.

Just take your time and think about it. What makes you unsure?

Thanks, I will take a look.
I had a traumatic birth and then my lo has been very hard, had reflux so screamed for months on end. I love her so much but find my loss of independance harder than i thought. My husband and my relationship has been strained since although now getting better. It has all been quite stressful i am orried about rocking the boat when we are happy as we are....

I should say, but i do think i want another child. Im just not sure at the impact it will make on our lives and whether it will be the right thing.

We too were worried about rocking the boat. However, after much soul searching, we decided that we would rather be a healthy, happy family of 3 than risk the heartache we went through to just get DD here safe and well. She was also a tough baby, with reflux and colic......and like you, I felt like my independance and my "point" was gone when I became a SAHM.

Now though, with my DD away to turn 3, I am confident in the decision we made. Don't get me wrong, I still have moments where I would like another baby and I sometimes get teary when another friend announces that they're pregnant....but both DD and I nearly died after her birth and I can't risk that again when she needs me.....

Its ok to have a wobble - maybe now just isn't the time to be making this decision? We decided about 6 months ago that we were going to stick as we are, and its been tough, don't get me wrong. I still can't bear to part with her baby stuff "just in case"!!!!

I hope you can come to a conclusion that you are happy with, and enjoy life however it turns out! Sometimes, another child just isn't the right answer for everyone