WWYhave done?

[LaDiDaDi]

I often sometimes struggle with dd (4.3) and I just wonder how anyone else would have dealt with the type of thing that causes me annoyance as well as how normal her behaviour seems.

Early this afternoon I was upstairs with her and baby ds in her bedroom. It needed a bit of a tidy and then we needed to get our swimming things sorted out. She had loads of books on the floor and spilling out of her bookcase so I suggested that we tidy it up; she picked up a few books from the floor for me without further asking and then I sorted out the bookcase so that the books were grouped together and, more importantly, not falling out everywhere.
Once I said "look, it's tidy now" she got extremely cross and agitated shouting "I liked it messy, I want it messy" and then wanting to pull all of the books out of the bookcase. I explained that now she could choose her books more easily and I could see that there was more room in the bookcase than I'd thought so I'd know that she had room for more books etc etc but she was still realy furious and agitated and wanted to yank all of the books out. Then I tried to explain that Mummy had tidied it up for her and it wasn't nice to pull the books out now etc etc but to no avail.

What would you all have done at this point please?

I would have walked off muttering that she was being ridiculous.

Left them on the floor until tomorrow and then tidied them up when she wasn't looking.

I'd be presuming it was a control thing, and she didn't want you sorting out her room.

Hmm,

If she'd not seen me, and even assisted me in tidying, I'd have thought the same but I couldn't understand it because she'd watched me do it. I got cross because she'd seen me bloody do it! Grrr.

Any way tonight when she went into her bedroom to get her pj's on (I was still tidying in bathroom/sorting ds) I heard her going to the bookcase and starting to pull the books out again. I told her that I'd not be reading any bedtime stories unless she stopped and she did (though I couldn't be bothered to argue about the ones that were left on the floor).

i would have told her that if she wants nice things in her room she needs to look after them. that we treat books nicely, and leaving them on the floor will mean they get broken

if she doesn't want to keep them nice, then they can go to someone who will look after them

I think you handled it really, really well & you stayed calm.

My eldest DD (2.8yo) has a tendency to have little arguments with DH and I like this over toys/books/shoes ect.
I personally would have probably handled it all wrong by telling DD that they are staying that way weather she liked it or not and if she pulled the books of the shelves then I would take them off her altogether. But then I don't cope with that kind of behavior very well

Aha, insert but you see I did then go off it!

This is my massive problem, I try really hard to dstay calm an explain etc and then get really annoyed in the end when it all fails .

Awwww it is pants isn't it. DC have this knack of making you go a bit arrrrgggghhhh!

DH and I play good cop bad cop by default with DD1 One of us will be ubber calm (while muttering swear words under our breath) while the other one kinda goes a bit arrrggghhhhh.

Ladidadi

Has littlemad come to stay with you this week then? I thought he was at his Dad's....

Seriously you've just described pretty much every conversation I have had with littlemad (4.3) over the last couple of months, whatever I say/suggest/beseech/demand etc, he tells me the exact opposite.

It drives me INSANE

BUT

It does seem to be a development thing with him and I know that one night the personality pixie will just turn up while he's asleep and he'll settle again.

Don't sit there reasoning with her, just walk away from it, pick your battles.

Good luck

I have a 4.3yo and this is exactly the sort of thing she would do. She just wants everything to stay the same, and reacts crossy to change, particularly when it is imposed on her and when it is regarding her personal space and stuff.