Tell me about "larger" age gaps....

[takingtheplunge]

Large in inverted commas as these days everyone seems to think you're a freak if you have more than 2 years btw children and goes on about the "terrible jealousy" etc etc with a bigger gap.

Was hesitantly sort of ttc but a couple of things have happened work wise/financially/etc etc that means it would better to hold off for a few more months. Also realised the idea of being pg (HG in 1st pg) right this minute scares the crap out of me. DS goes to preschool from Sept so anything after about sep/oct I suppose for sort of vaguely ttcing again.

This means more like a 3 and a half to 4 year gap between DS and any DC2.
What are all the wonderful things about a 3, 4 or even more age gap?

I have four years two months between mine (not planned - had a molar pregnancy in between and had to wait for medical approval to TTC) and wouldn't necessarily recommend it. DS now 11 and DD 7.

It was certainly easier when they were little, as he was four when she was born and was already toilet-trained, out of buggy, going to kindergarten etc. He wasn't too jealous to start with, but as soon as she started crawling and being able to reach his toys, the sibling in-fighting started, and is still going very strong now.

I think DS had too long as the only one, and didn't appreciate having to share the attention. I think a really short age gap or a much longer one might work better - I know families with 6/8/10 year age gaps, and when the older ones are that much older, they seem to feel more securely superior and can be nice to the little ones..... Or maybe it's just my two like that. There is also the problem of finding things they both enjoy doing, which can be particularly hard with, for example, an eight-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl.

I have 5 yrs 2 months between DDs 1 and 2.

It was perfect for us; DD1 started school whilst I was pregnant so I had a few hours here and there to relax/sleep/go to aquanatal before picking her up from school (I worked 2.5 days a week).

And then when DD2 arrived DD1 was so much easier in that she was old enough to understand if I couldn't do something for her immediately because I was feeding or whatever. She could take herself to the loo, get her own drink etc.

DD1 and DD2 adore each other and never wound each other up, unlike DD2 and DD3 who only have 2 years 7 months between them!

I have 6.5 years between my 2. I wasn't prepared for ds1 to idolise ds2 quite as much as he does, they get on brilliantly. I think their personalities helps, ds1 is laid back while 2(16months) is big, strong and wants to get stuck in, they already have fun together and gang up on me! I wouldn't have chosen a big gap but dont regret it as i have time for both of them and have been able to enjoy my second baby.

Nancy I meant 2 years between birthdays i.e a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old. Seems to be very much the norm among people I know with kids...and to me seems a short time between children, but then I had HG with DS so it would have been a 14 mo ish plus me with HG then a 2 yr old and a newborn IYSWIM....I don't think I could have coped.

I'm veeery interested in people's experiences of a 3 and a half to 4 yr gap, as that's what we'll probably end up with.

Finding everyone's posts very interesting...keep em coming please!

louii DS1 has a special song for DS2 as well, it is great if I am doing something and DS2 is getting antsy.

Love the special shout thing, DS2 looks around until he sees him in the mornings.

DS2 asleep on my lap atm, with DS1 snuggled up to my side watching telly and absently stroking baby's head.

I think I might try to sneak in one more baby but want to wait until DS2 is at least 5, which means my clock is ticking (I am 33 now), but wouldn't want them any closer.

I dont have a large age gap between my 2. (3 years) but have to agree with Morloth and louii on the hero worship thing, my DD is 7 months old and the way she looks at her brother is hilarious. He face completely lights up when he walks in a room. She will only laugh outright for him aswell, you can try till you are blue in the face but all you get is the odd titter from her.

There is 10 years between my eldest sister and me. Growing up was stressful because we both have such strong stubborn personalities but she moved out when I was very young to go Uni. It was good when I was a teenager because I could talk to her about things I found embarrassing to talk to my parents about. We are the best friends now.