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Parenting

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Original poster

I feel like I am failing my son!

19 replies

Norash · 22/08/2005 14:31

Ok guys, how many of you have sent there babies to nursery as infants?

I feel like I am failing my little boy because I have to send him to nursery in October at 6 months. I say I have to because his Father works full time and I am going to my final year of University.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

moondog · 22/08/2005 14:32

Norash,don't worry about it!

If you are damned for doing so,then so are millions of us!

Blackduck · 22/08/2005 14:33

ds went to nursery at 4 months (he's now 2+) - I worked FT and dp works PT so dp has him the rest of the time. Don't feel like you are failing him - it is a fact of life for so many of us.....
Ds LOVES nursery and when dp drops him off waves and says 'bye, see you later'......

Charlee · 22/08/2005 14:33

your not failing him! it will give him the chance to meet other children and play with them and socialiser it will be good for him, especailly when his mums a clever university grad!

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Original poster

Norash · 22/08/2005 14:34

Moondog, how young were yours when you sent them?

OP posts:

Original poster

Norash · 22/08/2005 14:37

He is my 1st and I guess I am just going to find it so hard handing him over to other people and trusting them to treat him right (like Mummy would , knowing that he cannot even say to me when he is sad or unhappy about stuff.

OP posts:

Original poster

Norash · 22/08/2005 14:39

Maybe I am just being silly.

OP posts:

Blackduck · 22/08/2005 14:43

Nope you are not being silly - its natural. Check the nursery out, check you are happy, make sure they give you regular up dates and that you make it plain what you are, and are not, happy with (feeding/sleeping/etc....) Spend time there, watch the staff, ask other parents...

moondog · 22/08/2005 14:45

Norash,mine was 7 months and it was also the day my dh went abroad to work,so I was really thrown in the deep end! It's natural to worry,but you have presumably chosen a nursery you like? Even this little,you will know if your baby is happy or not. It was clear to me that my dd liked the nursery and the staff,so after a wobbly first week I was confident with my decision.I'm sure you will be too!

Mum2girls · 22/08/2005 14:49

Norash, my first went at 7 months, my second at 6months.....don't be too hard on yourself love.

Original poster

Norash · 22/08/2005 14:52

Thanks guys,

it is a new place. The other place is run by the chech which I go to but that one only take kids feom 18months. This new place will take infants from 3 months.

OMG Moondog you really did have alot to deal with. I always thoought I was a strong person but having a baby has proved me wrong

OP posts:

moondog · 22/08/2005 14:54

We all feel vulnerable when we have kids norash. I am presently all on my own with two under 4's in remote eastern Turkey for three days as my dh has gone to Ankara on business!

dot1 · 22/08/2005 14:56

You're not just being silly - I found it incredibly hard to do, and mine was just going for 2 days a week. I thought I was being a dreadful parent - that none of the staff would know what a wonderful baby he was, and they wouldn't sing all his songs to him and know the things he could do... But he LOVES it - in fact he sings to them all day long and they think he's bonkers!!

At the end of the day we can't have everything - children, careers, college, whatever - so life's always going to be about the compromises and decisions we have to make. Meanwhile our gorgeous ds's will continue to thrive and have a fab time at nursery!

Em32 · 22/08/2005 15:20

My ds has been going three days a week since he was 5 1/2 months old. He loves it (now 18 months). I bet I can outdo you for guilt at the moment though, I'm coming up for 39 weeks pregnant and he's still going three days a week while I'm on maternity leave so that I get a rest ..........

Original poster

Norash · 22/08/2005 15:27

Em32 that made me . I am beginning to feel a little bit better that I am not alone in this. I probably will feel bad untill he settles down at the nursery.

OP posts:

luckylady · 22/08/2005 16:22

my DS has gone to creche for 2 mornings a week (from 7.45-10.45)in term time since he was 6 months old and i don't even work!!!!. As of september he will be going 3 mornings a week, he loves it, as soon as we walkin he holds his arms out for one of the owrkers then whenI pick him up I get a big smile then he crawls of to another activity. (not sure how he will be after the summer holidays may not go though as he has become quite clingy!! wil have to wait and see.)

luckylady · 22/08/2005 16:23

ment to add I did feel guilty at first as I never left dd until she was gone 2 years.

Em32 · 23/08/2005 08:56

Norash Yes you probably will feel bad until he settles but don't worry about it, everyone feels the same. Actually at 6 months they generally haven't developed separation anxiety yet so it is easier than putting them in later on when they definitely know you are going. My ds has a little moan every morning at the moment (we've just moved so new nursery) but after seeing his breakfast he stops - takes about 30 seconds for him to cheer up!

lulabelle · 23/08/2005 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lio · 23/08/2005 10:53

Hey, don't be sad Norash and don't give yourself a hard time, lots of us did this for various reasons. There isn't a 'perfect' mother, just the best we can all be.

Chin up,

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