Help! 9 yr old and 13 yr old at each other's throats

[alimac87]

I have a daughter of 9 and a son of 13 and to say they don't get on would be understatement of the year. They constantly nark at each other and today a spat over TV watching ended up with my 9 year old DD braining her big brother by throwing a boot at his head.

They have got along very badly for the last couple of years, made worse by my son going into cool teenager mode. He picks on her for being babyish or being annoying, and she plays up to it. I wonder also if it's complicated by my daughter having specific medical issues - she has severe food allergies plus asthma and eczema, so we have always had to be very careful with her. Unfortunately, she now has explosive tantrums that are at the absolute worst with her brother.

Any ideas on how to improve things would be really welcome. I'm an only child myself so I have no idea what's normal - but this just seems really, really bad.

This situation will not improve I am talking from experience.
The only solution is diversion tactics.

Set timings for whom may use the tv, the laptop, music etc..

Once times are set you will find they will be friends and negoitiate time slots.

sounds like your son provokes her, plus he is the older of the two. sit him down and tell him he has to stop tormenting his sister and if it continues after the warning he should be punished.

Consider it role playing for adult life. At least they'll get plenty of practice about dealing with arguments and dischord as they get older! I have 8 year old and 14 year old and they seem to play to each other's weaknesses - ie. bring out the worst in each other. But other times they're very loving and loyal. I guess only time will tell if they'll be close/buddies as they grow up - just because you're related doesn't mean you have to be close friends.