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I love my son but I don't like him

4 replies

threesweetstothewind · 20/07/2010 20:44

DS is 6 and an only child. I don't see this as an issue but maybe it has contributed to the way that DH and I deal with him. We think we haven't spoilt him but perhaps I'm wrong.

He is usually pretty well behaved in company. He never hits or is horrible to other kids and is quite kind and inclusive. His personality though, is the "highly sensitive" variety. He screams his head off loudly and is embarrassing when he hurts himself, he is really over dramatic so that other parents stare. I've tried lots of different ways of dealing with this but nothing changes.

He can be obsessive about things he is interested and asks endless questions over and over until I want to scream.

He is also struggling a bit a school (not really badly) but I have work to do with him at home-this always ends up with me shouting. It's really hard to get him to work with me. I try to make it fun but he hates it.

His behaviour seems to be getting worse, the backchat, completely ignoring me when I ask him not to do something and doing it anyway, being rude to other adults. DH is useless at parenting so I feel I'm on my own (TBH, it's like having two kids when they are together).

Just recently, I have felt like I am just so fed up with him. I lose my temper more easily as I'm so drained and feel like I'm sinking into some sort of depression. I'm not enjoying being a parent and sometimes I wonder if having a girl would have been different. They seem more mature and get on better at school. I sick of the rough play and the guns and the boys superheros stuff.

I feel like a bit of a failure. Everyone else seems to have it sussed. I only have one and I'm getting it wrong.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
whensmydayoff · 20/07/2010 21:08

Do you think maybe the problem is that you are feeling down so your DS is much more annoying?

It's just I was diagnosed with an under active thyroid which tends to make you anxious/down and I found my 2 (a boy and a baby girl) very hard work and I felt my DS just annoyed the hell out of me.

Now that I feel better, I can enjoy him again.

My DS is only 3 but very sensitive too. Over dramatic about bloody everything. Falls, toys breaking etc.
He also obssesses over his toys to the point where I could happily skip the lot.

I have a friend with a little girl the same age and honestly - give me 10 of my DS any day! She makes my DS look grounded, calm and easy going!

Yes, the annoying boys stuff is just that, very annoying.
Im not looking forward to squeezing my Hanna Montana with fairy wings into a car seat while she screams (which she does already very loudly) because she wanted her red sparkly shoes on either!

I know how it feels to spiral into that feeling that if you have one more day like today you will get in the car and drive but like them, we have phases too. You will get through this and he will change as he grows.
x

Theochris · 20/07/2010 21:28

Eldest/only children are often quite adult focussed and chatty. He sounds like a regular 6 yr old to me. They can be cheeky and a bit annoying. He sounds lovely too though.

I can remember my dad trying to help me with school work at about 9 and I hated it, he just pushed all my buttons and I him. Is there anyway you could get someone else to help with this? (BTW my dad is lovely)

Do you feel this might be more about feeling that you are doing it on your own and there is no back up in the bad times and no one to enjoy it with in the good times?

Theochris · 20/07/2010 21:33

I just re-read your post. No-one has it all sussed Children are people, complicated people and we are all flawed and not everything is as we wish it. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Kind and inclusive, honestly you must be getting some of the big things right, he sounds lovely.

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threesweetstothewind · 21/07/2010 20:19

Thanks everyone, for the replies.

Whensmydayoff, yes I think as I'm feeling so down I lose my temper more easily and my Dh also really irritates me.

There are lots of factors in my life getting me down eg. feeling unstimulated as I'm not working, feeling trapped in my marriage and doing the bulk of the childcare, suffering from awful PMT and coming to terms with not having any more children but I'm working slowly on resolving these. I think I would probably be coping better if it weren't for these things.

I know everyone else doesn't have it sussed but yesterday was a bad day and sometimes you want other mums to have a moan with you instead of being so bloody competitive and judgemental. "oh, have you tried this....well, my little george has never been one for...". ooh, it makes me want to scream!

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