I am an overanxious/overparenting/helicopter parent type, please help

[OrdinarySAHM]

I feel ill with worry about possible bad things happening to the children. I don't have any more reason than most people to think that bad things WILL happen.

I'm scared when they are not in my sight. Even when they are playing upstairs in the house and I am downstairs. If they go out of my sight in a large park I'm even worse.

I'm tense all the time about the smallest things, eg for one example out of many, if they were climbing around near rock pools on the beach, enjoying themselves, I would keep imagining them slipping and smashing their teeth on the rocks.

PLEASE can anyone recommend any good books to help me overcome this, or tell me about useful thoughts they have had which have helped with this sort of thing?

I realise that my overanxiety is not going to be good for them.

OP, poor you! Our children are so precious aren't they that the thought of anything happening to them is too much to bear.

I read an excellent book recently, Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy. She's the mum who let her 9 year old ride on the New York subway on his own and there was an outcry against her. Needless to say he was fine. What she says is that the best way to protect your children is by teaching them how to be safe. Like you said, stuff happens even when they are supervised and it's very very unlikely that anything more serious would happen than the odd bump or scrape, and our bodies are very good at healing themselves. Children need a bit of controlled not-too-risky danger otherwise they will not know what is safe and what their limits are.

The book's on Amazon btw

OP, poor you! Our children are so precious aren't they that the thought of anything happening to them is too much to bear.

I read an excellent book recently, Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy. She's the mum who let her 9 year old ride on the New York subway on his own and there was an outcry against her. Needless to say he was fine. What she says is that the best way to protect your children is by teaching them how to be safe. Like you said, stuff happens even when they are supervised and it's very very unlikely that anything more serious would happen than the odd bump or scrape, and our bodies are very good at healing themselves. Children need a bit of controlled not-too-risky danger otherwise they will not know what is safe and what their limits are.

The book's on Amazon btw

ok , when you start to worry and tell yourself these stories , carry the story on for eg dont just worry that your child will fall from the climbing frame actually tell the story of the worst scenario, child falls , ends up parylyzed , you feel devastated etc etc and tell it right through all the worst things that you worry could happen.

it actually helps

also , at he route of all these things you worry about is the fear that you cant handle it.
but you can. you would.
and knowing you can , there is nothing that can scare you!

you cannot control what other people do , what happens , to lessen your fear you just have to develop confidence in YOURSELF that you can handle it.

thinking this way has helped me and believe me i have been the worlds absolute worst worrier.

This book is good for all sorts of problems.

Reinventing your life:

www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Your-Life-Breakthough-Behavior/dp/0452272041

Has a section on what is called a vulnerability lifetrap which is what you are experiencing.

Recommended by a psychologist.