Please tell me othr people have 'Overwhelmed' days too

[LauraKB]

Hi All

I'm pretty sure I don't have PND but somedays I just feel so overwhelmed with everything, DD is 8 months. Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Didn't have an especially bad night (up for 2 hours but not too bad really) but felt that really sleepy groggy way, then could have cried when DD was sick after breakfast at the thought of having to clean up the floor, the highchair and change DD (who is less than co-operative and change times at the moment). I mean I did all these things because I would never have left her in sicky clothes or left sick anywhere else but just couldn't face the thought IYSWIM.

I feel bad about feeling this way sometimes because I have lots of support and DD really is a delight. She's not great at sleeping but nowhere near as bad as some of the stories I've read on here.

DD is starting separation anxiety I think and isn't very keen on anyone apart from me and her Gran, she doesn't even really like her Daddy just now and cries when I leave the room. DP adores her and I can tell this is hard for him and he is withdrawing a bit, which I've told him is the worst thing he can do but hey.

Please come and tell me I'm not the only one who has off days, everyone else I know seems to be supermum!, x.

PS Sorry for long moany post.

Hello Laura, no you are not alone - I still have "overwhelmed" days and DS is 7 now. However, I can remember how he was at 8 months when he needed me so much that I hardly ever seemed to have time to myself. When I did get some "me" time there were occasions where I wanted it to go on for a looong time - all night, a few days, a week. You are normal - babies are demanding (even if they are a delight) and if you are still having broken nights you must be exhausted.

Just remember that everyone else perhaps looks at you and thinks you are a supermum - women tend not to talk about the difficult bits when they get together but talk about the milestones achieved. The liklihood is that most other Mums are feeling the same way as you.

The separation anxiety is hard for Mums but just remember it's a phase that we all go through as babies and will pass - it's great because she is obviously attached to you and feels secure with you in a "I feel safe with my Mum and nobody else - well Dad might do if Mum is really not around but I'll screech first to see if she's in the vicinity" sort of way.

You are normal, is there anyone you can see or who will let you have a sleep today?

Hi, I feel exactly the same! DS is 3 months and some days I not only feel physically exhausted from lack of sleep but emotionally exhausted too. Think I had all these high expectations of myself which I'm just not meeting and I constantly over analyse stuff. Obviously I love DS to bits but in a way that makes it worse because I feel like I'm failing him. Also feel bad as I'm always moaning to my mum and DH about how awful I feel. Like you said, it seems everyone else has it sussed!

Phew, sorry about that little out pour. I'm sure it will get better and wanted you to know you're not alone. Keep going! X

Yes the overwhelming feeling is hard. I felt it almost daily until my ds was 18 months and it was a terrible feeling. I honestly think that if you asked most mothers would admit they've felt this way. I'm now pregnant with no2 and already scared of that overwhelmed feeling coming back.

Op most of us have felt like that, mostly its due to tiredness I think, just makes it harder to cope. I would say the feeling happens less over time...whether you just get used to the demands or whther the child(ren) just get easier over time (both I guess.) I got it most with my first, haven't really since having 2 for some bizarre reason! ( So 2 isn't soemthign to be scared of bensmum, you've done the hardest bit by having the first child I reckon! )

Oh we all have those days, it's the relentlessness, the thought that you are going to be wiping sick up for the next god-knows how long! And the drearyness of having to clean the high chair again, etc.

Being up for 2 hours is still pretty tough, even if you feel you are used to it. You'll be amazed how different you feel when you get a good nights sleep.

No advice on the separation anxiety thing though I am afraid. DD much prefers DH to me so we never had that issue!

We've all had those days and I still do now - mine are school age - I'll be having a fair few of those over the loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg summer holidays very shortly.

Doesn't mean I don't love the very bones of them but some days it would be lovely to press a pause button and step off for a few days r&r and come back to them as if you'd never left.

Go easy on yourself - this age is tough when they are very clingy.

Mine is 5 months, sleeps like a dream and has done since 3 weeks, so i have no excuses on the sleep front, but frankly some days i just feel so tired by the time dh comes home, i could literally cry at the thought of cooking dinner, and then again when i think of the ironing i've not done or the washing that needs doing. We've just moved onto solids, so i have that fun, plus bathtime and then milk before dh comes home. DH is great at helping out with bedtime, so i can;t blame that either! But, since he doesn't do it all the time, even at weekends, i still end up having to remind him what needs doing....like feeding (!) so i don't feel like am ever really off duty.

I feel guilty for saying how tired i am all the time, but then an early night normally does the trick. So, no, you're not on your own, we all have those days, I had one on friday, so reading your post made me glad it wasn;t just me either! Chin up and try and get sleep when your little one has a nap tomorrow morning - the washing can wait!

You are not alone. I get these all the time (have 3-yr-old and 5-month-old). I try hard to acknowledge the good days (well, good moments) too, to balance it all up.

Think we sometimes let the overwhelming moments overwhelm us, if you know what I mean.

My tip is to try hard to live in the moment. When you're having a lovely cuddle with DD or laughing together, cherish it. The washing, ironing etc can definitely wait. It does round here, anyway...

Thanks everyone, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!

My Mum is great and will take her anytime I need a break and I see her most days so I'm very lucky in that respect. DP works funny shifts so while he is away at night a lot the upside of this is he's here during the day quite often so we get to do family things so that is good.

I think MassiveBumperlicious, you've hit the nail on the head, 'Relentlessness' sums it up exactly.

The Oldest Cat, I think I was letting an overwhelming moment overwhelm me this morning, I feel much better now.

I did have to laugh this morning when DP came in from work DD was awake so we got her up and went to change her nappy. DP is a strapping bloke and I am pretty tiny, and as I walked behind him to go from one side to the other she couldn't see me (cos I was behind him) and started to cry. Poor wee thing, I was only out of sight for a second, lol.

I guess it is a case of chin up ladies, and if not, Gin lol, x.