Sorry to be naive, but why can't dd wear clip-on earrings? Why do they all want their ears pierced?

[famousblueraincoat]

I AM v naive on this score - I can honestly say that I've never knowingly worn an earring.

I was all set to let dd get her ears pierced like most of her peers (she's 12) but now am horrified at the health implications (described on t'internet).

What are the cons of clip-ons? Are they naff? Do they fall off?

There are, presumably, v good reasons for not wearing them?

(I was almost brave enough to post this on Style and Beauty, but then I thought, nah.)

Don't know Colm Toibin, but will google on recommendation of Leonard Cohen fan .

Advice is not to swim for a few weeks after piercing because of increased risk of infection. When DD 2 had her ears pierced she did have to cancel a swimming party with her friend. She does play Netball and they do have to remove earrings to play which is not possible for 6 weeks after they are done. All you can do is give her the facts and ask her to make her choice.

I was amazed when DD1 told me all her friends had pierced ears but when she had her 13th birthday party I checked - and they did.

You can get packs of stick on face/body jewels which are either self-adhesive or come with glue.

You could try fobbing your DD of with using these as earrings as they do look like tiny studs. Less clunky than trying to find nice clip-ons.

I was 8 when I got mine done. Let her. I wasn't bothered with them by the time I was 14 and they've closed up now.

Thanks, Piprabbit; that's worth a try.

The Colm Toibin story is in his collection Mothers and Sons; Famous Blue Raincoat has the song as a central feature.

I am afraid of infection caused by swimming; we would have to stick to the no-swim rule.

If you want to avoid as many piercing complications as possible, take her to an actual piercing studio. They'll do the piercing with a sterile needle instead of the piercing "gun".

The benefits are this: the needle makes a less rough-edged hole, so the ear with heal faster and with fewer complications; and there is only one, completely sterile implement involved, no bodily fluids splashing anywhere as on a gun!

She might also then be able to get a captive ball ring earring as a starter, which is easier to clean.

12 I think is fine for piercings, of the ear variety, anyway. If hygiene is good at both the piercing place and at home, the risks of infection are very small - my Mum made me show her my ears every day for about 6 months after i had them done to check, so that could be the deal you make with DD. I swam every day once two weeks had gone past, BTW, just have to be extra vigilant re disinfecting afterwards.

Clip ons super naff, as are stick ons.

Be thankful she isn't asking about belly button piercing!

Clip ons hurt a lot after wearing for a bit. And I wonder if the magnet ones would interfere with a mobile phone too, but don't know...

The stick on ones will get your DD teased unmercifully -- they're what 6 year olds wear when dressing up like mummy.

I think for most girls, the initial pain of getting the ears pierced is part of the allure, and most will grin and bear it very willingly. If you get them done at a place that doesn't use the gun, ask them about their technique of sterilisation, if a new needle is used each time, etc.

Really, if the friends are getting theirs done, you will find your DD becoming miserable if you think she should be happy with stick ons or clip ons.

I had my ears pierced at around 11/12, I think it's not an unreasonable age given it's a pretty mainstream cultural thing. I recall at the time they didn't heal too quickly so my original earrings were swapped for some tiny hoops to give more air circulation, and I've worn mostly hoops ever since. I think surgical spirit was involved too - oww. No real problems once I gave up trying to wear non precious metals.

Clip on earrings are foul - they have to compress your ear to stay on so you get swollen/red/sore regardless. And they move about/fall off.

What InvaderZim said.

Echo what InvaderZim said too.

Please please please do not get them done with a gun and by someone who has a 2 week training (if that).

Guns are bad, m'kay?

Have a search for local professional body piercers and read as many reviews as possible. There are always good ones and bad ones in each town/city. When it comes to piercings and tats, the old mantra is correct - You get what you pay for.

It may be a little bit more expensive, but you will be safe in the knowledge that the body piercer is qualified and is very very strict with hygiene.

There are calls to get piercing guns banned and by all means they should be.

If you read this and this hopefully you will never want to go near a piercing gun again

HTH

personally i would just let her, 12 is not really young most people have it done way before then. if you get it done in a decent place and keep them clean should be fine?

Also make sure her earrings are decent metal eg silver fine. Normally the ones they pierce them with are fine, after that I had some cheap ones and they gunked up my ears a bit, turned the bit round the hole green (nice) but any precious metal is good.

Thank you so much for all this advice. I particularly like the South Park reference, since I am an enormous fan of Eric Cartman. All the info about gunk, green stuff, spraying bodily fluid and the like...is what puts me off. As you can tell, I'm not rushing into this and will certainly avoid guns.

I can't help myself. I have to say something.

I run a jewellers and I do earrings for a lot of people. Nigella Lawson is one of my well known celebrities wearing my clip on earrings. Yes! Celebrities wear clip on earrings! Check out the October 2010 edition of Good House Keeping magazine for the Nigella feature or take a look at her in the first 3 series' of her TV show. I supplied the clip ons for all of them as well as for a lot of other TV shows, films, theatre and entertainers.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I'm very happy to say I have never knowingly supplied Pat Butcher with anything ever!!!

Ellen Paige who started in Inception is another young lady who looks fabulous in clips.

Here is the score with earrings:

HEALTH PROBLEMS
Statistically you are much more likely to have health problems with piercings as they're almost unknown with clips. In my decade as a jeweller I've seen:

• Ears that have turned angry and red with rashes and infections, most often triggered by allergies to cheap metals

• Ears disfigured by keloid scars. Although these seem to occur more often in women with African heritage, anyone can get them

• Ears that have split earlobes after a pierced earring was pulled - PLEASE WATCH OUT FOR THAT MUMS!!! I see it all too often and it will not heal back. If you need to carry a baby either wear clips or wear only studs - big dangles and hoops are asking for a yank and tug...

I also have a lot of Oriental Asian women who tell me that piercing isn't in their culture and that they believe there is an acupuncture point that gets damaged by piercing. I don't claim to be a TCM expert, it's just what I've been told.

COMFORTABLE OR NOT?
Clip earrings always come tight and pinching. There is a good reason for this! Have you noticed how different people have different thickness ear lobes? Some are generous others are slender, right? Therefore the clip will come set for the tightest fit so slender ear lobes can use it. What you need to do is adjust it if it pinches!

There are two basic types of clip fastening. An omega just needs you to squeeze it gently. See this picture: www.clip-on-earrings.co.uk/2010/04/the-easiest-way-to-soften-pinching-omega-clip-on-earrings

For paddle backs you can use a comfort key to lessen the tension. There is a picture on that here www.clip-on-earrings.co.uk/2010/04/how-to-stop-clip-on-earrings-pinching/

For both there are comfort cushions and pads you can use too and these can be handy for anyone with split or torn lobes or skin conditions that require the pressure to be spread over a bigger area.

In short it shouldn't hurt to wear them, you just might need to educate yourself as to how to do it properly if you haven't been shown.

STYLISH?
I can't speak for every boutique or every woman's tastes but I'd like to think that my collection at Make Me Beautiful www.make-me-beautiful.co.uk has something for those with a taste for fashion. We've won awards and we actually have the many of the same designers who you'll see in Cosmo, Glamour, Vogue and Red designing lines exclusively for us, although we are focussed on costume jewellery rather than luxury jewellery.

My friends over at Net-a-porter do a great thing in catering for those with deeper pockets who want clips with lines by Oscar De la Renta, YSL, Missoni and others.

There are also many great independents who sell handmade items at places like Spitalfields or online at Etsy.com or Folksy.com.

In that sense, I know there wasn't much choice in clip in the past but that's like there wasn't great places for mums to hang out and natter and then along came the internet and voila! Nowadays there should be something for every taste whether it's bling, boho, fashion, kooky, quirky, retro, bohemian... it's out there waiting to be found!

It goes without saying that whilst clips are a good choice for younger kids, do use common sense! Small things - never good for very small kids. Expensive things - easily lost by young children. For teens and just prior there should be no problem. In fact they should be the envy of their friends since many of the earrings you can get in clip these days are the same designs as you can get in pierced - and without the health risks.

I'd just like to say thanks as well to all the Mumsnetters who've mentioned my earrings to others in previous talk posts. I always get surprised by just how connected users of this site are. Thanks! If anyone is using www.make-me-beautiful.co.uk, you can use MN2010C as a coupon code at checkout to show you're from Mums Net and get 20% off.

Anyway, I hope that's useful to you famousblueraincoat and if you or anyone else do have any questions on how to make wearing your clip ons more comfortable feel free to give our offices a call, one of the girls will be happy to talk you through it