Desperate for help

[StressedStepmum]

My (nearly) 4 year old still has accidents in his underwear. He went through a really great stage where he was using the toilet with no accidents, but all of a sudden, its all gone out the window. He frequently has accidents and doesn't say anything. Yesterday, he did a poo and was playing wiht it in his pants so it ended up all over his hands and clothes. Its so frustrating, because he was doing it perfectly. Any ideas?

I think its always worth ruling out any physical problems so speak to GP.

On the other hand, it is very common and i guess patience, and keeping your cool is the best thing to do!
Encourage him to help with the cleaning up may make him see if he didn't do it he'd have more time to play!
Have you tried a bit of bribery? a treat if he manages to keep clean for a week of how ever long you think.

Be patient and hang in there. My 4 yr old has just grown out of a phase of wetting herself, stripping off naked and running around as if nothing has happened at all..she has been dry for just over two years with the odd relapse.
I wondered if she was just getting laszy in the garden and then DH was worrying that it was attention seeking, worrying about being a "big girl soon" as she was going up to school in Sept. Sure enough, last week she asked me if she could wear her sister?s pull up pants (she is almost 2). I asked her why she wanted to dress like a little baby and she told me that if she wore nappies then she wouldn?t have to go to school and could stay and be my baby at home...bless her. Had a long chat - think it was combination of laziness and this school worry. once talked through and went school shoe shopping to boost up the desire to be a big girl again all is fine.
I guess it is worth trying to work out if there are any underlying reasons why he is doing this - maybe just because he is curious and experimenting just like playdough! Maybe because he is getting a little distracted playing and nothing more sinister? At least, if you know in your own mind why it is happening you can gently support and encourage him back on track?
Good luck - I know how frustrating it can be - let alone all the extra washing

The school thing is not the issue. He is so excited to go to school with his brothers and sisters and when I tell him that he won't be able to go unless he stops having these accidents, he gets upset. So that's not it. We have a star chart for him but maybe I need to reinforce this with regards to accidents also. I made him clear it up the other day, nothing seems to deter him, is it time to visit the GP?

I guess only you know whether he needs to see the GP? My gut reaction is that if he was doing this frequently and each time quite surprised and upset by it I might suspect a medical problem but if he is genuinely unfazed by it would suspect it is laziness or emotional issue ? However, maybe a GP appointment would help to reinforce the message and make your DS understand how important it is to use the toilet as well as putting your mind to rest?