Two under 18 months - HOW?!

[ExistentialistCat]

I'm expecting our second baby in early October. DD will be just 15 months old by then. I'm having a freaking-out day about how it's all going to work. Please reassure me!

HOW do you manage things like nappy changes, nap times, mealtimes, stairs, getting in and out of the car and cooking tea with two so young?

Life has just got back some semblance or normality now that DD is 1 and I'm really enjoying it. I'm scared that I'll never get it back again once there are two...

First of all-congratulations!

Secondly-take a deep breath!
It can be hellish having two under 18months but so rewarding too. The key is organisation and relaxation (very hard to do with two so small, I know but grab it when you can).

The organising is easy and its the small things that make the difference-ever since dd was born, i make sure that the kids all have clothes out ready for the next morning.
If one needed their nappy changed, I checked the other one.
When i was feeding dd, i always gave ds1 a choice of what he wanted to do, whether it was getting some books out or putting on a favourite program, anything to distract him for a little while.
Tea-time, dd went in her bouncy chair whilst ds1 'helped' get the food ready.

Rest and relaxation is a bit harder, but my hv gave me a tip that i still swear by, even though the kids are now 6,5 and 2. In the afternoon we pull out the beanbag (sofa is just as good), put on a dvd and all cuddle up together. Dc's dont always fall asleep (and neither did I!) but its nice to not have to think about doing anything.

Good Luck when your new arrival comes.

I honestly dont know how other women manage?? My DD1 is 13, and DD1 is 2.

I have a 9wk old DD and a 21month DS. I spent the entire Pg worrying about how I would manage. I felt it was busy enough with one never mind a new baby in tow. Anyway here I am in the thick of it, and yes it is extermely busy and rather stressful at times..However there are other times it's fine and I actually have time to post on MN,. What I,m saying is you will find your routine and somehow you'll manage and dare I say actually enjoy it at times.My DD is a wee darling and I can't imagine life without her and my DS seems to have adapted to being a Big bro well (a few teathing problems but he's fine).Good luck xxxx

mine are 17 months apart so only just under 18 months difference but i found it okay? they are now just turned 2 and 7 months. i think as long as your dc1 is walking by 15 months it should be fine. my ds1 was quite a late walker aroundf 15 months so would have been a bit tricky but im sure there are ways around it, however most of them are walking before that so should be alright?
i find it helps a lot to go out every day to activities, if they are stuck in the house too long its much more difficult. for things like mealtimes/cooking it might be useful to have a playpen so you can put one of them in and dont have to worry if they are playing too roughly with the baby while you are trying to cook? (mine when we are at home start playing which is fine but if toddler gets too over enthusiastic and baby is tired or not in the mood can be a bit much, so good to have the option of seperating them like that when you need it)
i would say just stick mostly to the older ones routine and get the baby to fit in with that, they will have to be more flexible. my ds1 i was a bit ott with things like "nap time is exactly 10am, 1pm etc" but ds2 just fall asleep anywhere whenever he is tired, so he is much easier routinewise
i dont think it is that much harder than just having one, you will get used to it quickly hopefully and then be fine. at times if they both start screaming at once it can be stressful but it is really nice having two together, especially when you see them playing together and love each others company. oh and you might be suprised how much noise only two of them together can make, but its nice
congrats on your pregnancy and dont worry too much

hello
just wanted to add my congratulations and also a tip i've recently learnt - and am trying to implement is to..
Slooowww. Down.....
And go at the children's pace. Not my own overly ambitious Let's Get Everything Done in Five Minutes thing. Mine are a little further apart (25 months) but i still think it's worth just taking things at THEIR pace. If you LO needs feeding - feed him/her! If your elder one wants to watch telly/paint/unpack the shopping - let them! Ultimately, it doesn't matter.
firawia makes a good point - getting out once a day really helps. Even if it's a walk. It helps clear everyone's cobwebs out.

I too had 3 under 18months,if you keep your expectations low, ignore the gray hairs,give yourself a pat on the back now and again and stock up on wine/coffee it is do-able.

you go slower.
lower your standards.

think of the positives

• my first two, 17 months apart, played together from when dd2 was 8 months old.

you get nappies and buggies out of the way quicker, ok it's concentrated but you will be out the other side sooner.

• it only gets easier, as they get older, with this close an age gap.
• they are generally too young under 18months for sibling jealously.
• it's cute, one baby on each arm.

naps. we were always relaxed about naps but I did get quite good at making them both have a post-lunch nap at the same time.
baths - they don't REALLY need lots of baths.
just do baths when you have another adult to help.
cooking tea. keep it simple... etc.

Thank you so much everyone, and at the idea of three under 18 months!!

Thinking of the positives and slowing down are two bits of advice that I'm going to try to cling to as best I can.

I think some of my worry must be related to pfb-ing and I guess DD1 will just have to learn that I can't meet all of her needs quite as immediately as I have been trying to do...

I might even - baulk - have to Let Go a bit. Not a good thought for this control freak. I'm sure it'll be character building in any case...

Thanks again. Further tips MOST gladly welcomed!

Congrats on pregnancy!

I have 17m gap, DS now 23months, DD 6m.

It hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought, DD really just fits in round DS's routine. And DS too young to be jealous, they love each other to bits and it's lovely to see them together.

Things that helped:

• Have pushchair ready at all times so you can all go for a walk when things get fraught! Then baby can sleep and you can have a breather from nonstop entertaining.
• Pack changing bags in the evening. Keep stack of nappies, clean baby clothes etc downstairs as you can't really pop upstairs and leave them alone together.
• Have a shower in the evening so you can just get up and throw on clothes in the morning, otherwise you might still be in pyjamas at teatime!
• Keep up older child's routine as much as poss.
• We found a lovely playgroup, when DD was younger and needing constant feeding other mums would supervise DS and bring me a coffee.
• Occasionally DD did just have to sit in her chair and cry for a bit while I was cooking tea, horrible at the time but only for a few minutes and she doesn't seem to bear me a grudge now!
• CBeebies!!!

Enjoy, you are getting all your nappy changing, sleepless night etc out of the way early!

I have a 13MO gap between my two...

It's tough at first, but soon enough, you will get into a routine and I've been surprised at how similar their needs actually are.

DD is coming up to a year now and we are getting along great. DS is 25 months.