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Parenting

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Original poster

Shouted at my 3 yr old DS with windows open so al childless neighbours heard

18 replies

Marrsy · 13/07/2010 07:51

After 7 straight days of my DS refusing to go to bed until 9 or 10 at night and 5am starts with lots of exhausting daily challenges in-between, I lost my temper on Sunday evening and shouted at my son. All the windows and doors were open and my neighbours were having a garden dinner party with some other neighbours. I'm now really worried they think I'm awful to my son (this was a very rare occurrance). I feel terribly guilty and weak at losing my temper at a 3 year old anyway but now have the added stress of the neighbours hearing it going on. I was screaming like a mad woman at one point so would not be surprised if they thought I was unstable. Obviously the over-riding concern about all of this is how upset my poor son was. I've tried the softly softly approach with him and it wasn't working so let myself go this time and now feel awful about it.

Does anyone else get this upset with their very young kids now and then? What shall I say to the neighbours (none of whom have kids)

Marrsy

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ShinyAndNew · 13/07/2010 07:54

You should move next door to me. "Nooooo, dd2, why would you do that" Or "BED. NOW. BED. I cannot cope with this noise any longer" Is regularly heard through my windows. I have a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old.

I'm sure your neighbours thought nothing of it. If it was happening every night with you shouting "For fucks sake just go to fucking sleep" like my neighbours , then I'd see your point.

Original poster

Marrsy · 13/07/2010 09:17

Ooh no, I'm not quite at that stage (yet, lol). It's just embarrassing, esp when they don't have kids so don't understand how they can drive you to absolute distraction at times.

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toccatanfudge · 13/07/2010 09:18

what Shiney said.

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General parenting

ProfYaffle · 13/07/2010 09:21

I was walking to the pub to meet a friend the other night, passed a row of fairly posh barn conversation type houses with the velux windows open, could hear someone's dulcet, fishwife tones bellowing "Don't just stand there looking at me, GET TO BED!!!!"

Was fab, made me v glad it's not just me!

Original poster

Marrsy · 13/07/2010 20:01

It is good to know others do. I'm more sensitive than usual at the moment because of the pressure of my two DS's but really, sod what the neighbours think, I've got bigger worries.

OP posts:

Oblomov · 13/07/2010 20:25

I have shouted at ds1 , over the last year a number of times. would be ashamed if i had been videoed. had windows open. dread to think if anyone heard. assume someone must of. so ashamed. not that it makes it better, but you are not alone.

lovechoc · 14/07/2010 19:53

Yes I did it today - not impressed with myself and apologised to DS for shouting at him. He went up to his room whilst I was preparing dinner and I just lost it with him, shouting at him to get up off the floor and get downstairs NOW. Over reaction on my part, but was fed up of him not listening to me - he is 3 also.

I think as long as you don't shout and behave like that all the time - isolated incident - then you can be forgiven. We are only human and sometimes we just vent through pure frustration and exhaustion (my excuse is I'm 3 days overdue with DS2!).

DreamTeamGirl · 14/07/2010 22:59

Another one who ahs been there done that...
On the bright side I have heard my next door neighbour shouting at hers too, so we both know it isnt just us!!

14hourstillbedtime · 15/07/2010 02:10

Today I have:

Shouted at my DS (3)for spreading sodding blue paint all over the laundry room floor, his feet (and then walked around so footprints everywhere), his BIKE (ARRGGHHH!)and his own self. He told me he was scared....

Let him watch television for the first time in his life - I know he is three, but we are a very antie-TV family (DH actually doesn't watch it at all), so goes against a core value of ours....

Also lost it with the baby (12 weeks) and let her cry for a bit after third micronap of the day (20 minutes!!!) as can't. take. it. anymore.

Mother of the Year award over here... not....

So, no you are not alone!!!

14hourstillbedtime · 15/07/2010 02:13

the nap was 20 minutes, I didn't let her cry that long!!

Original poster

Marrsy · 15/07/2010 06:47

It's MASSIVELY challenging for us all! I don't have any family help to rely on either so never any little break from the pair of them to look forward to. I understand why people move back home to be near parents - there's an old saying, 'it takes a village to raise a child' - I can see why!!

Thank God for wine! (grin)

OP posts:

WEENEENIE · 15/07/2010 16:01

mine is 3ys old also and I am going through the stage of being so fed up of not being listened to. Great to know I'm not alone! My neighbour and I regularly asks if I can hear her shouting at her 3yr old (I can't), I just hope she can't hear me!

bananalover · 15/07/2010 16:28

After so many arguments with my DC's in the garden and on the park across the road, I now seethe inwardly, wait until we are all back in the house, then tell them off. The embarressment of the neighbours tutting over the fence has become too much, so I keep quiet until we are in the house...with doors and windows shut.

swampster · 16/07/2010 00:01

If my neighbours were MNers I'd be reading about myself on here.

elnmummy · 16/07/2010 07:21

Yes yes yes I do too!!!!!! Mine are 4.5 and 2.5 years and I do sometimes totally lose it with them; it's not been uncommon for me to scream "Just stop it pleeeeeeeeassssssseeeeeeeee" and "Get down these stairs right now" in a way that would make Jo frost sigh and raise her eyebrows at the camera........windows open I am sure I have been heard on more than one occasion

My neighbour screams at her kids all day long and especially at bedtime or at 6.30am - once I could hear her son crying "mummy mummy" so loudly I thought it was one of mine! (Hers are 5 and 3). Makes me dial it back a lot though as she does nothing BUT yell at them.

So I guess we're all often in the same boat and I will be joining you on the wine at approx 7pm !!

abdnhiker · 16/07/2010 07:51

I was so relieved to chat with the elderly neighbours daughter and find out he's so deaf that's he'd not hear me yelling (plus she said he'd have mentioned it to her if he had). Everyone else I know well enough that I don't mind if they hear me screaming at my two!!!

walkersmum · 16/07/2010 07:58

But no matter how sorry we are is it really OK to lose it? I shut the door of the room they are in, loudly, then walk into the down stairs loo, swear a lot. Then come out and carry on as before, cross but not shouting and swearing.
I had so much of that as a child and it still gives me nightmares, seriously.

abdnhiker · 16/07/2010 08:26

My mom was a shouter and honestly in never bothered my brother and I, we knew it wasn't something we needed to be scared of, just that it meant we needed to start behaving. I think it depends on whether you're shouting because you've completely lost it and you're out of control or whether you're shouting to let off steam and get their attention...

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