Filled with self doubt about continuing my PhD.

[TumTumGnu]

Hi there, I was kind of just hoping that someone on here might be able to give some advice, talk some sense into me or otherwise say something nice.

I've been doing a part time PhD in film studies for about a year and a half and have been really enjoying it though it is really hard work as I also work fulltime. However, last samester I was offered the chance to take a seminar group of 2nd year undergrads. I managed to fit it around my proper job so thought I might as well. But after finishing it I've realised that I just don't really enjoy teaching and don't particularly want to do it again. The thing is I always thought I would enjoy it and figured that after finishing my studies I would go into lecturing at least part time. Now I just feel a but confused as to what I want to do. I do enjoy the studying but is it really worth continuing if I've got no intention of ever using it? Can you really complete a PhD while working full time if you are just doing if for no other reason than you quite enjoy it?

I would really appreciate some words of wisdom from others who are studying as this has really knocked me back. I just haven't been able to concentrate on my research at all and I'm feeling pretty miserable about the whole thing!

I'm in a similar position but very new to the PhD. I'm not syre I have any advice, but I hear you...

Hi tumtumgnu, i have just recently finished my PhD (although not while working full time, you must be crazily busy!), and so can sort of appreciate what you're feeling.

i think that it's a very positive thing that you enjoy your PhD. For me, that would be enough to continue doing it. It's definitely true, as I'm sure you know, that not everyone uses their PhD once they're finished. But I've never met ANYONE who thought it was a waste of time afterwards.

What field are you in? I'm in science, and I know it's very difficult to get a lecturing position in science, even with a PhD.

Are there any other options that appeal to you - e.g. research journal editing, consulting? Not trying to put you off lecturing at all, just trying to get a full picture

HI,

Thanks for the kind words breatmilk, it's good to know I'm not the only one as doning a PhD can feel like a rather solitary act of madness sometimes.

whiteflame you are right, crazy is definatly the word!

I've actually just found out the 'proper job' is offering me a new role which I have been wanting for ages but never thought they would actually give me. So, I've decided that I need to take a break from the study, focus on the job and spend some time getting my head together. I've emailed my supervisory team about maybe taking a year out and then seeing how I'm going and if I want to go back or not. I'm hoping they will be open to this idea.

It was a really hard decision to make (I did have a bit of a cry when I sent the email ) as I really love the studying but just don't think I can do the new job and the PhD at the moment. I do feel so much better for having made the decision though so I'm sure it's the right thing to do.

I did my PhD whilst working full-time with one child. I had no intention of becoming an academic or of having my work published.
It is entirely possible to continue doing it just for the sake of doing it. I, of course, had days when I just couldn't be bothered, but I generally really enjoyed doing something that wasn't related to either work or parenting.

Congratulations on the new job, and I hope you are able to finish your doctorate one day.

I too did a Phd for my own self worth rather than it helping me career wise....there was too a tiny bit of vanity as I wanted to call myself Doctor sunnylabsmum! If you are enjoying it and managing to juggle all the demands then you are a good way there. I had periods when I had to suspend my studies and I always found myself going back for more study!