I feel such a silly cow!

[SillyCow]

This all sounds so juvenile and childish, I can't believe I am admitting it on here.

I have been in contact with an old schoolfriend (male) via email for a few months now. He has been very nice and friendly but I suppose somewhere in the back of my mind, I had been thinking of a brief flirtation.

Over the last couple of days we have been texting and he asked to ring me. I was nervous as I thought that I would build this up into something bigger in my mind. He did ring though and it was absolutely fine, he was perfectly friendly and there was no hint of any flirting from either of us.

However, later on after a major drinking session with my friend we sent him a stupid text message. I got up this morning to see I had received an email, which I suppose was letting me down gently.

I managed to worm my way out of it by saying that I must have sent the message to him instead of my partner by mistake and he has accepted this.

I have deleted all his emails and mobile number from my phone and that is that. I feel so guilty though, my partner obviously knows nothing about this. Have I done something really bad? Apart from acting like a stupid school kid?

I guess this is all part of me feeling fed up at home, I think I'm yearning for the grand passion you feel when you first meet someone. That has totally disappeared from our relationship and we are more like friends than anything else.

You havent been a silly cow at all. We all have moments of panic and doubt, and imagine what it would be like with someone else. Thee fact is we do nothing seriously wrong when it comes down to it. You have just been flirting and realising you are still a women and its exciting!!!!! Don,t give your self a hard time and as for him letting you down you wouldnt have done anything anyway obviously just another man with his head stuck some where dark!

I understand exactly where you are coming from. You wanted a bit of harmeless fun thst's all. You are not a silly cow. How about trying to reignite the spark with DP? I know that DH and I sometimes take each other for granted and it's normal to want a bit of excitement sometimes. I read somewhere once that Michael Caine and his wife keep their marriage alive by doing their own thing through out the day, but always meeting up at 6pm every evening in their' lounge' for a G&T and to talk about their day. They even get all dressed up and treat is as a proper date. How nice is that?

Bet Mrs Caine hasnt put children to bed, wipes carrot puree off her shoulder and cooked aforesaid meal..

We all yearn for the frisson you get when someone fancies you.

Thanks guys. I do feel a bit better tonight. The stupid thing is, there wasn't even any flirting. I just feel guilty for even considering it.

I'm annoyed with myself for sending the message though. It seemed hysterically funny last night, this morning it just felt humiliating.

The thing that has made me feel worse is that my partner is being so nice at the moment. Perhaps this was the shake up that I needed. Hey Ho!!