Do you sleep with your child/ren?

[breeze]

My DS is aged 3.8, and I have never slept in the same bed as him.

Occasionally when he is ill, we will go to the spare bed (he calls it the sick bed) and I will lay with him until he calms down, then he goes back in his own bed. I have attempted to sleep with him but he such a fidge pants and I end up putting him back.

Luckily when he wakes up in the night, he calls out and never gets up.

I mentioned this to a friend and she thinks that is weird that we have never slept in the same bed. Do you?.

Do you live in a lighthouse?

Actually it is a bit like a lighthouse ; only one room deep but 4 storeys high. Far from having buns of steel, I generally require a lie down at the half way point.

Are you pregnant too Bells ? (Notice that you mentioned no3 earlier). That must be really hard work for you

ooh your house sounds like ours bells. 5 different levels. 38 stairs. No wander my knees are going.

Yes - I'm 30 weeks. It would be ok if only my rather large 19 month old daughter would learn to walk. Carrying her up 51 stairs really does almost finish me off. Have to confess that in recent weeks I have been looking thoughtfully at our ancient and very creaky dumbwaiter and wondering whether perhaps she might enjoy being hoisted to her bedroom instead...

Up until the age of 1, ds slept in his cot then moved to bed shortly after 1st birthday. Now he is over 2, he is frequenting our bed rather too regularly. I think the heat is affecting his sleep and he has an issue with noises, the other night it was the man in a lorry, don't have a clue who that was! He spends most of the night in his bed but in the early hours, sometimes 2am and if we are lucky 6am, he arrives with his toy and juice in tow! Hopefully he will grow out of it. I don't really have a problem with it, but sometimes it would be nice to have the bed back!

Breeze hooray - me neither with any of mine past about 3 months for the odd hour. I cant stand it!!

Only if I really have to - DP is much more fun!!!!

My daughter now stays in her bed but she did go through a spate when she was about 18 months but I just used to wait until she was asleep and go and put her back.

I love co- sleeping. I've learned to sleep in 6 inches of bed now, and it feels odd when I get more!

We co-sleep on occasions with our 15 month DD. It started at birth as she hated her crib. At 2 weeks she went in a bedside cot which worked well, and she slept right through from 6 weeks to about 5 months when we went on holiday. On and off since then she has come into our bed for part of the ight (varies how much). She is sleep more and more in her own cot each night now and guess what? I miss her - sad isn't it. When I am working I just find co-sleeping easier than sleepless nights. Co-sleeping means we all get a full night's sleep - which I so need before a day at work!

Doesn't affect me and Dh either.

At the moment DD is in our room as we are stilll in rented accomodation. We finally move next Friday, 11 months late(!), and DD gets her own room. I am hoping his will mean that she will sleep through even more as we won't be disturbing her.

My dd was evicted from our bedroom after about a week because she made so much noise when she was asleep I couldn't sleep at all But we sometimes both fell asleep in bed after a night feed and up to about 4 months I'd bring her into bed for the morning feed and we'd often doze off together after that. She still comes into bed for the morning bf but goes back in her cot for her morning sleep - she's now 8mo. I wouldn't say never sleeping together is weird - unusual maybe.

You're all going to think I am v strange as DD still sleeps with me and she is 6y7mo. When DH comes home at the weekend she goes to her own bed, or the spare bed, depending on where she fancies sleeping. If I go to bed and DH is snoring like a train, I'll end up in the spare bed too/instead! Very flexible bed arrangements in our house.

I don't know she's there, to be honest.

Bells the baby that died recently (2nd one to the same couple, is that the one you mean?) lived just a couple of miles from me.

Obviously the local paper has covered it in some detail, warning of the dangers of sleeping with your baby but also giving guidelines about what to do if ou decide to e.g. make sure baby has room, partner knows baby is in bed, no gaps where bay can get stuck, etc.

What I think will worry local parents though is that the paper reported that of the 30 babies taken to hospital as 'unexpected deaths' since 1996, only one could be defined as 'cot death' - causes unknown. All the others had died either in their parents' bed or on the sofa, with or without parents present.

Haven't read everyone else's answers, but I'm going to give you my opinion anyway!

I don't think you're weird. With ds I had him in bed with me for the occasional few nights when he was tiny, but he was sleeping through from 4 months anyway.

Dd on the other hand is 2.2 and she slept through the night in her own bed for the first time last week! She didn't sleep through the night until about 18 months, and it has been a long road to get us to here, but it's fantastic! I was quite happy sharing a bed with her most of the time, but it's great to get the bed to myself.

Message withdrawn

No, never - (well once, when we were staying with a friend & he woke up & I was paranoid about him waking up the other family).

I am a really poor sleeper and don't even like sharing with DH !! The thought of having a wriggling child in with me as well - DS went in his own room from 3 weeks ......... now if only I could persuade DH to have his own room!

I suppose one could put at the end of the invitation "I have to confirm numbers by the xxth of xxxx, so if child will be attending please let us know by then." That way at least you will know in advance which children definately WON'T be coming, rather than hangning on wondering if those who didn't reply are going to turn up anyway....

I have co-slept with all of my kids and they do seem to grow out of it by about 2 years We are having problems with ds2 who refuses to sleep anywhere where mummy is not but like SueW, we have very flexible sleeping arrangements and I often end up in the spare bed or sometimes even on the sofa! It does interfere with sex, though. Bit of a passion killer having to stop in the middle of things to put a baby back into bed I guess its like anything really - you just get used to it!

Very weird - I was reading the invitation thread - NO idea why my response posted into this one. Sorry all!!!

I don't think it's weird at all. I want Lottie in her own bed in her own room at night, sleep is the only time that me and DP get to ourselves (!!), and Lottie for that matter. Our DD has us all day but it's important she has time on her own. She loves her cot and her own space. Also thats our time - bedtime, it's our own space and if we want to have sex at 3am or 7am or 12.30am we can. When she gets to that stage when she may get out of bed and try and get into ours, I hope I'll be able to get up, give her a cuddle and put her back in her own bed, I know that might be easier said than done but that's what I'm hoping will happen!

The one thing that I have refused to do it play 'musical beds'. I have friends who have moved out of their bed to the child's vacated one. No way!
I fed all my babies in bed but only co-slept by default ie I passed out with tiredness
I have has children of various ages coming into bed if they have fely unwell or had a nightmare. If they woke either dh of myself up sleeping restlessly then they were lifted back to their own beds. I never take them into bed at the start of the night. Haven't had anyone creeping in for months now. Bliss.

I do draw the line at sleeping in a child's bed. Our spare room bed is a wonderfully comfortable 5-footer (ours is a 6-footer) which is prob why co-sleeping is not such an issue.

When DS was tiny he slept in the moses basket next to me ... never ever in our bed ... I was too paranoid about squashing him. When he was 6 weeks he went into his own room in his cot as I just couldn't sleep with the noises he made.
On the rare occasions that we have had to share a room or bed with him (due to staying the night at someone's house) it has been hell and I have been desperate to get home back to normal.
In fact when DS was 2, we were on holiday and he learned how to climb out of the travel cot. He had to spend the whole holiday sharing our bed and it was a real b**ger to get him back to his own room when we got home ... in fact that was the start of his sleep problems!!
So ... Breeze ... you are not weird at all .. well, if you are then I am too

When we stayed at SILs she provided a futon for ds1. he refused point blank to sleep on it and came into the double bed with me (joined by ds2 in the middle of the night). We kicked dh onto the futon