Is sending my 3 yr old to granmothers house wrong?

[summ1]

HELP! I am having a disagreememt with my hubby, I'm panicking over the six weeks holiday wondering what the hell to do with my son as he wont be at playschool and im going to have to entertain him all day for six weeks!
I have suggested he go to my mums house for a week, change of scenary, time out for me, etc...( also have 7 wk old babe.)but hubby says hes to young and its to far, we are north, mum is south, any one have any opinions or suggestions about this?

sounds like a very good idea as if you have a break from him he'll enjoy the holidays a lot more when he gets back and you'll find you really miss him after a half-day or so! I have only done this once when my younger child had chickenpox very badly and I had tonsillitis - I felt guilty but in retrospect ds1 (then 4) had a great time at my Mum's and he'd have been bored rigid (and probably made me stressed and therefore I'd have been ratty with him!) had he been hanging around the house! A week may be a bit long for both of you for a first visit though - is there any chance she could come and stay for a couple of days to help amuse him and for him to get used to her and then take him back with her for a couple of days?
I think everyone is daunted by the prospect of the long holidays - in our area we try to fix up a few set sessions where most of the playgroup parents meet up say every monday and friday morning i the local park to keep the kids occupied and then a lot of informal play dates follow on from that - also doing "swaps" with other mums works well too - they have your child say on Tuesday mornings in the holidays and in return you have theirs on Thursday morning for example - sometimes your own child is less work with a friend to play with, and often they just go in the garden and play anyway! Good luck!

I left my DD with my mum for a week once when she was 2 and again when she was 3. The first time to meet my DH in real life and the second for my honeymoon.

DD and my mum are SOOOOO close, they love each others company and both get upset unless they see each other every other day. They are great together.

I think that as long as your DS has a good relationship with your mum and feels safe with her then he isn't too young. I also think that you will be a happier mum for the other 5 weeks if you have less to worry about, running after a 3 year old and looking after a 7 week old babe.

HTH

Go for it! My ds1 and ds2 have always gone to stay with my parents for breaks, since ds1 was just 1 - they all had a fantastic time together. (My parents too are a long way off, so we can't visit them frequently for short visits). I was thinking of this today, looking at pictures on the wall of holiday snaps with them ... my dad was diagnosed with cancer in October, and has been in intensive care for the last week - it is touch and go at the moment. I know having that time with his grandsons meant the world to him - if we'd put it off until they were older, it wouldn't have happened.

My ds (5.5yo) goes to stay with his grandmothers on both sides for a week or more at a time in the holidays and loves it. This has always happened and he has a loving and close relationship with my ex MIL as a result. He's spent lots of time with her since he was a baby so I'd say go for it, definitely.

My sympathies kmg. My step-sister died of liver cancer just last night, she was 25 (very poorly for a number of years, at deaths door for months). I hope things look brighter for your Dad soon.

Summ1 - My DD is 11 months and frequently goes and stays the weekend with my Mum in Wales (about 2 hours from us). We meet at a point halfway and do a handover to ease the driving strain. She goes every couple of months and they both really enjoy it.It gives Mum a chance to get know her GD without me hovering in the background and it gives DP and I some time together

Perhaps you could compromise with DH with regards to his concerns of DS's age etc and let DS spend 3 or 4 days away at his Grandmas. If it goes well then you can make it a more regular arrangement and he could stay that little bit longer.

I think it's a wonderful idea. My friend regularly sends her ds (2.5 yrs) to her parents for a week at a time since she's had her new baby. He loves it and has a warm close relationship with his grandparents. It sounds like you could use a break and not only you, but both your children (and your dh although he doesn't realize it) will benefit from it.
I would send mine to my parents if they weren't so far away.

We've left our ds with his grandparents quite a few times as it gives us a chance to spend time together (a marriage saver for us). The most we have ever done is 3 nights so I can't imagine a whole week (plus gps are in early 70s so do get tired) but ds really, really loves his gps and would probably enjoy the whole experience. He's even dropping big hints about spending the night at my sister's . He gets a tiny bit homesick/mumsick just before bedtime, so they are extra specially sweet with him then - and I ring all the time, too.

I admit I do get morbid about my parents' age and love the fact that ds is really getting to know them well - and vice versa.

The sluglet stays with her grandparents all the time. We went to Ireland for a week and left her there when she was 7 months old. Both she and her grandparents love it, they take her everywhere with them, my FIL even takes her fishing!

Admittedly it is only 10 minutes walk from our place, so we don't have to worry about the distances involved. You'll probably have to think carefully about how you get him there. I like the idea of a halfway hand over.

When DD (my eldest) was 3.5 she heard that her grandparents & great-grandparents were going to France & decided she was going with them. They were concerned because they were going for 3 wks & I was on the verge of having DS2, but she insisted.

She had a whale of a time. Was "too busy" to speak to me or DH on the phone, not interested to hear about the new baby, & came back brown & happy.

If grandparents are happy & willing & capable of having the children it does everyone good.

I agree that its a great idea, my parents live too far to make it practicalfor me but they have one of their other grandchildren to stay quite regularly - she has special needs so it gives her parents a much needed break and both grandparents and grand-daughter have a really lovely time together.

I used to spend Mon-Thurs with my grandparents every week when I was 2 - my mum was widowed young (since re-married) and I lived with DGPs during the week while she worked and went home at weekends - I always had a wonderful relationship with my DGPs and I value those happly memories.

summ1 I think it's a brilliant idea. I keep meaning to do it myself but worry that I would miss dd too much. Left her there for a night recently and had a wonderful night away in a hotel.

Also give the grandparents so much pleasure and helps them have a better relationship with their grandchildren.

If you are worried that a week is too long, why don't you go down and stay the weekend, then leave her for the week and pick her up the next weekend? but sounds like a great idea, go for it

sympathies kmg & wickedstepmother, i'm sure you have a good network of support around you and things get easier soon.

I'm really pleased that all the comments have come back positive and i really think it would be great for ds, he loves him gramma, they have a fab relationship & rest of my family are down there too, I think dh is being to protective but trying to convince him its a good idea is hard, he says ds is to young cause of the distance. will keep trying to convince him otherwise, I have two weeks before my mum comes up!