I am worried about my Granny having to move in to a home

[MaMight]

My Granny currently lives alone. She is not really managing any more. Her physical and mental health are deteriorating fast.

Everyone is saying that the best thing would be for her to move in to a home.

This really frightens me.

She would have no family nearby to visit and check she is being looked after properly. She would not be capable of telling anyone if she were not being looked after well.

I have heard such horrid stories about lack of care in residential homes for the elderly. I know that many homes have a very high staff turnover, and often emply people who are doing the work as a job for the money, not as a career in caring. My Grany would be a prime candidate for negligent care or worse abuse.

I have said that she can come and live with us, but we are outside UK and she may not manage the journey, plus she would be removed from everything and everyone she knows. Also, medical insurance is a massive stumbling block. We are looking in to it.

There is no money to pay for a super duper home. She would be in whichever state run home she was allocated I guess. Does anyone have any advice, or experience of older relitives in homes?

I feel for you. I wish that when my grandma visited me 9 years ago I had kept her here.

Did she live in a home?

My 88 yo Uncle lives in a council run home now. He has been there 2 years and it has saved his life and taken YEARS off him. He has 3 meals (wth choices) and supper, someone to remind him to take his medication, clean clothes and bedding, a private room with en-suite, company when he wants it, privacy when that appeals. He goes on bus trips, to the theatre, out for a walk most days. Entertainers come in once a week and they have old films on the big screen TV. He attends keep-fit and tai-chi and bingo sessions. The barber, chiropidist, optician and dentist all visit. They have even organised special shoes to help him walk better.

Staff are just great, most of them are local people, some of whom I know from school etc. Relatives can be fully involved and help with raffles and bingo to raise funds for outings and Christmas parties. The home always gets a glowing report. The only problem is you have to wait for someone to die before a place becomes available and they all seem to live forever.

Of course they live forever - they are looking after them.

It sounds lovely - why can't there be more like that.

That is a very positive story Granny23. Thank you for sharing.

If you aren't able to check regularly the only other option I can think of is taking extra care when choosing where she goes.

Talk to people who work there, people who live there and maybe even their families.

Looking after someone can be quite a task and if you decide to try and get your mum to live with you, you may have a hard time caring for her.

Most local authorities will start by trying a package of care on a daily basis to keep the person living safely in their own home.
This initial period may be free, during the assessment period (usually about 6 weeks)
This POC is then means tested,and usually if she has more than around £24000 in savings, excluding the value of her home, she will have to pay for her care. Costs vary around the country but average between £10 to £18 an hour

Things like a meals on wheels and encouragement to use day centres etc may also be suggested.

In addition small pieces of equipment may be supplied , such as grab rails and raised toilet seats, to minimise risks of falls at home.

If your Gran continues to struggle at home a residential home or nursing home may be the next step.

If she owns her own home, and lives in it alone, she will be self funding her place, i.e. either sell the property or raise an income from it through rental.

She will cease to be a 'self funder' when her capital approaches around £24000, but again this figure varies around the country.
And then the local authority should take over paying the fee.However if the LA is paying the fee her chosen home may not be one with which it has a contract and she may either have to move or the family may have to pay the difference between the LA contribution and the actual home's fee.(It's called topping up)

She can expect to pay anything between £400 to £1200 a week, agian depending on the area she lives.

As you probably know both political parties have made care for the elderly a big issue, so things will probably change over the next few years,

You should also look at www.cqc.org.uk which inspects all care providers in the UK, including care agencies and homes.

Finally, but most important of all is what does your Gran want to do?

Unless there is very clear evidence to the contrary it will be assumed that she has the mental capacity to make her own decisions, despite what ever others,no matter how well intentioned, think is best for her.

hope this helps