Asians have moved into our 'white' street............

[Raspberry]

...........and I'm not sure how to approach making fiends, advice please........

We live in a very boring, suburban, middle class, 'white' area, so it was a welcome surprise when an Asian family moved in three doors down. Better still, they have a ds about the same age as my ds 2yrs. It could be so nice for him to have a friend from a different culture to the narrow one he has now. (Me and dp are both from much more diverse backgrounds than where we live now, but we were kids then and it was easy to make friends.)

You see I don't want to be pushy, I don't want to offend them or their religion either. She appears not to speak english also, the little boy does and so does the father. I'm not sure where they originate from ethnically or religiously too. I hope this makes sense...

Any advice?

Not sure if this is a hijack (sorry of it is!) but I was working for my MIL last year in the golf club that she stewards and always, always the daft old duffers would end up muttering about something they'd read about asians in the Mail. It was so daft and ignorant it was pointless challenging them.

One of their pops was that if one of them moved into 'their' street it would bring the house prices down. Daft b'stards!

Hello there. I am of Indian origin (but born in London).

Does the lady wear Asian or Western clothes? If it is Asian dress then she is bound to be more traditional.

You say she doesn't appear to speak English I would say that she has recently (in the last few years) come over from her country - maybe an arranged marriage?? Perfectly normal in our culture. I might be wrong though.

Her cultural outlook will probably be very different from yours so socialising will be tougher than you usually find.

Your best bet in getting to know her is your DS. Perhpas you could prepare a little info pack telling her where playgroups, playgrounds, parks are in the area. Just an idea.

As for dress - that is a tricky one. People from Pakistan would dress very similarly to people from India - excluding the very relegious based dress.

Saris, Salwar Kameez (those long tops and trousers) are pretty much worn by both muslims and Hindus. So I can't really help you there.

To be honest I wouldn't worry about offending them. I am sure that any friendly gesture and welcome will be more than appreciated .

Just be friendly, and it should all be fine

Good luck raspberry. Like the others said any friendly gesture is likely to be well received.

I saw your thread title and momentarily panicked about what I was going to read. Thought it might be Alf Garnet posting!

HMC - I have to confess I momentarily panicked too - already had my 'talons' (as DH calls it LOL) out ready to attack

HI there rasberry -- I'm the other way round, a foreign English (caucasian) woman living on a street in Kuala Lumpur. One of my neighbours came round to say hello and I was delighted. Don't think ANYTHING she could have said or done would have offended me.
If you're a little nervous about knocking on the door, and haven't had a chance to meet them in passing, perhaps you could put a note in the letter box explaining who you are and inviting them for a cup of tea, so your children could meet and play? If you are worried the wife won't be able to read English, you could put a photo of your family in there too, so that your new neighbours know who you are.

Our new neighbours are Asian. They are here with HSBC bank, from Pakistan for 6 months - the man is being trained for the call centres there, all sorts of positions, etc. in them over there.

The father speaks excellent English. The mother speaks no English. They have two children - a girl about 7, a boy about 4. The eldest girl speaks really good English; the little boy some but very limited.

My DD is 3yo and speaks only English. Yet, they have played happily together on the terrace a few times now. The children love the chance to play with all DD's toys as they have only a select amount here, provided by the bank. The little boy loved DD's bike! We have also chatted to their father; DH a lot. I have said hello and passed pleasantries with the mother.

We did this in exactly the same way that we would if it had been a white, or other, family. Obviously conversion is limited with the woman, but we try as best we can.

TBH, the apartments here are not that chatty. We say hello to neighbours and not much more. The communication with this new family is the furthest we have managed with anyone!

I don't know if it's easier for me because I'm american.

I used to live in a very mixed area, and I just chatted to the moms, regardless of burka or whatever else they were wearing. The thing is, most cultures are more forward/direct than English, so they won't take it badly you just saying to them "Hello! I see you've just moved in, how are you finding the area?" Or, "Isn't your little boy cute!"

If they don't speak English they'll smile banally, if they do speak English & they aren't distracted, they'll chat back.

One thing I've found, women don't speak to strange men in conservative muslim cultures, you speak to the women folk instead (& your husband speaks to the menfolk). We had a muslim family trying to buy our house, and even though we knew the wife (rarely out in public without a veil) made all the financial decisions in that household (I was friendly with her sister, who had just walked up to me years earlier to ask about our house when we had just bought it), all the negotiations were done thru our husbands. Quite funny, really.

My ex boyfriend was a muslim and when we went to visit friends of his

I would be in one room with the wife and children and he would be in another room with the men.

I really liked his friends and their wives

It was just a different way of doing things really.