We are hoping to adopt.

[breeze]

After the birth of my DS 3.5, I suffered severe PND, which became so serious that DH decided to have the snip. We both came to the conclusion that it would not be possible/practical to give birth to another child especially as I never wanted my DS to see me the way I was years ago, it would destroy me and I had no guarantee that it wouldn't happen again, infact high odds that it would. So we decided that was the best option.

I was always a little sad that he would be the only child, but we managed to convince ourselves that he would be fine, but about 12 months ago my Dh and I discussed this and had other things going on and decided to put them on the back burner, but while Dh and I had some time away alone last week we really discussed the matter in full and decided that yes we wanted to go ahead and see if it would be possible to adopt.

I know a few people that were adopted, but they were the only children, and we are thinking of adding to our family, I just wanted to know if there is anyone out there who have either adopted or have had their brothers or sisters adopted and how well they settled in etc etc.

Also hoping that my PND will not effect our chances of adopting.

I know we have a long 2 years ahead of us, but feel we have the love to offer another child, that would also be company for our ds aged 3.50.

TIA

I think it's a wonderful idea and I wish you all the luck in the world!

I don't have any advice for you though... I don't have any real experience of it.

I was adopted as a baby but was an only one. The woman I sit with as work was in a similar situation to you, they had a daughter and when she was around 5, adopted a two year old boy. Both are now adults but (not sure how to phrase this) she has two children, not one and one adopted. I am sure that this would be your attitude too. The ds settled in very well as they had quite a long getting to know you time, but I suppose that would depend on how old the child was, I think they had the same problems with dd as everyone else has when they get another child regardless of how they get it! She was a bit jealous and bit more demanding but as I say that happens regardless of whether or not the new one is adopted. I think its a fantastic idea, wish my parents had adopted another after me, it will be a long struggle for you with lots of crappy red tape to get thru, but you have on your side the fact that you are already a good mum and dad to ds adn are able to offer a loving and stable family enviroment to a child. Good luck, keep us posted.

Thanks lilibet, yes if and when we do adopt I will have 2 children, DS will be 5 in 2 years and hopefully we will be able to adopt a chikd aged about 2.

My friend's brother is adopted. I knew her for years at school and never realised, he was always her little brother as far as everyone was concerned. He even looked a bit like her. It was only when I was looking through one of her photo albums with her that I noticed a picture of her as a little girl with her brother aged around 9 months - underneath it said 'the day we brought home xxx'. I asked a stupid question like where had he been or something and she just said that he was adopted. He had always known but was so much part of the family that no-one even thought about it.

My s-i-l is adopted and has two siblings (my husband and his other sister).

She has never been treated any differently to the others and I know dh considers her to be his sister just as much as the other one.

She has had quite a few problems, but the family have stuck by her throught thick and thin (v difficult sometimes!) and she has now come through them and is doing really well. I don't think that she has any issues about being adopted, I did once ask her if she ever thought about finding her birth parents, she said when she was 18 she thought about it and even got as far as finding out what her mother's name was what she did etc, but decided not to bother as she considered her adoptive parents to be her parents and she couldn't see what difference it would make meeting her birth mum.

She is the oldest child so not quite the same situation as yours.

Thanks for sharing your stories

The more the hear the more certain I am that it is right for us.

you go for it girl!!

Update, Saw the lady from the adoption team on Friday, she was really lovely (was adopted herself), answered lots of questions and gave good advice.
Turns out that the fact I had PND won't harm our chances at all, I have been off them for coming up to a year now.
She was also positive about the fact that I will be staying home to look after the child.
Also enchoraged that I had been a nanny for a while as well as having own ds had parenting skills.
Nothing she had said put dh or me off, infact even more destermined this is what we want. Now just have to fillin more paperwork and await the course.

So pleased to hear that the meeting went well Breeze. I have been following this thread with interest but haven?t posted as I have no personal experience of this to be of help. We have discussed adoption at length and have decided to return to it after our next child is born. Even before we were married we talked about hoping to have 1 or 2 of our own and then adopting a third if circumstances allow. I dearly hope that we can follow this through as it seems the right way for us to complete our family.
For what it is worth, I think you are doing a brilliant thing and hope that the paperwork goes through easily and quickly for you. Good Luck

any more news Breeze?

Hello, we have a meeting to go to, sort of like induction meeting on the 15th October. I am having a few health issues at the moment, but hope I can still make it.

What a great idea - hope it goes well for you.

Oh Breeze I hope it all goes well for you.

Good luck Breeze - I hope it goes well. Great to hear so many reassuring stories. I don't have much experience but have had a real desire to adopt for several years, born I think out of the time I spent working in an orphanage overseas. I know there are lots of issues with overseas adoption (I was working as an engineer somewhere where this was rare, so don?t have any direct experience of it) but it made me realise that there are hundreds of children out there, in our country as well as abroad, whose lives could be enriched by having a family to love and support them? so go for it Breeze. It won?t be easy but I?m sure will be worth the paperwork and the wait ? for all four of you.