Self Control - where can I get some?

[nocontrol]

Changed my name for this one due to feelings of shame.
So, here's the story. I'm overweight. We're in debt. But I can't seem to stop the patterns of behaviour that cause these things. It feels like a real vicious circle, and I just can't escape.
First the weight thing - I know what to do about it - eat more healthily and do more exercise. But I just can't get myself organised to do this. By the time it comes to the end of the day - work from 8am - 5am 3 days, and 8am - 1pm 2 days, picked kids up from daycare, go to various clubs/activities, help with homework, put them to bed, get tea for me and dp, it just feels like there's no time for anything else. And because we're eating late, there's no time to eat "proper" food, so its out of the freezer and into the oven. I know I could make a list and organise a menu, cook in advance and freeze, but WHEN? Weekends are taken up with clubs / activities, plus all the organising of day-to-day life and tbh I resent the fact that I seem to end up with hardly any "me" time. So I sit here making excuses, but can't drag my flabby arse off the chair and into some sort of exercise. I've got plenty of excuses for not joining a gym - I feel too self conscious about my body, am blind as a bat without my glasses, but they steam up (sounds and looks funny, but is a real pain) when I exert myself, can't afford it, etc....
And so to money - dp and I both earn good wages - so why are we in debt? We are in the process of consolidating by remortgaging, which is obviously a positive step, but I'm terrified that we'll fall into all the same spending habits again and be in the same position within a year. I know that we need to budget, I use Microsoft Money, I've got spreadsheets galore with facts and figures on, but at the end of the day, it doesn't stop me seeing something I want, and buying it, thinking "it'll be OK". I resent the fact that to stick to a budget, I need to really keep on top of it every day, another thing to take up my time and energy in the evenings. So I end up putting it off, and the problems stay the same.
I'm excellent at plans, am generally well organised, and usually throw myself into these things with lots of enthusiasm at first. So my question is, where do I find the motivation to keep on top of these 2 areas of my life? How do I make myself carry on with the menus / exercise / budgeting once the novelty has worn off (about 1 week)?
Sorry for rambling on and on, I'd be really grateful for anyone's comments / ideas / kick up the arse.

Do you have to do all this rushing around to clubs?

Well, maybe I made it sound worse than it is - we have ballet, gym, swimming and art club. But they're either at weekend, or on my 1/2 days, so even when there's less working time, there's something to fill it.

You need us to keep on at you?

At the end of the day, you have to believe in the things you want to do or you won't get out of your old routine. It;s one thing to know that (say) eating 5 portions of fruit and vegetables a day is good for you but quite another to change your whole comfortable, well worn routine to do this.

Take small steps. Tackle one small thing that you want to change at a time and keep at that one small thing until it becomes part of your routine. Then move on to the next little thing. If you try to change everything at once or something that's too big, you don't stand a chance

It can be hard to take control sometimes, especially when you are used to seeing yourself as someone who is not in control.

I don't really have any practical suggestions, but I recently went on a STEPS course (VERY American and cringey) which actually was excellent. The central message was that we are what we expect to be - if we think we are fat, lazy and eat too much, then sure as anything we will be fat, find it hard to manoevere out of the armchair and constantly eat. If we think we are bad at managing money and are always overdrawn, then we will make sure that whenever there is extra money in the account we will go and spend it - and a bit more. Because if we know these things about ourselves, then they must be true, mustn't they? After all, nobody knows us as well as we know ourselves....

So the central thing is to change the way you think about yourself. The course actually makes you make "positive affirmations". You have to say to yourself, 5 time before you go to sleep, for example, "I love the feeling I get when I have been to the gym","I really enjoy eating lettuce and carrot juice", "I feel confident now that I am in control of my finances". It is really cringey and, as I say, feels really American - but it DOES work! I no longer have to do the 10 minute key hunt EVERY time I try to leave the house, because I don't lose things any more.

Don't know if this will help you at all....

well if you want a bit of me time, could you find an hour or so once a week and go to weight watchers? maybe taking control of one part of your life and feeling positive about that will help you get the rest of it into a bit more control. and it helps to do these things in a bit of a structured way, with support from others in the same boat. just a suggestion...

For a bit of motivation to do a little exercise, you could also join the 50 situps a day club here