To my stepdad:
"I love you to bits but every time you get going on how much you hate Bill Gates and Microsoft products you make all our ears bleed! Bloody shut up about it already! Bill Gates is not going to go away!! Live with it!! All your computer equipment is by Apple at this point, so WHY DO YOU STILL CARE??? And btw, swearing in your very German accent does not emphasize your point, it just makes me want to PMSL. "Schittttttttttttt!" just sounds funny, sorry!"
To my friend:
"When I gave you all those baby clothes, I did not want them back - which you knew! You know we aren't having any more and you also know how little time I have. Dumping four mahooooooosive bin bags of baby stuff in front of my door so I had to haul them into the garage to get them out of the currently incessant rain did not make me happy!! Nor does the idea of taking time out of my ridiculously busy day to find somewhere to donate them, when you told me you recently found a women's shelter to donate that sort of stuff to, and went there yourself just last week!!!"
To another friend:
"Ok, so I asked you a favour which you did not want to do (even though you previously said it was no problem ). Dressing me down in an email for it was Very Uncool and has really put a damper on what I considered a potentially very close friendship. I am not 6 years old and do not need to be treated like a socially backwards child. Simply saying, "you know, I don't think I want to do that and here's why" would have been much simpler. Saying no without coming right out and saying it means I missed the fact that you actually meant no, and that's why I persisted - prompting your very unpleasant email. And not acknowledging my very sincere apology in any way whatsoever means it now lies between us like the proverbial elephant in the living room."
Phew, that's better.