If you work, how many hours a day do you spend with your children?

[oliveoil]

For me it's 45 mins in the morning and 2 hours at night, which is probably about average.

Which are usually a frenzy of feeding/bathing/cajoling and whinging.

I work 6 hours per day so get 2 hours in the morning and 3.5 hours in the evenings so not too bad really. I'm very lucky.

monday to friday - 10 minutes in the morning cuddling in bed, if he wakes up before my train, otherwise zero

about 45 minutes in the evening for book, bath, bottle and bed, as long as the Thames Link actually links and I don't miss my evening train

saturday and sunday - as much as i can possibly fit in - 7 am to 7.30 pm constant playing, reading, sleeping, feeding, laughing, chasing, tickling .....

yes expat, not enough, never enough, but i'm the sole wage earner, so there's no choice

I work from home. So I get a couple of hours in the morning (depending on what time they get up) 7-9PM then they go to school and playgroup, and then I get from 3PM-7.30PM - their bedtime.

I also get lunchtime with my dd on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, as she only does playgroup mornings on those days. 12PM-1PM, then she has a nap while I work a bit more in the PM, until 2.50PM, when it's time to collect ds from school.

So 6 hours a day and 7 hours with DD midweek.

Its awful isnt it, i get about 45 mins in morning and 4-5 hours in the evening and thats only beecause dd doesnt go to bed early. Ive just reduced my hours by 25% as I feel tired and the time I have isnt quality time. Ive been teaching other peoples kids all day and then feel too tired to play with my own. Anyway moan over as i'm now on summer hols.

My actual presence in our house while kids sentient:

-Zero in mornings, except for dropping one kid at nursery at dawn mon and tues, which is a nasty stressful job I hate, hardly "quality time".

-2.5 hours evenings, mostly taken up by nanny, meal and bathtime struggles and DH walking in halfway through so marital struggles too!

Actual time spent PAYING ATTENTION to one kid has increased slightly as I now have established the habit (on advice from a childcare expert) to spend 15 min most nights in a separate room with the schoolchild to do her reading with her. DD2 age2 gets the odd cheering on session or brief story when she sits on potty... you don't get somethin' for nothin' from mummy, you gotta work! Is this sad ? Or character building? (for whom?) is this in any way able? At least it's better than a few months ago when they got no attention from me at all. There is a learning curve in here.....

Depends what time they wake up (and if it's VERY early, then I may be 'with' them - i.e. they are in my bed - but only in a physical sense... mentally very likely to be elsewhere!), but on average about 2-and-a-half hours in the morning and 2.5 to 3 hours in the evening. On Fridays I normally manage to get back from work in time to pick dd1 up from school at 3.10, so it's longer then.

Phew! I thought that this thread was going to make me feel horribly guilty, but it seems I'm pretty 'normal'.

When I worked full time, almost no time in mornings - dh did mornings and nursery drop off. Was in the same house as ds for an hour or so but rushing to get washed/dressed etc. etc. so not really paying him full attention.

Would collect from nursery at 6 so then 1 1/2 to 2 hours including bath and bedtime. Found it very stressful because all my time with ds in the week was very task-orientated - almost no time just to be with him chilling out or playing.

Maybe partly because I hated my job though - if I'd been in one I enjoyed maybe I'd have been less stressed and a bit more relaxed in the evenings. I couldn't leave behind the 'rush to leave the office, feel guilty about that, rush to get train home, stress if it's late, rush to nursery, rush home, feel guilty if not in bed by 7 (which was impossible)' etc, etc. etc. etc.

Have now gone freelance and part-time. Scary but so much better for me as ds's mummy (and hopefully better for him too). Mind you, can only do this because have redundancy money as a cushion (I'm the breadwinner).

Oh no I don't 'do' guilt Ellbell, I am just being nosy and curious. Most people on here seem to be happy with their lot.

What is interesting, and how this thread came about, was that I was talking to dh about it and he said that most men only see their children for a few hours (at most) a day and yet there aren't articles critising them in the Daily Mail etc about being 'bad' parents etc. Why is it different for women?

oh oliveoil - very good point
dh and i have swapped roles, so i'm working and he's at home - but still, i get the "why are you at home?" query all the time

Work four days a week so in the mornings spend about 75 mins with the boys but this is usually full of breakfast, dressing, teethbrushing, looking for football stuff etc. Evenings about 90 mins which is slightly less manic but does have to include bath/shower, reading, story time, catch-up on the day etc. Still probably not enough time but what can you do?