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Original poster

Giving and Taking on Mumsnet

14 replies

Earlybird · 13/12/2009 11:38

If you have received support, helpful information, sympathy, advice etc on Mumsnet, do you feel some sort of - i don't know the right word - obligation, or sense of fairness/decency that says you should 'return the favour' by helping others when they come here looking for advice?

Is there a general unspoken 'social contract' for the Mumsnet community that implies you should (if possible) contribute advice/support, as well as receive it?

Why or why not?

OP posts:

lsa2 · 13/12/2009 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trice · 13/12/2009 18:15

I feel an obligation to help those who need help full stop. It's not some contract thing, it's a human thing.

BitOfFun · 13/12/2009 18:18

It's a nosy thing for me- I can't help but stick my beak in, wanted or not...

StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2009 18:19

If I know the answer to something I enjoy helping - love the feeling I might have made someone's life easier.
I still get tears in my eyes when I remember 'the answer' on my "how do I get felt tip off varnished wood?" thread. It was by nancy something, and saved my life from a nagging DH

badietbuddy · 13/12/2009 18:20

Ooo stealth, what's the secret? I have a teeny bit of felt tip on our floorboards that has me stumped

Tortington · 13/12/2009 18:21

i don't often give 'advice' i don't think. i consider it giving my opinion, which can be taken in conjunction with other opinions and help the OP come to a decision.and mosty what BOF said

StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2009 18:22

perfume on a tissue - try on a hidden bit first!

Fruitysunshine · 13/12/2009 18:22

I rarely get a response the the majority of my threads but I usually try to help others on a regular basis.

ladytophamhat · 13/12/2009 18:25

stealth does that work with biro as well?

in answer to OP I don't think there's any feeling of contract, it's just what you do - MN is there if you want to support or if you need support.

ThumbleBells · 13/12/2009 18:25

I am too instructive for my own good and love being able to use MN for an outlet for that (although I do try and couch it in gentle terms, usually!)

I have had good answers on here when I have asked for help, but I mostly post on other people's threads, so I think I have "paid my debt". Having said that, I do love it when I am able to give someone an answer to something that is just right for their circs - and they say thank you for it - I get a nice warm fuzzy then. We should all have more warm fuzzies in our lives, I believe.

badietbuddy · 13/12/2009 18:27

perfume on a tissue?? Will give it a try

StealthPolarBear · 13/12/2009 18:30

sorry, no idea about the biro - not needed that yet

flowerybeanbag · 13/12/2009 18:34

If I give advice or opinions it's not because I feel obliged to because I've had advice myself, it's because I like to help people if I can. I don't post for advice that often, but I'm always really pleased if people respond, as they invariably do, and in fact did today.

LowLevelBahHumbug · 13/12/2009 18:36

Interesting...I do think it's only fair to give something back every once in a while. I love a good lurk and I've learnt an awful lot by reading here, but if everybody just lurked, there would be nothing to lurk on!

But I tend to only post if I have something new to add; usually, there are several people who get there before me so there is no need to clog up the thread. I also think that if you're responding to a very personal or distressed OP, then you need to be able to commit to see it through and I don't often have the time to get engaged in anything longer than a quick comment.

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