I really don't have a life of any interest to anyone but me!

[mears]

You know I really feel I need to do something with myself. I have no outside interests other than work and midwifery related issues. I hardly ever read a decent novel. I am usually up to my eyes in government policy documents regarding healthcare. I am doind maeters in midwifery and I cannot get motivated to submit my last assignment. I spend quite a bit of time here when I should be doing my masters assignment.

I have no hobbies or outside interests. I don't meet anyone for lunch or coffee anymore. I work full-time including nights and weekends. Very antisocial. When I am off i am ferrying children here and there.

A friend has gone to London to do the Moonwalk and I am now thinking I should do something like that. I need to something completely different.

Should i start by exiting from mumsnet?

NO! to last bit.

re your last question: you could, but there's no guarantee that the void will be filled by something interesting/worthy.

Many of my nights off from mn are filled by lying comatose in front of the telly.

Anyway you do need to do something, I agree. Can you arrange a regular coffee morning/afternoon every 2 weeks or something? I say coffee morning because that is the most immediately rewarding of all of your suggestions (good novel, hobby etc) and is more likely to spur you on to do other things.

Then I suggest you get down to a bookshop and poss to the local adult ed centre to look into short courses (ours used to run really good one-off craft days every couple of months, for example. I did felt making.)

Gawd, I know what you mean Mears. But I do think you're doing a lot already, given that you have 4 children, a job AND are doing a masters. I do think mumsnet is a stealer of time - I have several projects in mind atm but the only way I'll even start any of them is to get off here tbh! And I do know this so am gearing up to get off here and start at least one of the projects. What do you want out of this 'something' though? I think you need to be clear about that before you decide really. Is it to contribute to society? (although I'd say you're already doing that big time through your job) To do something just for you? To learn something? Establish why first and that should help you with the what I think.

I felt the same work full time, 2 young kids so very little free time for me... or so I used to think until I did the Life Audit (a book) and realised that I actually do have some spare time and could use it to do things for me and not the family... I work in an office and so have decided to challenge myself by volunteering to work as a volunteer for a charity looking after people with a terminal degenerative illness totally out side my usual remit... but it is the first small step to getting back to ME -- not me the wife, mother, worker etc..

No!!! Don't go Mears. Maybe you should try to limit it? Maybe say that X amount of time doing your masters entitles you to Y amount MNing? It is hard I think to try and fit your own life in when you are working and organisng a family. I know I don't do any of the things I used to do prekids, but I figure once the kids are older and independent I'll have years to 'get a life'!

can you schedule yourself 'me time' and spend sometime doing something completely different?

Dont leave, please. You are such a wealth of info for lots of people and you would be so missed.

Think about what you are interested in and see if you could do a course at a college PT. I tried to learn Italian.....very hard but at least I tried.

What are your interests if you had to name them?
Reading?
Cooking?
Baking?
Writing?

There must be something.

Mears, This is a bit obsessive isnt it. My DH always moaning about MN. Because I thought I might be carted away from social services for neglect of my DS, I decided that regardless of the time i log on I will only be on for an hour (ish). Try that. Perhaps you need to get away for a while to re charge your batteries.

Thanks for the posts so quickly

I think I just need to have some outside interest but TBH I don't know why! I am not unhappy but I just think I should do something more physical and fun. In the last year I have put on a stone and am now 3 1/2 stone overweight. I don't see friends I used to meet on a regular basis at things like playgroup then laterly parents association at school. My friend who has gone to do the moonwalk commented at our last infrequent meetup that I never seem to see anyone nowadays. True.

I am going to Florida in 3 weeks time and am really looking forward to spending 2 weeks with my DH with no phone and no computer. My boys are all obsessed with MSN and mobile phones. I go on at them for the amount of time they are on the computer (we have 2) but i am as bad if not worse.

Right, am going now and will see how long I last. Will try not to log on again before 11pm.

What did you do pre-marriage/children, eg while you were a student?

Why not take up browsing round shops?. I recently spent 3 hours in a bookshop - it was great!
Or learn a new skill at evening class? something creative? gardening? start going on peace demos? a choir? start going to church? sport?

Mears, if you leave MN who is going to be my informal mentor come Sept? (joking! don't get scared... )

I do know what you mean though. I heard a news item about the Moonwalk today and I thought 'I should be doing something like that' too. I think doing physical stuff is a good idea if you're feeling stuck in a rut - it seems to have a dual purpose of getting you out and doing stuff (i.e. emotional benefit) plus making you feel better bodywise. So maybe that would be the route to take?

You would be horribly missed if you left MN. How many other posters get the number of 'Calling xxx' threads that you do?!

Noooo, you can't go, Mears! Ikwym about not meeting anyone etc, I've become something of a recluse myself, but I'm okay with that. When I have a non-MN night, as often as not, I fall asleep on the sofa, so at least the computer keeps me awake.

If you fancy a pastime of some sort, what about card-making, which gives you quick results, or there's an Online Bookgroup which might give you an incentive to read for pleasure.

I'd happily meet you for lunch- might be easier for both of us in 2006 though . I feel the same , get home from work, feed the wain, feed myself and fall into bed- haven't been out with dh for over 3 years!

Have started to go swimming twice a week to try and shift a few pounds, but work often gets in the way, and I can't say I meet people...

Have tried to limit my MNing but to no avail!

Hi mears. I completely understand the feeling of just existing that comes with shiftwork, especially nights. My situation is different to yours in that I've got littlies to look after but other than menu planning and food shopping for our nurseries I don't have a whole lot else to do. At the moment I'm involved with the whole Bo thing which has now been temporarily taken out of my hands by our MP but I'm aware that I need to get out and do something else. The weight thing is an issue for me too and, as I'm not one of life's natural athletes, the urge to pull on a pair of trainers has so far passed me by. I know, however that even a walk in the evening will make me feel better but here I am, kids asleep, on mnet.

Shall we start a motivational thread to give each other (and anyone else) a regular kick up the bum to do something else. I'll join if you will And don't even think of leaving.

Don't leave!! - how about an excercise video to de-stress with. When you've finished your masters you will be able to fully relax without having it always in the back of your mind. Hope you enjoy your hols xxx

I can understand how you may feel that your life as a midwife is all consuming and by posting on here you very much take your work home. You deserve a life and to achieve your master's.

Please don't quit MN completely though - your opinion and advice is so well respected and helps more than those to whom you respond directly.

mears. You now have a 'Save Our mears' thread. We need to get together for a virtual night out. Let us know when you have an evening free and we'll all get together and put the spring back in your step.