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Original poster

I've just done something awful

37 replies

crapmum · 17/06/2005 20:21

and I feel so ashamed.

I am feeling hot, bothered and stressed. I've got an awful cough and hayfever and I feel worn out.

My baby has been clawing at my face, really pulling on my hair and similar all day. He just grabbed hold of my mouth and scratched inside and I smacked his hand way. Not hard or anything and I haven't left a mark but I feel like the worse person in the world right now.

Sorry I changed my name, couldn't stand the thought of you knowing who I was.

What can I do?

OP posts:
Katemum · 17/06/2005 21:16

They are in bed, leave them to it, shut the door on them and relax.

englishbeauty · 17/06/2005 21:23

hi cray mum. you are not crap! we have all been there, its so hard when you are tired........

englishbeauty · 17/06/2005 21:24

ooops sorry 'crap mum' - not that you are!

tabitha · 17/06/2005 21:45

Please don't beat yourself up over this crapmum (not that you are, honestly ). Like everyone else is saying, we've all had moments/days like this (I hate to admit it but I slapped dd1's leg when she was about 4 months old and hated myself for it. She's 18 now {shock] and isn't mentally scarred and still loves me (I think)
Just give him a big hug and remember 'that tomorrow is another day' and start afresh then.

mogwai · 17/06/2005 23:03

I don't know what the fuss is about.

I was smacked as a child, just on my hand at first, but on my bottom when I was older. Point is, I didn't need it very often.

Fast forward 14 years, my mother has a second daughter. She doesn't smack her and I get told off for tapping her on the hand when she puts her hands straight into the middle of my dinner.

My sister has grown up into an ill-mannered, ill-disciplined yob. This evening, like most others, she is cruising around a big city in her boyfriend's car, racing with his friends and shouting out of th windows.

I'm sorry if it's not PC, but I don't think you are a crap mum, I think you reacted on instinct, and instincts are there for a reason

WideWebWitch · 17/06/2005 23:07

Oh mogwai, please, I refer you to a load of smacking threads on here, it SO isn't as simple as that, please don't pretend it is.

crapmum, you did it, it isn't the end of the world, forget it and don't beat yourself up about it. But if you don't believe in smacking and don't want to do it, fair enough! Don't do it again, problem sorted! I do understand the temptation though.

Original poster
crapmum · 17/06/2005 23:09

I'm not sure how I feel about smacking really. Obviously I wish I hadn't done what I did tonight.

I was smacked as a child and whilst I don't feel that it has done me any harm, I wanted to do things differently. I seem to be turning into my parents, but it is so hard to change.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/06/2005 23:15

Hi crapmum, I was smacked too, not a lot, but I remember it and I don't remember a lot of other stuff so, on balance, I've decided not to smack my children. That doesn't mean I haven't occasionally lost it and slapped my ds, I have (and usually apologised immediately) but I am deepy ashamed of that and it's been a v rare occurence. I think on the whole it's humiliating for children, teaches them Do as I say, not Do as I Do, i.e. I tell you violence is wrong but um, I hit you and also, I plain don't think it works! So I am anti smacking. There have been lots of long and interesting debates here though with some intelligent and eloquent posters saying they were in favour. Read them and make up your own mind but I am anti smacking personally. Hey, if your child is v small they won't remember it and you will have learned that it makes you feel bad so there you go, no harm done, and your lesson learned!

Original poster
crapmum · 17/06/2005 23:24

In an ideal world, I wouldn't do it. My situation is far from ideal though, not making excuses, it's just the way things have turned out. I have older children as well and they have been smacked.

I'd like to change and find a more effective way of disciplining them, but it just seems so hard to do it on my own. I know I will probably have to make a huge effort and change the way I do things, just wish I had someone here who could give me a prod and push me in the right direction.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/06/2005 23:27

Start a thread crapmum, plenty of people will give you their advice. Good luck, I hope you didn't think I was patronising you, that wasn't my intention.

Original poster
crapmum · 17/06/2005 23:29

No I didn't think that at all WWW. Glad for any advice or opinions at all.

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 17/06/2005 23:29

Oh good! x

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