This is not normal...is it?

[worryhead]

I really hate being on my own for any length of time. What i mean is sometimes my dp goes to work at 6am and stays overnight, works the next day and we see him at 6 or so that evening. I think i must have an anxiety problem as i worry all the time anyway but when he tells me it's his night to be away i get this overwhelming scared feeling. I have changed my name for this as i feel like such a wuss. I have questioned myself as to exactly what i am scared about and i am scared of one of my children being unwell and having to deal with it alone. I think i am very frightened of something happening to my children and it's probably over the top, although the younger one has had a few health problems. I tend to get in such a state when they are ill that if it happens when dp is away i am doubly in a state and when he's away i am forever checking foreheads etc. if there is a slight chance that they are a bit unwell i call my mother! I know this is ridiculous, i am 28 years old. If i get a chance for a night out i won't go unless i know they are 100% well and then i worry about having too much to drink in case anything happens. I had thought about going to a hypnotherapist but don't no if this is going to help. I am just sick of this horrible feeling of dread and nerves that i carry around with me. I am always going on at dp to try and avoid the nights away which is putting pressure on him at work and i know avoidance is not the answer. But what is? someone please help!

are you depressed worryhead?i was exactly like that when i was always thinking of horrible things happening to the children,having a panic attack everytime i was on my own

I understand your fears worryhead, they are not 'abnormal'but maybe a bit excessive - have your kids ever been seriously ill ? if they have this could explain your fears. I worry a lot about my daughter ( 18 months ) although she has never been very ill, just the usual things. Why does your dp stay away from home ? perhaps you should talk to him and explain you'd feel better if he didn't, can't he go out socially but come home again, even if it's late ? and if you are still worried it would't do any harm to talk to a counsellor.

I agree with whymummy here. It could be depression. Also, my Dad suffered from panic attacks for years. He went to see a Counsellor and he's fine now.

Nothing to be ashamed of and you didn't need to change your name.... your not a wuss!!

have you tried st johns wort? it really helped with my panic attacks

... or Sepia?

That's what I take... marvellous stuff!

that means squid in spanish m2t is that what it is?and where do you get it from?

I think it's made from a toxic chemical produced by cuttlefish!! Nice.

It's a homeopathic remedy. I get it from my local chemist and it was recommended by my GP to help with my PND.

oh,yes that`s what i meant cuttlefish,i might try it,thanks!

I think i probably do have a mild sort of depression. I was depressed after i had my first child 7 years ago and i haven't been the same since although i do go out to my dancing class every week and stuff so i'm not crying all the time in a black hole of depression if you see what i mean. I do let small things rule my life and i don't have any inclination to play with my kids, i do play with them but i find it boring and an effort sometimes ( don't show that tho.) Maybe thats nothing to do with depression and i'm just not a natural mother, i wish i knew. I feel very jealous when i see how much fun my dp has with them.
I bought a homeopathic remedy last week from boots. I knew i had read on here somewhere about one for depression but i bought pulsatilla as i couldn't remeber which it was. It said take for only 5 days so i did and it had no effect. I don't think i like myself very much at the moment when i think about it.

Oh worryhead - please try sepia. it really does work.
I find it a huge effort to play with ds, but dp could spend hours playing with cars, kicking a ball or just splashing in puddles while I watch from the window! Maybe men just find it easier to tap into the child within!

Thanx mum2toby, i have been really beating myself up about this recently. My 2ds want to be with dp all the time and not me. I 've realised it's because he's more fun! I thought everyone naturally loves to play with their kids so i can't tell you how better i feel from hearing what you say. If i get sepia what potency do i take and for how long?

Me and my friend talk about this all the time too. We've just resigned ourselves to that fact that our ds's have more fun with our dp's, but when they really want a cuddle it's Mummy they run to.

Sepia comes 30c and 6c. The 30c one you take for 5 days to kick start it, or perhaps if you're worse around about the time of your period then take them for the week up to you start. My GP recommended the 6c dose for and to take them whenever I'm low (2 pillules 4 times a day... when I remember!).

Feeling for you worryhead.

Pulsitilla is good for green noses and teary children (people) so keep it in the cupboard, I use it regularly with my snotty girlies. Sepia would be worth a try, so would forking out to see a registered homeopath. I personally swear by St Johns Wort for low/sad feelings(depression!) It works miraculously.

I too find it a real effort to play with the kids, dh seems to have far more energy. Then again he's at work most days and doesn't have them under his feet all day also although he's willing to play, his attention span with them is shorter than theirs.

Don't dislike yourself, do you get enough sleep and the occasional break? Can you orchestrate this? Do you feel secure in your relationship, do you trust your dp while he's away?

Just to add to yours mumtotoby, you only need to take one pillule at a time, the amount makes no difference to the dose, ie one pillule or a whole bottle taken at the same time is one dose. Frequency is how dose is measured, so one pillule every 15 mins is 4 doses. Make sense? I think I've gabbled a bit!