Have invited ourselves to stay with very skint family. What to take?

[thatsnotmybelly]

We live abroad and are making a trip back to uk to see family. Family is absolutely skint. Beyond skint.

We aren't using them as a base, or staying with them while we get other things sorted, we are just going back to see them.

Obviously we'll take wine and cheese and chocs and flowers and 'local crap' from where we live, and prezzies for the children.

But given how skint they are, I wondered if a Mumsnetter could advise on what to take that bit extra. I'm not sure if offering cash to cover our stay would be right, but then I think I'm a bit squeamish about money and family, so perhaps it would be fine?

If we take everyone out for a meal, or offer to get takeaway in, would that be okay?

We're staying for 4 nights.

Thing is, even if we do all of the above, we will still have cost them a bit just by having breakfast and lunch and supper. I don't want to cost them money they can't afford.

'We' by the way is me, a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old.

What do you think?

My friends always ask me if there is anything I want them to pick up for me at the supermarket on their way. They also generally bring any fruit/veg/milk/bread etc that they 'had at home and needed to be used'.

My sister comes, has a rummage in the fridge then decides there is something she needs that I don't have so goes to buy it and comes back with bag fulls of stuff (inc lots of chocolate and alcohol)

Taking them out for dinner is a nice idea too, if they are broke then they'll really appreciate the treat element of it too.

my dad does this too, when he can afford to - he'll go out to buy cheese and orange juice and come back with bags and bags of shopping

I always really appreciate it and it makes big difference, especially if I have him and his partner/anyone else he has brought with him

I would do the idea of buying them lots of food to arrive the day before with normal stuff that her family will eat not just fancy stuff.

If you take her shopping with you there she might feel embarrassed about buying the cheaper stuff (I do when i go shopping with my girlfriend as we have different habits - completely) and she might not buy enough because she doesnt want to ttake your money.

I would think about what she likes and help her out that way. A takeaway is lovely but it doesnt help for long and i being skint would much prefer a weeks shopping.