Hyperactive or just 'a boy'?

[Clairgod]

How do you work out if a child is really excessively hyperactive, or just the busier end of average? My 18 month old son is at 100% between 7 and 11 most days, with a nap lasting anything between 10 and 120 minutes.
He's certainly energetic and the most active toddler I know, and now my mum in law won't have us around because of him. He's not particularly naughty- knows no and careful- he just doesn't sit at all.
We tried removing colourings etc from his diet and that helped a little.
I tried talking to my Hv but every problem ever met is greeted by her with 'are you sure it's a problem? Of course you're mum you know best!'.
I worry he will find school hard as a result, and that my 4 month old
will be pushed into the background. He's quite bright, but finds it imposible to settle to anything.

Clairgod, my little brother was a classic hyperactive child, he was always very active. He was also excessively thirsty, couldn't settle down to anything, very untidy, slow to learn stuff like tying his shoe lace, very short tempered (always having tantrums). He did however, have normal sleep patterns and did not cry excessively as a baby.
Removing colourings etc can be harder than you think - if you had left some in his diet, that would still have affected him, also he may be reacting to other substances, eg milk, eggs or soya.
It can be difficult to work out exactly what if anything they are reacting to, as blood tests are not at all reliable (it's not an allergy, the reaction mechanism is not the same, so no blood reaction).
You can get constructive NHS help in some parts of the country if you push for it. Otherwise try www.hacsg.org.uk for more info. There are also some quite helpful books around, describing case studies of common symptoms.
I've posted on this topic before on this site, but can't find my previous postings! Good luck.

Clairgod, word for word, I could have posted your question when my first son was 18 months old. He's now 7 and his liveliness is still at times a problem for us all, but he is happily settled at school and learning well.

I can't give you better advice than Sml on additives, so here are some other thoughts.

Get his hearing checked to see if the reason he can't settle is anything to do with this. And continue to keep tabs on this. My son had a mild and temporary hearing problem which definitely affected his ability to concentrate.

I found it really tricky to decide if my son was hyperactive or just lively. To be honest, the jury's still out! He did sleep well, both at night and for naps during the day. In the doctor's mind, this tended to rule out hyperactivity. We also avoided additives, but not slavishly, I have to admit.

I made a real point of gathering opinions about my son from people who had lots of experience of young children, and who knew my son well. eg: friends of the family who were teachers and social workers, also my son's babysitters. This all helped me get a better perspective on
things and get some informal support.

Just a suggestion, if you do not have a babysitter, local nursery nurses often do babysitting on the side. You could contact a local college, as I did, and find a highly trained babysitter this way who, as well as babysitting, can offer a good insight into whether your son is hyper or merely lively.

Also, if you have not already done so, ask all grandparents what you and your partner were like as toddlers. My husband was apparently just like my son. He mostly grew out of it, as my son is doing. Knowing this helped a lot.And keeping with families, are you and your partner both more active than average? Dh and I are, so how can we be surprised that our son is too?

But we still keep monitoring the situation.

He was at his most lively from the age of 2 to 3 and a half years, then he began to calm down. So perhaps you better brace yourself for an action-packed time!

This sounds just like my son! He is 22 months and perhaps slowing down a little now, although usually just settling down to do something naughty! He never sits still in one place. At our playgroup there are 40-odd kids and everyone sits in a circle at the end with child on their laps and sings nursery rhymes. Not mine, he struggles free and wanders off. I really would not worry about it at all. At 18 months they are a handful anyway and can appear even more so if they are lively. As for worrying about school - don't. This is miles off in his developmental stages and there is no reason why he shouldn't settle. You will know yourself if he is doing OK with regards to how he is playing, motor skills etc.

Message withdrawn

I agree with Bloss about the sleep pattern. A few hours after I posted my message yesterday, I did think about adding something on this, then I saw Bloss had done so. My son was usually ready for bed by 9.30 at the latest. Average bed time as a young toddler was around 7.30 to 8.30. and he woke up between 7.30m and 10.00.am (yes really!). I always made a point of taking him out each day, somewhere to run off as much energy as possible. If he had been on the go every night till 11.00, I would have have been tearing my hair out. So it that's the case Clairgod, I'd definitely think about sleep training,and/or seriously eliminating additives and seeing the doctor.

Not saying that your son is hyperactive, but if he's sleeping 11.00 to 7.00 only, plus one nap, you must be getting rather exhausted.