Hubby intending to go AWOL during summer holiday

[Queenie]

My dh, myself, dd 2.5 and ds 7 mths are going to Ibiza mid May for 2 weeks. We never had any holiday last year as I was pregnant and money was/is tight. DH has told me that he wants to fly to Seville, SPain whilst we are in Ibiza to see the Celtic football game (a big euro one he says!!!). He will have to fly on the morning of the game and return the following night as the flights from Ibiza are few and costly. I will be on my own for 2 days and 1 night. I have told him I will consider it but am a bit worried how I will cope with dd and baby in a unfamiliar place. Recently his dad died from Cancer and he was devastated as he was on his way to the airport to see him when he got the call. For this reason I don't want to cause a fuss but does anyone feel he is unreasonable or would I be for saying NO!! Incidently, he has had weekends and nights away before which is different when you are in your own environment. He went away on a golf w/end when ds was 2 weeks old and he is going away again for golf in July for a w/end and for a week in October to Florida for golf and as he works hard I accept these although the money could be used better on the house. If anyone has any similar experiences I would love to hear them.

I think you are totally within reason to say NOOOOOOOO!

What's more important? you enjoying a family holiday 'together' or a stupid football match. He'll see the match better if he watches it in a bar anyway and there will be a good atmosphere. Men and their priorities make me laugh!

if i was you ill go with him,seville is a beautiful city,you said the tickets are expensive but thats the prize my dh would have to pay to do that

Dh has done similar - went off to see a game during World Cup 98 in France staying overnight. I was left in a caravan park on Vendee - however, this was arranged before we booked the holiday and we holidayed with friends so that night my friend joined me in our caravan with all the kids. We had a full day out on our own during the holiday too.
Do you know of anyone else who could travel at the same time? Could you move your holiday date so he can travel from UK (see Ryanair are doing some cheap tickets specifically for this) and you don't get your holiday messed up.
Also, get your weekend away booked now too!!
My dh would spend all our money on holidays and football trips so we have a deal that whatever we/he spends on holidays/football we spend the same on the house or on me. Seems to work....

If it was my Dh and he really wanted to go, then I think that I would go with him, I don't think I would want him wandering around a city on his town as much as I wouldn't want to be left alone. Is this possible.

Hi Queenie, I do have sympathy with you. I completely agree that people need their own space and am all for the odd weekend away without partner but I think that if I were in unfamiliar surroundings, left on my own with two small children, I would feel quite nervous. My DH travels a lot through work but also has a couple of lads weekends each year and I have come (at last!) to realise that this is usually a positive thing for both of us - when I am at home and can do my own thing. I think I would do as whymummy and breeze suggested and save hard to go with him to Seville. That way, you'll only be on your own for half a day and get to see a beautiful city to boot! Good luck.

I'd let him go. In fact I'd positively encourage it.

Then sometime in the future I'd start talking about my plans for a weekend at a health farm, a girls' trip to Barcelona....

How much does Celtic mean to him? How often does he see them play or watch them on the telly? If it's very important to him I'd let him go - but I would ensure you get something out of the deal (not necessarily during the holiday itself).

I agree with you, I would be nervous about staying in an unfamiliar place though. What kind of accommodation are you in? Could you put the children in a creche for some of the day to give yourself a bit of a break?

Queenie I work in Glasgow. It seems that half the scheme are going to the Celtic game , most of them don't have tickets but are going to hang out in bars in Seville.

I loathe and detest football with a passion because even if you have no interest in it it impinges on your life in one way or another (in a big way in your case!). Ever tried getting ANYWHERE in the south side when there's a game on at Ibrox?? Grrr.

I do think though, that you should "let" him go as a general principle that you should encourage your spouse to do things they love and they should do the same for you.

I hope you have a lovely holiday whatever happens.

SueW - brilliant!
I really think this is what you should do, Queenie. But really do it. Book your weekend soon, before you lose your nerve. Good luck!

Thanks everyone. After consideration and your comments I am going to agree to him going but will certainly ensure I get something out of this generous gesture for years to come. He is meeting up with some "mates" in Seville so the option of me going is nil and he hasn't got a ticket for the actual game but thinks someone can get him one! We live in London (he's a glasgow lad through and through though) and he is a fanatical supporter of Celtic but he never sees Celtic play apart from Sky TV. I detest football. Once I stop bf ds I think the suggestion of a girly weekend away appeals somewhat, SueW.

I have to admit that in previous years I have had some nice aways without DH. He's never objected to my going - partly because he mainly works away M-F but also because, even before DD, we felt it was important to have time with our friends.

In fact, I had a girlie weekend away in Amsterdam less than a month after our wedding. We were applying for his post-marriage visa to stay in the UK (he's Kiwi) and when immigration asked for my passport my response was 'I will get it back before this weekend won't I, cos I'm going to Amsterdam with a friend'. Fortunately they granted him the visa anyway and they must have been right since we just had our 10th anniversary.