It's my dd's 4th birthday next week, and she's having a party (of course!), which my sister was going to come and help me with. Her boyfriend has a 6 year old son, who wasn't invited to the party, but my mother has let it slip in passing that my sister's boyfriend has re-arranged his access so that he can bring his son to the party.
Now, I have no real problem with the boy, but he's quite difficult to deal with. He has a very troubled background, his mother is verbally and sometimes physically abusive to him, and this affects the way he behaves. He's quite physical, sometimes a little violent, doesn't really play with other children (he tends to play alongside) but doesn't share well, takes toys, and is very competitive and doesn't really play fairly. While I would love to do something nice for him, I'm not sure that a birthday party full of 4 year olds (and some a little younger) is the appropriate place to do it. I'm also not sure that the activities I've got lined up for the party will be very interesting for him - I have a face painter/balloon sculptor and some simple games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey planned, but mainly I'm just letting them play in the garden, dress up, and so on, which I don't think will interest him very much.
I don't think there's a right answer, but I don't want to offend my sister. I'm not sure how to approach this, and wondered what other people's opinions might be.