What skills can mnetters offer to MI5?

[bramblebooks]

Having read this article here , obviously written by a mnetter, I am wondering what skills we mnetters can offer to MI5.

Deadly accuracy with a stickle brick in semi darkness.

Amazing ability to dress as a houri despite hair encrusted with weetabix and 3 snotty kids hanging off skirt whining for gellibaff.

Extensive network of spies, particularly for penguin based surveillance.

we could run round whitehall as a baying mob and beat anyone to death that we suspect might not be telling the truth - or wearing the wrong shoes.

The ability to survive sleep deprivation torture.

I'm sure the arts and crafts crowd would do us all some fake international passports.

Style and beauty could accessorize the school run dress so our weapons would be concealed.

I'm sure that mooncup users could develop some sort of chemical warfare.

dragonbutter - my weapons are deffo NOT concealed this morning - dh is peeing me off and deserves to suffer.

I'm only joining if there's an outfit.

silk jumpsuits?

oh gosh i frequently consider a career in espionage as an alternative to a career as mummy.

my specialist skills include

lie detection (no you HAVEN'T flushed the toilet/cleaned your teeth/put clean pants on)

location and elimination of smuggled contraband (action figures/polly pocket concealed in various bodily locations in order to be transported to school)

damage limitation (when a child is both spewing and pooing i have a finely tuned mess restriction routine)

i am also very good at planning meals when the cat has eaten the defrosting meat and the milk has gone off/dh has drunk it all.

if it is like charlies angels then count me in

My local extensive spy network is also good for 'threats' - ie 'don't forget that whereever you go, one of us WILL be watching you and I WILL find out exactly what you have done and to whom'

Flicks hair and strokes rubber wetsuit stuffed with booty.

I look like Rosa Klebb....

I could belly flop into a swimming pool for the opening titles.

Actually my extensive cocktail drinking skills might come in handy too.

I could heimlich someone. Go on. Please.

I'm with riven,
I can judge anyone at 50 paces, so wouldn't need torture or anything like that I only have to look at someone.

do you look at them 'funny'?

not at all that is my greatest skill, they never know that I am doing it... I am very talented

I saw that article and immediately thought of MN too

I have many degrees in talking bollocks; that must be quite helpful in the world of high intrigue and gadgets, surely?

When do we get to meet the sexy one who is in charge who always has a tragic past so we want to fix him?

I could blend into suburbia quite well and spot people undercover in retail situations a mile off cos i hav hawk eyes and I could save em fotunes on food expenses by way of oops stickers in asda

I would probably think I was blending into suburbia, bigeyes, but would really have my skirt tucked in my pants.

and removing toilet roll of the occasional heal wearing scenario!

There are some wicked troll hunters out there. Maybe they could do looking for concealed weapons/secrets/terrorist cells?

I wouldn't use any of the most recent trolls themselves though. They'd be caught pronto.