A friend just e-mailed me this ... I howled with laughter ... don't read it if you are easily offended!
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place in laundry basket according to lights, darks, handwash etc. Walk to bathroom wearing towelling gown. Look at womanly physique in the mirror, stick out belly, squeeze legs/bum to
show cellulite and complain and whine about getting fat.
Get in shower and wash hair with cucumber and lamprey shampoo with
added vitamins. Condition hair with cucumber and lamprey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil and leave for 15 minutes. Wash face with apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw. Wash entire body
with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse off conditioner, shave armpits and legs, consider shaving bikini line, but decide to get waxed
instead.
Turn off shower.
Spray mould spot with bath cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry hair with towel the size of a large African country. Return to bedroom wearing long
towelling gown and towel on head. Take one and a half hours to get dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothing while sitting on the bed and leave in pile on floor. Walk naked to the bathroom.
If wife sees....wave knob at her and shout "Wha Hey". Look in mirror
and suck in gut to see manly physique. Admire size of knob in mirror,
scratch bollocks, and smell fingers.
Get in shower. Wash face. Wash armpits. Laugh at how loud farts sound
in shower. Wash balls and surrounding area. Wash arse leaving hairs on soap. Shampoo hair and make into mohican hairstyle with shampoo.
Pull back curtain to look at self in mirror then piss in shower. Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain was outside bath
as usual. Partially dry off. Look at self in mirror, flex muscles, and
look at size of knob AGAIN. Leave shower curtain open and light on.
Return to bedroom towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel and shout "Yeah Baby", thrusting pelvis at her. Put on yesterdays clothes and pants.
He he he