Secrets!!

[Boo2]

I wonder if anyone out there can help!! A little background info first I think. I am a single parent with a son who is now 8, I have been with my current partner for six and a half years and it is great, he is really good with my son, but recently my sons grandparents (biological father's parents) have been encouraging my son to keep secrets from me (not big secrets, but it makes me wonder) they have also been mentioning their son in front of my son but it was agreed that they wouldn't. I don't know how to handle this, I want to tell my son the truth but not the whole truth, the reason being that I was physically abused before, during and after my pregnancy, hence I am no longer with this ex-partner.

Can anyone help??

Boo2 - oh that is a tough one. How is your relationship with the biological grandparents? If it is OK then you really need to talk to them and explain how you feel. Your son should not treated this way - sounds like they are using him to a certain extent against you. Not much help I am afraid but I really feel for you and hope you can get this sorted out

My relationship with the grandparents is absolutely fantastic, they help me financially and treat both myself and my son to holidays etc... but I do feel that they are trying to tell my son about their son but giving an illusion of their son being an angel rather than the devil himself.

My relationship with the grandparents is absolutely fantastic, they help me financially and treat both myself and my son to holidays etc... but I do feel that they are trying to tell my son about their son but giving an illusion of their son being an angel rather than the devil himself.

BOO2 that sounds really terrible. From what you have written it seems that your Ds's GP have been very supportive of you up to now so why not speak to them about it and find out what it is they are trying to do first. This way you will be properly armed and can tell them exactly how you feel about it - laying down the law if necessary.

Boo2, it's got to be hard for them know what their son was like, maybe they are trying to salvage him in the eyes of their grandson. It still doesn't excuse what they are seem to be doing though, I agree you need to talk to them to find out what their agenda is, hopefully it will boil down to a misunderstanding.

I think you need to decide what message you want to give your DS about his dad. He is going to ask questions and you need to make sure that your and his GPS responses are consistent.

I assume that he has nothing to do with his dad, but sees his GP's - this is a very strange situation to be in and he is going to wonder why.

Maybe now that your son is 8 they have "forgotten" that their son abused you. I think too it'd be a good idea to have a very straight talk with them and tell them your son tells you everything etc. Good luck, it's a difficult one.