Would you let a 13 year old babysit your children?

[Linnet]

In Desperate Housewives last night Lynette was on the phone to her babysitter trying to get her to come babysit instead of going to the mall.

She said "you're 13 there will be other trips to the mall"

I know that in the states a lot of people get young girls to babysit, it seems to be the done thing to do there. I take it it's not against the law for them to babysit at such a young age.

But would you feel comfortable leaving your children with a 13 year old in charge of them?

It got me thinking and I wondered about other peoples views.

I certainly wouldn't leave my children with a 13 year old in charge. But that's just me, my cousin is 13 this year and she's desperate to babysit for me, but I won't be letting her babysit until she's older.

i wouldnt let anyone babysit for my 4 year old daughter unless it was a family member or close friend. i would never let a young babysitter look after my little one if i didnt know them. besides ive had problems already with a family friend!

basically i allowed a family friends' daughter (who is 14) look after my little one who was 2 at the time and she was left on her own in her room all night whilst the young sitter invited a few boys over. my reaction- not exactly impressed! im a young mum myself and babysat for cousins at 14 but maybe i was more mature? i think this basically depends who the sitter is.

No. I wouldn't use anyone under the age of 18 (other than a family member and even then only for a very short period time during the day).

I don't let anyone babysit. Oh no, actually my sister did (she's twenty-one and is a parent) for two hours during the day one time!

Another friend has offered (in her thirties, five children, qualified child minder) and I'm considering it .

I ought to let someone, after all, I think DH and I really are due an evening out.

Neurotic? Me?

As for a thirteen year old, I honestly can't imagine letting a child mind my children, nor can I imagine placing the responsibility of my children's care in the hands of someone that young. When my children are a bit older (one is 3, the other 8 months ATM) I will probably be more comfortable about someone minding them occasionally.

I still think I would only be able to trust another mum though, but how on earth will I find another mum that's free of an evening?!

I think I might just install a bar at home and have bands gigging on the patio .

I think it depends on the children the 13 year old is babysitting. As my children get older, I am more easy about them having a younger babysitter, so would consider a 13 year old babysitter now (sensible, back up from parents, us a 10 minute walk away sort of thing). I wish the law was clearer on babysitting age, though.

Now my oldest son is a sensible 11 year old, how long need I wait till he can babysit my youngest son, now nearly 6 years old? I would love to pop out to our local pub (10 minutes away) with dh for an odd hour sometimes. I know I cannot do this at the moment, but how many more years need I wait?

No, I wouldn't really consider anyone under 18 or 19 and of course it would depend even then. I really prefer someone who is an experienced mum or grandma and who is familiar with the children.

I agree that the age of the children is probably a factor too. I baby sat for my friends children recently (her dd is around 9 I think and ds is 8). They were SO mature and sensible and absolutely no trouble. Mine at 3.5 and 6.5 still take quite a bit of work at bedtime and often have to be put back to bed and convinced to stay there at times. A 13 yr old would not be able to deal with that.

A couple of years ago a neighbour strongly hinted to me that her dd at 14 would now be up for babysitting for 'a bit of pocket money'. At that point my twins were about 18 months and older dd 4. I declined - blimey even I was having trouble coping with it all! I thought she was being irresponsible to volunteer her young dd for something like that - even if the mum was on hand, I would not have been happy to do at all.

is there not a law to not let a child be in the house on their own under 14?

Wow, you gals are really strict.

I was babysitting the neighbour's children (age 3? & 9) when I was 12. Yes it is very common to start babysitting so young in the USA, but I don't understand why, either. Do you remember that woman who tried to adopt those twins over the Internet? Previous to that they had almost been adopted by a California couple... who were infertile, and withdrew their claim on the twins when it was alleged by a local teenager (babysitter) that the husband had tried to molest her (the teenager).

And what I really thought was, HOW COULD YOU LEAVE A 15 YEAR OLD IN CHARGE OF 4-MONTH OLD TWINS?

I might leave the neighbour 14-yo girl briefly in charge of my 3yo+5yo, maybe, but not the baby as well. Not all 3. Maybe the baby on his own -- again, very briefly, I'm not sure if the local teenager knows how to change a nappy?? I would only be happy to have the childminder or someone like my MIL watching all 3 at once.

Hmmm, not sure about a 13 year old. That said, it depends on the age of the younger child and the maturity of the 13 year old. I do accept i would be responsible if anything went wrong.

oh yes, i would justgive then thekey to the cellar and tell them to kick at the door when the kids make a noise

My younges DD is 13 and I have only just started leaving her on her own for a couple of hours. I would definatly not let a 13 year old babysit.

I think it's illegal to let any kids under 14 on their own in the house and I thik they have to have an adult, ie 18 plus looking after them if you do leave them.Correct me if I'm wrong (going down the pub if I am!)

It depends on the 13 year-old.

My niece is 16 tommorow, and I wouldn't leave her in charge of my 5 y.o. ds.
But my step-daughter is 17, and has occaisionally babysat for us over the last 2 1/2 years.

So it depends on the maturity of the babysitter (and the age of the child beig babysat)

I started babysitting my younger siters for a couple of hours in the afternoons when I was 11 (they were then 8 and 5 years) and for longer periods and at night at 13 years,my sisters were then 10 and 7 years.My mum was a single parent,we finished school at 3:15 my mum finished work 5:30,home at 6:00. So I looked after them each afternoon. My mum used to go out one night in the week from 7:30-11pm and one night at the weekend from 7:30-1am.I coped well with the responsibility.
My kids are 15 months,3 and 5 years.I wouldn't leave them with anyone under 18. It is just to much responsibility for anyone younger than that.I actually gave birth to my oldest when I was 17,but I think it is different when they are your own.My youngest sister has just turned 16,she keeps begging to be allowed to babysit my kids,but my kids are still young and very close in age,I just can't hand over that responsibility to her.I have let her take my oldest out for a couple of hours on a saturday afternoon and I completely trust he with that.When she turns 17 I might consider allowing her to watch over them for couple of hours.My other sister has just turned 19,I don't trust her with them at all,I don't think she would delibrately harm them,but she has not got the comman sense needed to care for kids.
So,no I would never leave my kids with a 13 year old,but I do think it depends on the teens themselves.

I've just looked online and apparently there is no legal age restriction for babysitting in the uk - it appears to come under parental discretion.
But it looks like it might be illegal to babysit in Scotland if you're under 16.

There is no specific age in Scotland - it is very pragmatic and looks at "appropriate" care rather than at a specific age.

There was a good down-to-earth article about this a few years back in the Saturday Herald, with contributions from the Children's Society, lawyers etc. They pointed out some 16 years couldn't be trusted with your granny, whereas some 10 year olds are fine as "latch key" kids.

As well as the youngster's character, it also depends on whether they have access to a repsonsible adult close by for back-up.

I babysat as a 14/15 yo and was rubbish! I didn't know anything about children/babies though I was very responsible.

I have personally had bad experiences as a child with teenage babysitters and so would never ever in a month of sundays leave my children with them. I am in a babysitting circle with other mums who have known my kids their whole lives and even then there are only 2 or 3 that I would ask and even then that was only once the children were old enough to talk (all of them).

For me, I don't mind sacrificing going out too often for the relatively short amount of time that my children are young. I would rather have kids that moan about not having enough freedom than ones that ask why I left them with people who abused or hurt them.

Obviously, this is just my own personal fear and hang up and I have to live with it!