Do you ever wonder what you are going to do with your life when your children start school?

[Fio2]

Long title I know

But after being a sahm for 6 years nearly and I have another year at home, i just feel at a loss what to do. I keep looking through the paper at jobs and looking at college courses and nothing really inspires me. i have done some short courses and I enjoy textile work immensley but I dont know how and if I would carry that on into a prefession. I feel tied to looking after the children (even though I love them!) even when looking at other things to do. i feel as lost now as what to do as when i left school.

Does anyone else feel odd and a bit well useless, lost your identity? or is it just me?

ps. i know this is not a major problem, just want to discuss it......and wouldnt mind being bossed around as what to do

MArina DP and I both work and we have never missed a school event either.....

i'm in staines pabla and it was at the local college,i spent a small fortune on all the equipment because i was so excited and 5 days before it starts they tell me is been cancelled

a lot of working parents at ds's school can't make the day-time events - I guess it depends on what job you have

I'm hoping to retrain into the building trade, ready for when dd goes to school. Difficult to train and care for her though.

Lima I'm sure you're right but for me the flexibility of the job is a big factor in where I work. I could earn a lot more in a different industry but I work for an organisation which is very family friendly. I would say Fio that this would be an important thing to bear in mind!

Oh i just dont know what to do. I am just too indecisive. But I know I am not qualified enough to walk back into a good-ish job. Whatever i do, if I go back to work will be low paid and most probably not very flexible. Worked for a small engineering firm before doing practically anything financial/customer liason, etc etc cant go back for obvious reasons

I have looked into textiles courses and they only do costume design or fashion design . Not really interested in that kind of direction tbh. Maybe costume design at a push but I can the cost of fabric/resources for the course becoming ridiculously expensive. Plus I would have to pay childcare costs on top of that and that looks likely whatever course I choose.

I feel so defeated before I have even looked to do anything. I was even thinking of opening a book shop the other day!

and tbh it makes me feel better to know it is not just me who feels like this as I chose to stay at home and look after them and I love them dearly but I have started to feel really weird. DD is at school full time and ds goes 5 mornings to nursery and it does feel strange!

whymummy, I feel sad your course was cancelled as I know you were looking forward to it

I still have a while to go yet. My dt's are 2 1/2. I have been a sahm for 10yrs now (dd 10,ds 7)
have been wondering what I would really be able to do that would still allow me to take them to and from school, and be at home during holidays etc. I too love my children but don't really want to work with children, have had enough of that already. But apart from working in a school or playgroup what else is available?

Fio2 - is it the design angle that interests you or the making things??

If the latter, I have a friend who makes a small fortune as a dressmaker and curtain blind maker.

On the dressmaking front she only makes wedding/bridesmaid dresses as they are where the money is!

On curtains and blinds she makes a really really good profit so does a lot of these!

She is on the liberties list of approved dressmakers and gets a lot of referrals from this list.

If you want somethign more secure while you get up to speed John Lewis outsource most of their curtain making to women in their own homes. You could do a couple of years of this and get their training until you have enough experience to go it alone!

She gets a fair bit of design input too - when she did my wedding dress and my curtains/blinds she made all kinds of recommendations - quite interiory design in a way!

exactly toomanypushchairs, i do not want to work with children either hehe they cause me enough grief already

ime it's easier - sadly - to negotiate flexible working patterns once you have been working (full time) in a job for a while. nearly 1/3 of my dept work flexibly but i think most of them were here before the working arrangements changed. don't see that many jobshare ads either, so perhaps it just doesn't occur to managers until people ask for it.

yes soapbox, i do do dressmaking, mainly for the children, and curtain and blind making and upholstery type stuff. But I really enjoy patchworking/quilting and embelishment with embroidery and beadwork. I like making pictures using various textile techniques, I enjoy batik and dyeing and all that kind of thing. i just cant find anything that suits me I get a bit bored making curtains. Thinks I am a hard one to please tbh!

i know fio,i was gutted,chandra told me about doing one on the internet and i'm looking into it,the thing is i wanted to go and meet people with the same interests,get out of the house,get motivated,i don't know if i could do it from home although i have done in the past,is there anything else you like?

I think also wrt flexible working IME the more senior you are the easier it is to get away with!

I really always feel for the admin and secretarial staff I see who struggle on much lower wages and so can't afford the most flexible childcare. They rarely seem to negotiate as good a deal on flexible terms as the more senior folks around!

whymummy I know what you mean about motivation, it is so much better to go out of the house and be inspired by other and see and sense of pride in your work from others and congratulate others on their work.

Is there anything else I like? not sure really! This about what i amount to

you're right soapbox, though it's the "middling" people in my organisation who benefit the most. bosses/support people do the least amount of flexible working here.

I suppose its harder on the secretary to walk in at lunch time thinking that people will assume she's been at a meeting all morning

I too have never missed a school event - but my diary is rather full of non-descript meetings!

Sorry Fio we're hijacking your thread

You are being fussy - but why shouldn't you be - lives too short

life's top short

my tops are always too short as i am too tall and plump

Oops! Mine too - my boobs are too big

well you could do upholstery/curtain making to make some dosh (quite lucrative round here) and look out for local arts centres offering textiles workshops - we run one (very popular) course called free embroidery where you use the machine to create amazing effects. If you got really good at it you could start tutoring yourself?

I could have written that post so yes I know exactly what you mean and how you feel

maybe I'll just have another bairn - that'll stop me worrying about it (have 4 years to go TBH)

Fio2 - Could you make baby/toddler size quilts and sell them? I bet there's a market for them if they're good quality. The price of these things are astronomical in catalogues where I am sure they are not handmade. Perhaps you could offer a custom-made service to the rich folk of the country

beatie I had an idea to make childrens clothes with a embroidered label and sell them, but I dont know where to sell them or where to start. the craft fairs dont tend to do very well down here.

Enid that is a good idea, just not sure whether i could be patient enough to sew lots of swags and drapes, but I supposse it is better than working in asda or something