Any Social Workers, SEN people, SALTs etc Please - Have questions...

[ANOtherFriend]

Am posting for a friend, so follow-up questions might take a while to answer.

The story (as I understand it):

Her DS has a rare SEN, which is easily confused for ASD or an anxiety disorder. It took a while to get an accurate DX, and then to get statement etc. Statement now in place, but while being arrived at SS were involved, who sent in Homestart etc, and were having case conferences to which the mother wasn't invited. DS also regularly seeing specialist, who isn't sympathetic to mother and suggests that part of the problem is her projecting her own anxiety ().

Statement in place, DS doing well at school with one to one in place. However, mother is getting ready to leave husband after some years of abuse (mostly psychological), which would almost certainly entail moving to a different town, and is worried how this will affect DS, and how this would be viewed by the different agencies involved.

Specifically:

• Would they hold seperate LEA meetings for her and the husband. Would they want both to be there?

• Would they blame the mother for letting the situation go on so long?

• On occasion, the mother was unable to take DS to appointments due to anxiety, and H took him instead. Could H use this against her?

• Could her H say it would be damaging for DS to move schools given his statement and 1:1

• Would she suddenly get more SWs turning up on the doorstep again, insisting that Surestart/Homestart be involved?

• Finally, would your answers be different if she was a. going straight to rented accommodation, or b. going via a Womens Aid refuge.

I'd be so grateful if you can give us some clarity on the above, with as much detail as possible. I know it's a lot to ask, but she's got a lot on her plate at the moment and this would really be helpful in working out her options. Oh, and if you think you recognise any of this story would you please keep it to yourself?

Thanks in advance...

Bumping just in case

Bump?

(Sorry to bother you bump)

Your questions are difficult to answer without knowing the circumstances fully, but any prof should be very understanding of a woman wanting to leave a relationship where there is abuse of anykind;how ever long it has been going on the important thing is that she is making a change now.

It sounds like there has been concern about the amount of support that she has needed so perhaps a refuge would be helpful in this respect, I think that it probably would add weight to her 'case' if you like, but in saying that it might not be the best place for her dc depending on how dis' affects him and maybe she could benefit from some advice from a d/v worker perhaps through women's aid or sim organistaion, local children' s dis team or d/v unit within police if necessary, to help her plan what is going to be best for her ds and her.

I think the most important thing is to get support to leave the abusive realtionship.

I wish her the best of luck.

Thanks Pippo

Any more opinions before I turn in for the night?

bump

bump

bump

Another shameless bump

bump

bump

I'll post here so I can add stuff later when properly chld free.

Thanks Hobbgoblin

Another bump before bedtime

bump

Wee bump

bump

bump

Bumpity

First day back to work bump

blimey, you're keen!

imho, the most difficult thing would be the transfer of education (i'm assuming most of the ongoing therapy/ additional help is through school, not outside), so she would need to start researching which school in the new town/ area would be appropriate and visit to gauge likelihood of transferring statement.

a lot will depend upon how much help he gets in school (does he have 1-1 help at all? this will get tricksy if the new school need to employ more staff etc)

assume he has slt, as you mentioned it - most slts are allocated by school, so it might mean changing therapist etc.. it isn't clear from your OP how far they are talking about moving - i'm assuming not far. if it is further, (ie across LA boundary) the ds will probably end up going through stat assessment again by the new LA (they do not troutinely transfer a statement from LA to LA, although in practise most LAs try to provide interim support until this is done)

similarly with the health/ pct side - most paeds etc are allocated by region if you are not lucky enough to have a specific specialist, so it may entail a change of paed etd.

how old is her ds? this will obviously have some impact on choice of provision...

essentially, nothing is insurmountable - people's circumstances change. the 'old' team will do the referrals to the 'new' team, and if he is unlucky he will get tagged on the bottom of the waiting lists. i always try to get referrals done at least 3 months before we move... that way there is a chance that we won't have to wait.

i wouldn't be too worried about 'blame' etc. if the ds now has a dx, it's not (unfortunately) that rare for concerns to be raised over the parental support during the investigation phase... hopefully there will be no need for ss involvement, unless she does decide to actively seek that support.

sorry if none of this is relevant lol. i haven't got a clue who you are!

on the h side - almost certain they won't hold separate meetings - profs can barely manage to hold one meeting about a child, let alone a rerun. suggest use of advocacy or parent partnership to enable meetings to run without hindrance... maybe he could send someone in his stead if she has taken out a non-contact order etc?

if h reports her to ss, then yes, they are duty bound to follow up. but presumably she will be taking steps to legitimise her position... ie legal and arranging contact or refusing contact? it would be far safer that way tbh...

Thanks madwoman - may I call you Mrs Rochester?!

There's a statement in place for 20 hours pw, and looking at moving within the same LEA, but not possible for the current 1-1 to transfer.

She wouldn't want a no-contact in place for the children. She doesn't have a position to legitimise yet - is fact finding so she can get her escape plan together...

Thanks again for all your help.