Have just seen a neighbour throw a cat at my football

[CatAttack]

I know not everyone likes football but it was just sitting on the grass, minding its own business and suddenly my neighbour chucked a big ginger tom over the hedge and hit it. I mean it could have been badly punctured. What shall I do?

ROFL! WHAT has happened to everyone today???!!

I don't think it's a man or a computer that Bovary's got his hairy grip on...

sorry to disappoint you emma bovinery but mine's downstairs watching back to back episodes of 24 which of course I'm too thick to understand. But I can pretend he's out sleeping with hookers if it wets your whistle.

lol morningpaper!

Is it a gun?

Dontcha just love it when we get all mature?

pmsl sooo much at this thread

Hang on - there's something coming out the end...

Will you give my love to my boyfriend bovary

snafu... i couldn't bear it if i had to be mature all the time
come to think of it... i'm never mature

poor poor poor ds, i am genuinely like this ALL the time!

Well, usually I'm the very soul of maturity and discretion, starlover. I have to lower myself a few notches to post on here with all you sad thickies (as I'm sure EB would agree).

EmmaB

Let me see you off the premises, would you like to be walked to your HGV ?? Did you know that lumberjack shirts are so passé ? They went out of fashion

same time as this lot

is there something in the water today, everyone is in a bitch of a mood.
Dont get me wrong im'e not slating anyone, i think it's absolutely histerical PMSL

Emma Bovary's a slapper,
Emma Bovary's a slapper...nernernernerner...

mmmmmmmmmm its just occured to me why you are having to shag others womens men!

Cause you are a sad, ugly lonely individual

EmmaB get a grip on life and find your own man!

synchronised menstruation for those of us who spend the entirety of our sad little lives here posting total shit to strangers who don't give a fuck about us, perhaps...

I am a thickie - can't figure out how to get the chair to lower. Can't ask dh 'cos he's at work. Or maybe getting his end away elsewhere. Perhaps if EB found a decent man of her own she wouldn't have such a low opinion of men in general. Bit of a sense of humour failure going on there. Anyway, I digress. I think I'm going to go round tonight and chop all the heads off my neighbour's delphiniums. morningpaper, how did you know he has delphiniums?

it's a shame i am SUCH a thickie isn't it?
now i don't know what to do with my 10 gcse's and 3 a-levels etc etc
if i didn't have a BABY to look after i'd be able to go and get a job and be clever and not have to spend any time on the internet.
oh well!

DH and I are considering buying DS a football (honestly). But I'm worried about how to break the news to DS if the football is badly punctured by a cat. Are there any books that deal with this sort of loss?

I think it is something in the water, tiffini (MNers synchronised PMT, like nuns in convents?)
It's rather liberating posting under a pseudo-pseudonym. I can be rude and no-one knows it's me. Haha, you thickies - you all smell of cat poo

Highlander its called "How to get revenge on a cat"

I think Catattack is............. anyone wanna guess?

I think catattack might be my twin

"Your Football's Gone to the Great Pitch in the Sky, Son" by Ivor Fakediploma is excellent, and deals with the subject in a sensitive way, highlander. You can get it on Amazon I think.

cat are as evil as you lot dont you know
evil