I just got chased by 25 cows. What do they do if they catch you?

[hatwoman]

first let me establish my rural credentials. I lived in the country til I was 19. I recently moved back. I have never, ever, for one moment been perturbed by cows. I've even been known to mock townies who say stuff about cows looking at them funny.

well today, I was walking the dog and suddenly realised that the cows at the far side of the field were charging at me. all of them. I eyed up the wall to my left but the barbed wire on top meant there was no chance of escape. I suspected running would be a bad move. I thought about standing still and trying to stare them into submission but didn't fancy my chances. So I kept my cool and walked, briskly, to the stile. all the time watching 25 tonnes of solid animal thundering towards me. As soon as I put my foot on the stile they stopped. They were about 5 metres away. Shaking like a leaf and heart pounding I stood on top of the stile and told them off for scaring the crap out of me, counted them - for the purposes of story-telling - and went on my way.

What would have happened had I not made it to the stile???

oo - reminds me that I used to have a recurring dream about being chased by a herd of cows, bizarre and really frightening in the dream so must have been worse in RL! They never caught me so can't help with what they might have wanted to do to you!

Slight thread hijack but if there are any dream deciphers out there that can explain what on earth it may have signified?I'd be v interested!

That you're a mad cow?

at last, now it all makes sense - thanks rhubarb!

at Jerseys with their beautiful eyes and milk. I am forbidden to get a milk cow. Dairy farming is really hard work too.

The horrible neighbouring farmer kept a massive bull in the field beside our house and not only did it roar all day, it used to turn sideways every time I went past it. My Dad pointed out that the bull was thinking it was crushing me to death when it went sideways like that. There was only a flimsy fence between us and it.

I have a Cow Escape Plan.

I often cross a field of cows on my run. Depending on where they are standing, I establish which direction I will go should an attack occur and how prepared I am to be slain on barbed wire in the process.

DP mocks me greatly for this but my great-grandfather was apparently killed by a cow so I think I have reason to be nervous.

branflake81 - being sensible around animals is not silly.

My Dad was very seriously injured by a cow that had just had her calf. He had been with her 4 hours helping her - then she turned round and attacked him once she had given birth. He was lucky not to get killed.

Cows with calves are completley unpredictable as others have said.

but if you have to wave your hands like a windmill and make lots of noise you could say that being silly around animals is sensible...

Sorry but lol at you standing on a stile telling them off.

I got chased through a field by a load of sheep once (was about 4 months pregnant at the time). I had my FIL's barbour on, and was stomping head down through the field with my hands in my pockets (I was in a furious rage about something). Then got charged by about 40 sheep. Bloody terrifying.

hatwoman - yes thats being sensible as well ...erm ... but only if they are already charging. Not sensible though if they are stood still not bothering you. IYSWIM.

I never realised this would get so complicated. This is a bit like explaining an 'offside rule for cows'.

GetOrfMoiLand - the sheep were undoubtedly looking for food. They can get pretty rough and start barging you about when they do that. Not fun if you were pregnant.

you should have stood still. you are a coward. ha ha ha...

I do sympathise, they can be scary. But reminds me of how when I told the children I would love to see a ghost, they said ' But what if it chased you?' And I said 'It couldn't chase me if I didn't run away...'

I used to own a cow as a child but i am still scared of lots in a field running up to me en masse.

Actually I would even be scared of just one running at me!

My mum is a farmer's daughter, and from that experience she is quite wary of fields with lots of cows or especially young bullocks. If we had to walk through a group of them she would usually look for a big stick/branch to carry - I guess to intimidate them or maybe to smack them with if they got too close, but not sure as luckily we never had to use it!

No one has mentioned pigs!

They are the only animal I have ever been really close to that actually like eating people. A sow can easily bite through a man's leg if she thinks he is going after her piglets. If you were to fall unconcious in a field or pen full of pigs they would gradually come nearer ad nearer and then just start nibbling away.

OOh yes sheep can be evil too! My mums' ewes electrocuted me once. I was going to give them some water in a bucket. They thought it was food so pushed against me and I fell against an electric fence. Not good with a old metal bucket full of water I jumped about 4 foot and landed on the floor surrounded by concerned sheep. And not one of the bastards asked how I was

Hatwoman, you have nerves of steel!

And Polar Bears, by all acounts

This thread has scared the life out of me. Am v impressed by hatwoman's calmness.

Even supermarkets are not safe

www.youtube.com/watch?v=it-gPAhFq1c

It sounds like they were been curious/playing. I used to live on a cattle farm and was often stampeded by cattle, they always stopped an arm's length away and then stood there staring (and dripping snot).

However if they have calves and especially if you have a dog with you there is a danger they will see you as a threat and trample you. People have been killed by cows.

Upwind, that clip is fab

Don't have a crap in a donkey field;

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL7LXFu9Uys