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Original poster

How have you explained the facts of life to your dc?

21 replies

Boco · 15/04/2009 18:56

Because my 4 and 6 year old dds broached the subject on the way back from the zoo today, having seen lots of baby animals. I'd sort of glossed over it with 6 year old in the past, but a bit vague about the actual ins and outs.
[no pun intended}

I was driving at the time and find it hard to formulate thoughts while concentrating, so fluffed it a bit, and for some reason concentrated mainly on cattle. I'm not sure I did a good job as 4 year old's conclusion was 'Oh my goodness, you did that to daddy? Didn't he mind!?'

So, anyone got any better ways of explaining it well?

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 15/04/2009 19:24

we had a very good book here which i thought was pitched just right
however ds freaked a bit i think when we got to the actual mechanics! and now refuses to discuss it

so i think i did a great job evidently

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/04/2009 19:35

I don't have any experience, but my sister only answers their questions but doesn't elaborate any further. That way they aren't bombarded with info, but they also know they can go and ask her anything whenever they want to - iyswim. I guess that way she is taking the lead from them and when they're ready.

Original poster
Boco · 15/04/2009 19:54

Maybe I should get that book Franny. When I was little i wasn't satisfied with my mums explanations and got the usborne book about sex things which was v. interesting. Vividly remember the little pictures of genitals.

I usually do only answer direct questions, but todays questions were 'how does a cow get a baby in it's tummy?' and 'how does a person make a baby?' and 'i'm sure cows don't have eggs or seeds actually mummy, are you sure you know about this?'

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 15/04/2009 19:56

lemur has it
i got carried away and told him the whole darn lot
he hadn't asked and patently did not want to know!

ProoWhoDense · 15/04/2009 19:57

Well, dh and I have gone for the upfront forthright approach and told ds[11] to ask his grandad about all that kind of business.

Original poster
Boco · 15/04/2009 19:57

I don't think the girls believed me, they thought it was all too bizarre to be true, but that might be because I explained so badly, due to concentrating on traffic and not erections etc.

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cba · 15/04/2009 19:58

My dc had a friend over today, same age as ds1 8 years. The subject was raised and the friend went red and said to ds1 I will tell you outside.

He then looked at me and asked if he could tell him. I said i would speak to him.

I have explained to my dc that mummy and daddy have a special cuddle.

ds1 walked in on us a couple of years ago and still remembers us "wrestling" and is now starting to put things together I think

neolara · 15/04/2009 20:03

My 4 year old has "Mummy laid an egg" by Babbette Cole. It gives the basics. Your 6 year old might want more info.

ingles2 · 15/04/2009 20:03

I've just told the boys everything recently. They are nearly 8 and 9.5.
Ds1 was quite embarrassed but ds2 was very interested and asked insightful questions (not about the deed btw more pregnancy)
I'm actually worrying more about the drugs talk, when that comes.

Original poster
Boco · 15/04/2009 21:21

Lol at 'wrestling'. As long as you didn't have those masks on or anything.

OP posts:
LissyGlitter · 15/04/2009 21:33

My dd (2yo) knows that mummy has a baby in her tummy that sometimes "messes about" and makes mummy sick, and that daddy put it in there. We'll explain everything else if she asks.

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 21:38

well a coupla years ago I told DS (now 7) that Daddy had seeds and Mummy has eggs and the seed and the egg (oh you get the picture). I thought that would do it, but we have had:

  • how did he get the seeds in mum, did you eat them ?
  • I have been to xxx. Me: no you haven't. Him: yes, when I was a seed in Dad's willy, you silly mum. (this repetitively in public places of course

He won't discuss it at all now as it's far too uncool, so that'll do for the moment.

However, we have had the how many seeds, how many eggs discussion and I have been delighted to pull the old "they wouldn't ask for directions" joke on him.

Rhubarb · 15/04/2009 21:44

We were at Bristol Zoo on Easter Monday. The male Tapir had a huge hard-on. It was so obvious and it was dribbling. You couldn't say it was a tail, it didn't look like a tail, it looked like a huge pink cock.

Of course we got the usual "what's that?"
"It's his willy darling."
"Why is it big?"
"Ask your father" all in public too, with crowds of people giggling away. Not the ideal place to start telling your kids about the birds and the bees is it?

dd is 8 and does know how it all works, but I hadn't yet got onto the subject of erections. Thanks to the male Tapir at Bristol Zoo she now also knows about erections!

Original poster
Boco · 15/04/2009 21:51

Lol, funny it was going to the zoo that prompted this too. Dangerous places.

The erections only came up because dd was getting really specific about HOW does the man cow's willy go INSIDE the lady cow?

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tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 22:02

Boco

I bet that wasn't why the erections came up.

noonki · 15/04/2009 22:05

I think it is much better to tell little and often. and not do a big reveal all.

DS1 has already had the basics (daddy put a seed in mummys tummy...) he is 3. DSS was told bit by bit and still is (he is 12). He knows all the mechanics and we are all now trying to instill the moral and emotional and safety level stuff.

onebatmother · 15/04/2009 22:11

Lol tapir's cock

step 1 daddy puts a seed into mummy's tummmy

step 2 the seed gets into mummy's tummy through daddy's willy which goes into mummy's vagina. Yes! I know! It's crazy. But the vagina is very stretchy so the penis fits inside. It's so stretchy that a baby can come out the same way!

step 3 it feels nice - you might have noticed when your willy gets hard it feels nice? (I knew he had - his nursery had told us ) Well that's what sex feels like for the man and the woman.

Step 4 It feels so nice that people often do it when they like each other a lot - you know what 'being in love' means? And if they don't want to have a baby there are some things they can do to stop the seed getting to the woman's (see what I did there re mummy/woman) egg. Explain condoms explain the pill.

It's one of the few things that have gone well so far

onebatmother · 15/04/2009 22:16

The steps are not all at once iyswim. Did the sex/contraception bit about 6 months ago, when DS was just turned 7.

Since then, I've brought it up myself in limited ways, eg 'you remember when we talked about condoms? See that ad there, that's for a famous brand of condoms called durex'.

You know, v brief, no big discussion, but just so that he knows he could talk about it and I wouldn't get freaked out. He just looks reasonably interested and nods. [aaah]

Original poster
Boco · 15/04/2009 22:52

Very Good OB, much MUCH better than my not very believable cow talk which was mostly me saying 'no, not like chicken eggs...no not like daddy's runner bean seeds' etc. I think my audience was too different too, I need to have this talk with six year old, four year old's questions far too random at this stage, will try again, keeping it simple, steering away from cows.

OP posts:
onebatmother · 15/04/2009 23:55

and tapirs.

tigerdriver · 16/04/2009 00:11

lol

poor old tapirs. They sound like not quite right carpets and they look like not quite right er somethings.

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