Stopping birds from crapping everywhere...

[handlemecarefully]

All over the patio (unsightly), over the garden furniture and table (unhygienic) and over the climbing frame and swing where my lo's put their hands (argggh!)

I had to chip a hardened bit of bird crap off the swing the other day with a trowel and then follow this up by pouring boiling water over it to soften it and get the rest off.

I don't want to get a cat (because I am allergic and I live on a main road so it would be a squished cat). Any other ways to deter the little f*&^wits?

corks?

Don't be so facetious!

a netting roof over the garden

sorry

Don't gardening books talk about having CD's on strings to deter the little dears? However, you do run the risk of having people think you've gone off your trolley..........

Maybe some twirly windmills more in keeping?

Round here, they farming types go for very big crow scarer firing every half an hour (sounds like a shotgun), but might not go down too well in a town?

CD's on strings - well I never. Might just try it with some of dh's Pink Floyd CDs.

Re the netting - could work over the patio but wouldn't work for the climbing frame as it is too far away from the house.

You don't want to get a cat,cause your be cleaning there crap up all the the time,which really winds me up,as i don't even own a cat.I saw a programme which told you to use cd's to stop coming down on new lawn seed so maybe give it a go!!

Message withdrawn

This may sound stupid,but I once read a tip that said to cut a piece of hosepipe & leave it on the floor where you want to keep the birds away from.Apparently birds are wary of snakes & can't tell the difference between a piece of hose & the real thing & will avoid it.I've never tried this so don't know if it works though!

Or you could use toy snakes if you have any

I'm rather taken by the toy snakes and plastic eagle suggestion - appeals to my sense of bizarre! I think I might just try those and the cd trick. Thanks all

(either that or take up shooting)

but birds poopw ehen flying as well, you're never gonna stop it!!

Well I did wonder about that misdee - but was hoping that they might start taking a flying detour around my garden after hearing the jangling cds, and spotting the eagle and snake substitutes (and thereby having identified it as unsafe territory)...or am I being hopelessly optimistic