Houses and Money

[Twinsmum]

Sorry..bit of a personal subject but I'd appreciate comments. The issue of money (and lack of it) often comes up on mums net. I have some friends and relatives who have very little money because they have low paid jobs and really have no choice. I have other friends however who struggle at the end of each month because of the lifestyle they have chosen. (ie. high mortgage / expensive cars and holidays etc.)
We have a nice but small cottage and I would really like a bigger house. If we move however we would really be just about breaking even each month. (With my husband working and me working part time.)
Have others found themselves in this position? Is it worth it?
(I'm not talking about a mansion here, just something a bit bigger than we're in now. Houses here are very very expensive.)

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We've chosen to stay in our little terrace, although really it's too small, because the alternative would be to spend too large a percentage of our income each month on a bigger house in a still pleasant area, or to live in a less pleasant area. I think the area, and the fact that because the mortgage is quite low we can afford to eat out, go on trips, stay in nice hotels every now and then, are more important to the children than a bigger house. I suspect it's us parents that are more bothered about hosue size - I grew up as one of four children in a three bedroomed house and we coped fine!

Is there any way you increase your current living space without moving? Loft conversion, conservatory, extension? Do you have a garage you could convert? The cost of moving - stamp duty, solicitors' fees and estate agents' fees are ridiculous now. We are having a loft conversion after Xmas which works out far cheaper than moving.

If your cottage has no potential why no look round for somewhere that is similarly priced but with potential for an extension in the future. That way you wouldn't be committing a lot of extra cash now and you could budget for improvements of the next couple of years. I've always liked the idea of extending a small kitchen at the back with a conservatory to make a lovely dining/play area. Good Luck whatever you decide.

I'd go for quality of life every time. We did the posh house upmarket neighbourhood big salary thing for a couple of years until one day we realised we had no quality of life and no money. Everything went on the mortgage and I never saw best beloved till after 9 each night and he was gone by 530am every day. Weekends were dire. We downsized as low as we could get, but went for a good location and used every single penny extra to pay off the little bungalow we bought instead. The relief of not having to worry about finance was incredible, I dont ever want to go through that again.

We are lucky enough to be able to downsize (financially) to an only slightly smaller property through a relocation to a cheaper area ; and for the first time since the kids came, my salary is not urgently necessary to pay the mortgage (just as well as I lost my cushy family-friendly job in the move, another subject yes?).
The relief is incredible; I am definitely nicer to the kids and able to absorb their settling-in ups-and-downs(though will look for another job when they are settled so we can afford to keep a car and short breaks etc).
Reckon as long as they have somewhere safeish to feel as if they're exploring (garden or nearby) a house is big enough. I was one of 5 in a 3-bed house and spent my childhood reading under the dining room table!

I'd definitely agree with the others here - don't move unless you have yourselves covered. We were able to cash in on our poky little 70s jerrybuilt flat that by some fluke we had been able to afford in the early 90s. It is on a desirable road in a desirable part of London and we loved living there even though first-time dinner guests' faces always dropped once they were inside the coop. It was way too small for us and a baby and all our books, computer etc so we decided to move last year. The valuation meant that we could either stretch ourselves to the max and just about afford a small house nearby (although in a much less pretty road), or we could opt for a smaller mortgage, more financial leeway and buy a bigger house with a nice garden elsewhere in the borough, away from the pretty/trendy bit. After quite a lot of rowing (dh is cheerful suburbanite, I'm not) we opted for the big house/unimpressive area option and I am now so glad we did. We're not wealthy but we can still afford nursery fees, one holiday abroad a year and are covered for emergencies. We did the "eating pasta with no sauce and not daring to open the bank statement" routine when we were first together and it was a laugh in our mid-twenties. Ten years down the line with a toddler to feed/keep warm, I just could not cope. I think Rhiannon's idea about extending is an excellent one and we will probably do that rather than move in due course. However I do sympathise about being in a small place, I know just how maddening it can be. Some of these answers show just how our expectations have changed in one generation. I only really wanted to view houses with an extra downstairs loo for example, and space to put in a free-standing shower cubicle in the bathroom upstairs. Not at all like the cramped but happy home I grew up in!

Thanks everyone for all your responses. Lots of food for thought! We've already got a small loft room and there isn't really any space for an extension, but I do think all your points about quality of life are so important. A couple of years ago when i was ill with PND my husband suddenly had to have an op. Thankfully everything was ok and we're now both back at work etc. but it just goes to show how easily you can need that 'rainy day' money.

We're another move to big house/unimpressive area cheaper mortgage family. Overall, I'm glad we did it. We lived in a tiny 2-bedroom terraced house - lovely neighbours and desirable location. The imminent birth of a second child forced us out.

Like others here I'd say look at cheaper locations to see how much more space you can get for your money. Also it's worth bearing in mind that if the new area looks slightly iffy now, it may be 'going up' especially if the areas around it are getting too pricy. (Or am I too much of a sucker regarding estate agents?). Also check the schools.

A new house means a new mortgage. That could save you cash per month or enable you to top up your mortgage with long term linked loans for emergencies. (Woolwich Open Plan etc) Not perfect, but at least it could cover you.

Personally I wouldn't like to be streched to the financial limit especially whilst having to pay childminding costs. I've been there and it was a huge source of stress, I lost weight and much sleep through worry and I believe I came pretty close to a physical breakdown. When the children are bigger,the need for space may be greater, along with the reduction of child care fees. If the bigger place you want is also going to be more expensive, perhaps move then?