my mum is trying to put doubts in my mind

[TuckInYourShirt]

im moving house (i ve written 2 previous threads about it) and my mum is really trying to put me off moving. im already living 20mins away from her and the new house is about 20 to 25 mins away, it is quite a bit futher but there is a motorway and a bypass which makes no difference time wise. im virtaully living in a city centre at the moment (my post code SA1 ) and the new house is in the countryside, which is absolutly brilliant for ds, at the moment we're in a 2bed flat etc no garden busy busy busy traffic and main roads. the new 3 bed house, with front and back garden, fishing lakes, no busy roads is perfect for my ds, my dog, and rabbit.
i dont drive, but where ever im living my goal at the moment is to learn (which may be the push i need living there) but even if i dont there is a bus every hour that will take me to city centre where if i wanted to i cud then catch another bus up to my mums house (would take me about an hour all together)
im not going to be totally cut off, and i intend to go to local playgroups to meet new friends etc, but my mum is constantly saying ooo its a big mistake, and i hope you'll prove me wrong but i know you wont like it and you'll be cut off from every where/one.
where i am at the moment i dont go out as im scared of crossing the busy roads and there is absolutly nowhere to go anyways, at least in the new place there some lovely country walks which we can do as a family or when ds starts school i could do on my own with my dog.
i know my mum is looking out for me, but regardless of what she says im am going to move, i just cant stand the looks im getting off her, everytime i mention it, and i feel that if it is a mistake i wont be able to turn around to her and say it because it ll be "i told you so"
i managed to get some packing done today and she phoned to say she was popping down and i felt the dread rise in me. she kept on and on at me and then said "it feels like your doing a moonlight flit!!" (ok we are trying to move asap, viewed it last thursday, getting keys this friday!!) but she s going to end up making me feel lonely. i feel like telling her to butt out but i dont want to move on an unhappy note because then it really will put a dampner on things.

any ideas to what i can say or do i ve tried everything and im no better off.

has nobody got any advice or cheeful comments to make me feel better???? (ok i guess im getting on your nerves )

Would you mind paragraphing your post and then I can read it easier?

have to say , as a none-driver I see your mum's point on this one - if you are too scared to be a pedestrian on busy roads, then will you really feel happy driving? but hope I'm wrong and you enjoy the more rural lifestyle.

im moving house (i ve written 2 previous threads about it) and my mum is really trying to put me off moving.
im already living 20mins away from her and the new house is about 20 to 25 mins away, it is quite a bit futher but there is a motorway and a bypass which makes no difference time wise.
im virtaully living in a city centre at the moment (my post code SA1 ) and the new house is in the countryside, which is absolutly brilliant for ds, at the moment we're in a 2bed flat etc no garden busy busy busy traffic and main roads. the new 3 bed house, with front and back garden, fishing lakes, no busy roads is perfect for my ds, my dog, and rabbit.
i dont drive, but where ever im living my goal at the moment is to learn (which may be the push i need living there) but even if i dont there is a bus every hour that will take me to city centre where if i wanted to i cud then catch another bus up to my mums house (would take me about an hour all together)
im not going to be totally cut off, and i intend to go to local playgroups to meet new friends etc.

my mum is constantly saying ooo its a big mistake, and i hope you'll prove me wrong but i know you wont like it and you'll be cut off from every where/one.
where i am at the moment i dont go out as im scared of crossing the busy roads and there is absolutly nowhere to go anyways, at least in the new place there some lovely country walks which we can do as a family or when ds starts school i could do on my own with my dog.
i know my mum is looking out for me, but regardless of what she says im am going to move, i just cant stand the looks im getting off her, everytime i mention it, and i feel that if it is a mistake i wont be able to turn around to her and say it because it ll be "i told you so"
i managed to get some packing done today and she phoned to say she was popping down and i felt the dread rise in me. she kept on and on at me and then said "it feels like your doing a moonlight flit!!" (ok we are trying to move asap, viewed it last thursday, getting keys this friday!!) but she s going to end up making me feel lonely. i feel like telling her to butt out but i dont want to move on an unhappy note because then it really will put a dampner on things.

any ideas to what i can say or do i ve tried everything and im no better off.

Is this better paragraphed sorry if its hard to read.

with the busy roads in my area at the moment, there is absolutly no where to cross the only time its safe is when the comprehensive schools lollipop man comes out at 3pm all the residents have complained but instead of making it easier to cross they brought the speed limit down to 20mph there is loads of parked cars and with a LO its really hard and i find it nerve racking to cross.

I live about half an hour drive from SA1 - in the countryside and about 280 miles away from my mum!! A complete change of life, alot to get used to moving from a town very close to London to a semi rural village but the best move I've ever made!! My ds was born here and I am so happy he is growing up here and not where I used to live!! You have to have the courage to do what you feel is right.

Speak to your mum and say that you have listened to her concerns and that you have made the decision to go and that you would rather her try to support your decision as you are going anyway. Not nastily, as what I have written sounds though!!

Does she drive? An adventure on the bus to see Granny (Mamgu perhaps??!) maybe a great thing for you and your ds!!

yeah she drives and she said "i wont be able to come up to you all the time on my days off"
i thought she was a bit mean saying it, and it mad me very she lives in LLansamlet SA7 and im moving to Crynant (near severn sisters) SA10, last year we were looking to move to Leeds, so she is quite lucky, also we want to move to Canada where there is a house and job waiting for us, but we feel its a massive step if we dont like it. so all in all she should be happy for us.

Just to add, i never expect her to come up all the time and more often than not we go to her not her coming to us!!

I am wondering if your mum is trying to put you off because she will miss you and/or is worried about how you will get on in a new place?

That's where I live!!! Llansamlets not far at all - I do my big Tesco shop there!!

yeah thats exactly why she doing it!!!!!! but she cant seem to grasp that im deeply unhappy where im living right now and in all honesty i dont think i could feel worse than i am already feeling, i know it sounds silly but i feel i need to do this for me, and i feel that this can be a fresh start, and if i dont get off my backside and go to mother and baby groups etc then i ll only have myself to blame when i havent made friends etc!!! i feel confident that im making the right decision!!

im off out now for some more boxes!!! spk 2 u all in abit!! x x x x

(thanx girls, really glad im able to get advice from all of you )

lol bens mum!!!!! at least you can see what i mean distance wise!!!! i bet we probs know each other!!! i only moved out of llansamlet a year ago, now im in brynhyfryd/Hafod!!! you ll prob agree why i want to move!!!

can you get to all the things you'll need to on pubic transport just in case the driving thing doesn't work out? like shops, school, post office? if you then I would ignore her

I've got some boxes too if you want them!!

Tuck: I don't think you'd know me or me you. I've been here for about 6 years but don't know many people now I come to think of it!!

I am quite excited about you coming here!! I know I've gone completely off the op, sorry!! How old is your ds? Mine is 3.5

Compo: we have a post office, corner shop, school, hairdresser, chemist all in the village itself and a fairly good bus route to other places for bigger shops so you don't need to drive. Having said that, I drive, probably far too much!

lol, yeah. mine is 2 (well 2 in may!!!!) im stil gonna learn to drive tho lol xx

I loved learning to drive!! Good luck!! and Good luck with your move!! I hope that you will be happy here! I'm sure your mum will get used to the idea of you being away from her and be happy for you when she see's that you can cope and are happy too. As I say it's not that far away, Leeds and Canada are much further!!

im going to log on up my mums later and show her all your helpful comments etc, maybe she'll see she is being harsh!!!! maybe its not a good idea
oh my wew, im already feeling nervous i ve pick up a load of boxes from £-stretcher/instore!!!
wow i really am just rambling on now arent i!!!! im just so excited that im gonna have a house and not a flat!!! and i ll have a lovely garden for my lil boy to play play play in lol

(sorry to go on and on !!!)

I can feel your excitement for you!! As I say I have some large cardboard boxes here if you want them, I was going to freecycle them but haven't got round to it yet!! I am intrigued which house you are moving into - don't say on here though just in case!! My mil old house is up for rent and it would be such a coincidence if it turned out to be the same place!! Does it have a summer house thing at the bottom of the garden?

I hope that you can make your point to your mum about moving as she has made hers about not wanting you to go. You'll never know if it is/was the right thing to do until you've done it!!