Current and ex SAHMs: If you could only afford 2 years off work would it be worth it?

[Concordia]

Due to go back to work towards the end of the year when DCs will be 1 and 3and a bit.
Considering just working for 3 months and then stopping. We can't live on DH's salary but have a few savings and mortgage overpayments which we could fritter away gradually but would probably only manage to survive two years (I hate debt!). By then DC1 will be in school and DC2 eligible for her nursery place. But i would have lost - continuity of service in local government (i have 12 years or so at the moment), something will be worse about my pension, we will be haemorraging money etc etc. I would love to be with my kids but, is it really worth it. FWIW DC2 is likely to be the last and DC1 has really come on since i have been at home on maternity leave. Sorry for long post.

imo time at home with your dc is worth it, i'm a sahm, we live mostly off dps wages but anything big like repairs comes out of savings and it is wotrth it

What is your entitlement to parental leave - my company gives 18 weeks per child so I'm hoping to run mine consecutively along with holidays and have another 43 weeks off after my AML finishes.

Can you go part time?

Hmmm can you go very part time. I took a career break and now it's time to return they are making if almost impossible for me to go back (civil service) so I wish I had stayed on part time.

I am WOHM, and would love to be in your shoes!
IMVhumbleO, if you can make it possible for you to be at home, then do.
Nobody on their death bed has ever thought: I wish I had spent more time at work.
Trite, I know, but I think it is true.
Also, I loved having a SAHM mother; although I wish she had developed some kind of outside interest when we were older .

Do you think you would gain from it? I am a SAHM because it suits us all. I don't think it makes a fundamental difference to my child really. I think he would do just as well with a childminder as he does with me.

How do you feel about the prospect of staying at home? I am glad to have the chance to spend time with him and would rather do this than work, but it is boring, monotonous and frustrating.

Yes! Definitely! Wouldn't have missed it for the world and mine are now teenagers!You'll probably find it cheaper than you think. Good luck!

Best decision I ever made and am now looking forward to going back to work once DD has started and settled in September this year.

wow firsttimemama - that sounds great! i am allowed only 4 weeks per year parental leave so that won't help me that much.
I was working 3 and sometimes 4 days between DC1 and DC2 but since having DC2 perspective has really changed and not keen on going back. I am thinking of asking if i can drop to 2 days as alternative but if we do i think we will still need to use some money from savings (although obviously not as much).

Worth it a trazillion times over in my opinion and experience!!
It can indeed be boring, monotonous and frustrating - but the lovely bits make up for that a million times over. Plus I thought it was a privilege to know your children as intimately as you know them if you're with them 100 percent of the time.
But as MN shows, it's not for everyone!
Good luck, whatever you decide to do...

Since being on maternity leave i realise just how much time i have to spend with both my children compared even to working part time. I can stop and talk about things that DC1 mentions without having to hurry him out the door (most of the time). And he isn't exhausted from childminder where he doesn't sleep and i have time to cook real food rathe than feed them junk etc etc. Perhaps my brain is turning to mush but i do suspect it might be worht it.

My DDs are similar ages and I've just taken a 2 year career break. I'm hoping that it's short enough to not make the prospect of returning to work too frightening, but enough time to see my babies grow up. As you say, your eldest will be at school and it will only be a year or so until they are both at school.

It's such a personal decision, I think that you have to go with your gut instinct as to what feels right for you (as long as the figures add up).

of course, not implying that all WOHMs are like i was - rushing their exhausted children out the door and not cooking real food. I know you are all great! It's just me who couldn't quite manage to do both work and parenting well simultaneously!

Concordia, you have no idea how right you are... Not every day, but there are days, oh dear...
Ill children are the worst: there is the misery of the child, feeling under the weather myself because of disrupted night or similar, and then the guilt of having to get them up and out the house when really they should be spending the day on the sofa watching an endless succession of Disney DVDs...

If you're worried about how you'll cope financially, what about taking a mortgage holiday if possible?

Have to say apart from the fact I need to go back to work for financial reasons I do not regret the 5 years I've had at home with my girls, the lack of stress is worth living on a pittance, no holidays, 2nd hand clothes, ebaying everything we have etc.

Yes. It will be SO worth it. You can never get this time back with them, and even working part time (I do) means you are juggling so many balls. I had a term and a half off work altogether and LOVED it. Was happier, calmer. Rolled around on the floor and played with baby DS instead of charging back and forth to nursery. It is SO good for you and the children.

I'm having the same sort of dilemma, and also have the same amount of local government service. I am on maternity leave but work 21 hours a week when in work, and ideally I'd like to stop completely or just do 2 days. Theoretically it shouldn't be too much of a problem, but I am really enjoying being at home and I've also noticed a positive change in DS.

I guess time will tell, but at the moment I really don't want to go back. I can't help worrying about pension, though.

lowrib - we did overpay on our mortgage pre-children, so have 10 extra months saved up which we could claw back. and we could take a mortgage holiday but this may mean the mortgage term ending after DH turns 65 (the perils of marrying an older man!)
llareggub - yes it is a real dilemna. i think perhaps i should cope with 2 days a week and there will be benefits but i do feel SO much calmer being at home all the time.

I took two years off and it was lovely, and I felt quite positive about going back to work afterwards (and still do mostly, the occasional wobble!). I have the same problem re ancient dp, but you can always overpay again once you have gone back to work to bring the term back down again (I know this is assuming you can go back and make the money). It was so lovely spending time with the dds - once they're at school it's all different in any case. So I'd say go ahead.

I would do it-they grow up so quickly-if you can manage it it is worth it.

Concordia (and sticky) - there should be a (support!) thread for those with ancient DHs! (Mine is 68...)

I wouldn't give up a secure job in this financial climate. How part-time can you go? Being a SAHM has many rewards, and you won't ever get a chance to do it again. But if I had my choice, I'd work two days a week, which is what I did when my DS1 was young. Sadly the contract ended, I became pregnant very quickly and I'm still slobbing around on my computer being a perfect housewife and baking cakes with my toddler four years later.

yes, i am a bit worried about giving up a secure job. esp as DH's industry is laying off a lot of people at the mo'. But there has been a shortage of people trained to do my job for the last few years, so hopefully I could get back into work fairly quickly if i needed to. It's a weird time to be thinking of voluntarily giving up work though