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Could do with a laugh? Please come share your funniest jokes or utube clips......

9 replies

MadreInglese · 21/02/2009 13:35

I could do with a giggle to distract me from housework and coursework cheer me up, and I'm sure there are some others out there who could too.

I am crap at jokes but here is my effort:

What's the last thing to go through a fly's mind as it hits your car windscreen?
It's arse

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 21/02/2009 13:37

this

wait until the end!

ScorpiowithabigS · 21/02/2009 13:37

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Can you smell carrots?

MadreInglese · 21/02/2009 13:38

I can't believe I put a bloody apostrophe in there!

OP posts:
oregonianabroad · 21/02/2009 13:38

Just got emailed this one:

"No woman will ever be truly satisfied because no man will ever have a
chocolate penis that ejaculates money."

DrillBit · 21/02/2009 13:39

Guido the Italian Lover
A virile, middle aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, 'So, you finish?'
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, 'No.'
Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.
This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.
The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, 'You finish?'
Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, 'No.'
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely manages it, but they end together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, 'You finish?'
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blond whispers in his ear, 'No, I'm Norwegian

MadreInglese · 21/02/2009 13:40

LOL

OP posts:
DrillBit · 21/02/2009 13:41

A man is cupping his hand to drink water from a highland burn, when a gamekeeper shouts over to him

"Dinnae drink thon water, its fu o coo's piish"

The man replies,"my good fellow, I'm English, can you repeat in English for me"

To which the gamekeeper replies 'Try using both hands, you'll get more that way'

DrillBit · 21/02/2009 13:50

What Alfie should have got for Christmas

tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2rx7bpz&s=5

Flower3545 · 21/02/2009 14:09

A man comes home from work to find his best friend screwing his wife.
In a fit of jealous rage he stabs his friend to death.

His wife looks at him and says

"carry on that like that pal and you won't have any mates left"

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