What would you do if your parents asked you to get them information about Dignitas??

[mosschops30]

My mother asked me today to get her some info off the internet for my father.

Hes been suffering from Parkinsons and Lewy Bodies Disease for some years.

I cant even try and sit on the fence about it, I understand caring is hard but I dont think my mother is as caring as she could be and has made a lot of nasty comments and has sometimes made situations worse for him.

What Im trying to say is although I know he suffers greatly and feels that he is useless I cant help but feel if my mother was more supportive he may not feel as bad and may not be so open to this sort of thing.

What would you do?

If I thought it was my father, asking for himself, I would.

If I thought it was my father, asking for my mothers sake, I would be circumspect.

If I thought it was my mother, asking for my father, I would refuse.

Very difficult. I feel sad that you are in this position.

I think you need to get her the info
And talk to her properly
Honestly

I would wonder if it was a cry for help from your mum

I agree talk to your mum and explain your concerns. Offer her more support with caring for your father.

And I could be misinformed, but I understood the decision has to be very much the patient's wishes. If your father is no longer able to make that decision for himself, it can't go ahead. If he is able to rationally discuss it, then it's something the whole family need to talk and talk about - especially since it is illegal and there is the possibility of prosecution.

What support does your mother get in caring for your father?

I think you need to get her the info.

It is very difficult caring for a loved one. It can affect your relationship and make you resentful especially if the one being cared for was previously the provider/caretaker. Perhaps your mother wants to avoid that.

Talk to her about it.

I dont think Im going to get the info. I have looked at some of the stuff on the web and the website is mostly german, but everything else Ive read is negative.

I cannot offer any support as I live 200 miles away and me and my mother have no been on the best of terms for a few months now.

I think its something he's probably thought about, but I dont think she helps.

Its not something I feel comfortable with but I suppose you dont know until youve walked in someone elses shoes

caring for someone 24/7 is very hard, is there support she could get locally?

no they have too much money and he can go into a care home for respite every 6 weeks but generally refuses.

Mosschops - it must be a real struggle for both of them, and very hard for your mum.

There should be local support groups for carers that she could get support from. (Try getting onto the community care section of the local council.)

Are they in touch with charities for Parkinsons sufferers? They may be able to offer help to both your dad and mum.