Playdate Pick-up Etiquette!

[onthepier]

I'm just posting out of interest to see what other people's views are on this.

I don't drive, but a lot of my dc's friends' parents do. My dc's are often invited back to other houses after school, for tea + sometimes sleepovers. Their dc's often come back to us too, but generally their parents insist on either driving my dc's back after a playdate, + picking up their dc's from my house.

Now although I don't drive + nor does my dh, we don't rely on others + get around very easily on public transport + take a lot of taxis. Basically we use the money that people would normally spend on their car, on transport.

We don't want people to feel obliged to do all the running, so I always offer to taxi their dc's back to them, or to come + pick mine up by taxi, (or bus in the daytime). They respond as if I've suggested going to the moon + back! It's, "Oh don't be so silly, of course you're not taxiing, it's no problem at all for us to drop off/pick up!" A few weeks ago my friend actually laughed, rolled her eyes + said, "Oh, what are you like?!!"

Now I know they mean well, but does the offer of a taxi seem so silly? Surely at times it would help the other parent if they were busy themselves, (there's no financial issue with us by the way, I'm just very used to taxiing around + think nothing of it!)

The etiquette amongst our group of friends is that parents collect their child..HOWEVER this is always subject to any factor that makes it easier for one parent than another. So, for instance, if X has been to our house I will always drop him home because otherwise X's Mum has to bundle her 2 younger / toddler children out of the house to come with her.

I would not fret too much if they find it easy enough to drop your child back home and offer, and / or occasionally say 'I'll collect him at ? time' without mentioning taxis or travel arrangements at all.

The etiquette here is that the parent of the child visiting picks up. We all mostly live within easy walking distance of each other, but sometimes we might run a child back who has been for a playdate, if there was a special reason.

I guess if it's quite a distance, people would want to save you the hassle. And people with cars usually wouldn't dream of forking out for a cab (although of course it costs money to drive - you just don't notice it so much )

I agree with Blu, don't mention taxis or anything as it might be making people feel sorry for you / guilty.

Thanks for your replies, I suppose the reason I mention my travel arrangements is so that people know their/my dc's won't be made to walk a mile or so in the dark + cold!

Like I say, we're so used to buses + taxis that I never used to mention how we would get somewhere, just said we'd be there + people would assume we were walking. They'd look in horror, even if it was a short trip! (I just wouldn't take my dc's on a five mile round trip, walking, on a dark cold evening)!

I can see though from a driver's point of view, that any form of transport other than getting in your car + driving, would be considered a hassle if you're not used to it.
I suppose I do like to return favours that people have done for me.

Two of my friends don't drive + we never question how we're getting somewhere. It's, "Let's share a taxi", or "I'll be on the 11 o'clock bus, see you there!" I suppose a non-driver has a completely different way of thinking to a driver.