just saw this and thought it quite amusing and appropiate for all us Mums - sorry it's a bit long:
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have
arrived in Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United Nations does
anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know
that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For
crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find
the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the
floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for
hidden weapons of mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can
sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers
can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the
rafters.
They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can
tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a
quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell
alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can
smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother
knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an
answer to a question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a
homicide detective.
So . . . considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection
team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on electronic
equipment to scout out hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab
Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have
any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to
her. She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his
nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this,
mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across
his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the
whole of Baghdad.
He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut
every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.
Inspectors my ass ... You want the job done? Call my mother.