why don't people drive??? I am surprised at the number of mnetters who can't drive..why don't you?

[brimfull]

genuinely would like to know

I can drive, but I hate it. TBH, I'm scared. I'm not a very coordinated person and I'm scared I'm going to kill us all whenever I get behind the wheel.

So yes, Tonywhoeveryouare, I'm spineless.

And I live in London so much of the time I don't need to.

Thanks Smurfgirl

I do now but only passed my test when I was 26. The reasons it took so long were:

1. I was terrified of taking my test and failed 4 times!
2. It was expensive
3. I didn't like driving.
4. Parking a real problem where we lived (worse now)
5. Ditto getting anywhere in the car is a nightmare much of the time 'cos of traffic.
6. Hassle of car maintenance/road tax/insurance.

Since I've been driving I've noticed some other problems:

1. You get lazy. It gets so easy to get into the car instead of walking. Anywhere further away than round the corner can lead you to reaching for the car keys .
2. Stress. Driving is stressful I find unless you can do it on empty roads - the type they mysteriously find on all the car ads.
3. Even less enjoyable when you have to do it for work/shopping/school. When so is ever other bugger!

I have had loads of lessons and never really got anywhere near test standard due to nerves. I couldn't really get to grips with 3 point turns, reversing into a space etc. My mind takes a mental block and I decide I can't do it and that is that.

I do kick myself because at times it would be really handy, especially when dd is at afterschool activities and I have to haul ds out on cold, dark, wet nights. I still have a buggy despite ds being 5 as we have a bit of a trek some nights.

I have had 100's of lessons and taken the test 4 times...failed each time...

I really can't see me ever wanting to do it all again but I really hate not driving and feel trapped and feeble relying on my dh.

I have a spine. Also legs.

Tony I hope you are not serious.
Everyone is scared of something, but being overly nervous of spiders isn't likely to hurt anyone - but if someone is too nervous to drive, and they know they are, then they are doing everyone a favour by staying off the road.

Time4tea
I only just learned at 37. Well - I used to drive in Canada but the volume of traffic/different road rules etc put me off. Also the public transportation is great here.

I got a great teacher. He was so calm (he was my second teacher) and that REALLY helped. Also, I had worked on my nervousness of driving while I was doing my Hypnotherapy training, and it just sort of clicked in when I started - so that was helpful.

I think I just came to a point when it was holding me back. I have a vision in my head - of me being a confident driver. I'm not there yet, (I only passed in September) but I will be. I did my first solo trip to a big town on the motorway the other day. I was very scared, but I am glad I did it.

Good luck, take things as slow as you need to, but maybe try and fix a positive picture in your head.

Good Luck!

Dropdeadfred - I used hypnosis tapes to change my attitude to driving; I actually managed to start enjoying the lessons which was a huge breakthrough! If you hate not driving it may be worth a thought?

Don't really feel the need to drive.

Grew up in a rural area with non driving parents and we coped just fine. I now live in a city centre and the bus is quicker than any car.

As for Tony, couldn't give a fuck who you are friends with in real life. Get over yourself, there's a dear.

OOh! Touched a nerve have I?

Yes the knobhead-detecting nerve.

I'm too scared

Tony, I think the nerve touched was yours, when you read the line "idiots on the road", because you identified yourself amongst that group perhaps?

I only learned in my early thirties, left quite late because, yes, the idea of being in charge of a car frightened the shit outta me!! I finally got the kick up the arse to drive because my knobhead ex-P used to lie in bed (he got picked up at the door for work) while DS (2 at the time) and I stood at the bus-stop in all weathers to get DS to nursery, then two more buses to get me to work, followed by it all again in reverse every evening (while knobhead ex-P got dropped back off at the door )... it took a while but his selfishness was what pushed me into it.

I love driving and the sense of freedom it gives is fabulous and I realised that there was nothing at all to be scared about - so uplifting. BUT I'm now incredibly lazy and really need to walk more (hence new nickname )

Forgot to say - the car was parked outside the house all day!!!

I passed late when pregnant with dd1, then rarely drove as we live in central London and little need, plus my dh is a control freak and didn't want me behind the wheel.

So I got out of practice and now have lost my nerve - never enjoyed it anyway. Now we live near an enormous roundabout/dual carriageway and to get virtually anywhere would involve negotiating it which terrifies me.

95 per cent of the time I dont' miss or need to drive. But I'd love occasionally to be able to bundle dds in car and visit my parents (1 hr by car about 3hrs by train). So I think 2009 will be the year of refresher lessons. If anyone can recommend a good refresher teacher in W London I'd be v happy to know.

"My mind takes a mental block and I decide I can't do it and that is that"

Fimbo thats how I felt. I thought I just couldnt drive and that was that. I never even got to test standard with my first two instructors. They hypnosis book and CD really did help me to feel positiviely about it (despite the stupid title - "you can be amazing" ) - I actually enjoyed my lessons after it

I like walking and using public transport

Environmental reasons

Can't afford to run two cars

Can't afford lessons

Can't afford insurance for me to practise in MrChoc's car

Don't see the point

I am hopelessly uncoordinated and have a feeling I would be a liability!

It forces me not to be lazy and think "Oh I'll just drive" (linked to environmental reasons here)

Purple duck thanks for the advice. Like SalBySea and you I have been using the hypnotherapy route. I was fucking scared beforehand, and in the first few lessons, so really feel I've achieved something in sticking with it. Will try the visualisation thing... thanks for the good wishes

T4T

T4T, have you been using a cd, or going to an actual hypnotherapist?

Just asking as it took quite awhile to chip away at all my fear - so keep at it!

This is the product I used, really recommend it. It's very common sense but said things I had never thought of before, eg lots of people who fail have never actually imagined themselves passing.

I've been using a CD - a hypnotherapist would bankrupt me entirely on top of lessons. Kathy, might give your chap a whirl. I like the idea of a book (am the sort of person who sorts out most things in life after reading a book)
thanks for tip

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