Would you be happy to let a son or daughter of yours join the armed forces?

[tigermoth]

My dh joined the navy when he was 16 partly as the result of an ultimatum issued by his father.

My son is 8 years. I just cannot imagine letting him join the navy in another 8 years time, even if he wanted to. And seeing pictures today of 18 year olds in chemical warfare gear... boys just 10 years older that my son. My husband says it's policy to put the youngsters in least danger, but I'm sure that's not much comfort to their parents.

If my son wanted to join the forces when he leaves school, I think I'd do all in my power to dissuade him. I just cannot get my head round the idea that you create a life, that child grows and then goes on to be trained in how to kill others. Is that naive of me? Would you encourage your son or daughter if they wanted to join the forces?

My eldest daughter who is 18 joined the Army over a year ago.To be truthful I thought she would not last as she would never get up out of her pit let alone keep it clean.But she has a very good career and loves her job very much.She will be going to Iraq shortly and she does not mind because as she says it is her job.I am devastated at the thought but what can I do? I have taught her since she was tiny to be independant.I am so proud of her and all the other soldiers.I wish them all to come home safe.

Good luck to your daughter, doormat.

Honestly, though - don't you wish she'd done something else?

i have pushed this as a viable option to my sons ( sexist i know!!) as they are not academically brilliant to say the least and i thought being in the armed forces would give them discipline and an opertunity for further education. however both sons are not interested but i would be proud of them if they decided to join up - but i want them to oin the RAF or NAVY - its a snobbery thing!

An ex boyfriend of mine joined the territorials 12 years ago. At the time, being full of feminist fervour I told him if he joined I would leave him as he was joining a patriarcial killing machine. But he was in a rut. He had graduated several years earlier and still didn't have a job. If I'm honest, it was good for him. He picked himself up, regained his self esteem and managed to get a job. I did, however, stick to my guns and leave him. 12 years later on, he's still in the cut lunch commandos and is due to go out to the gulf in a month. I'm appalled. He could have left the TA anytime in the last 10 years, but he thought the benefits outweighed the risks. My heart goes out to all of you with family in the services. I am suffering agonies at my friend being sent there, it must be hell for you.

slug, cut lunch commandos????

DH and I have talked about this in the past and have identified the Armed Forces as one career we hope DD or DS don't choose. Mind you, we also hope they don't follow us into the City either. I wouldn't actively dissuade them from any career though.

Thanx janh for wishing my daughter well.

I pray to God that my precious DS does not have any military tendencies. I depise war and all it stands for and without wanting to sound completley mad, I think I would have to lock him in a room until the blasted thing was over.
It would be a different tale today if Tony Blair and George Bush actually had to fight themselves or their children. It's ok telling others to go and risk their lives but TB & GB are as safe as houses whilst other folks kids are killing and being killed.
My baby is staying home with me wether he's 2 or 22.
I could not begin to express the resentment I feel towards what is going on in the middle east, I am sickend, comlpelty sickend.

Tigermoth, my simple answer is no I would not encourage my children to join the forces.

Tigermoth, I guess I would be pretty gutted at their decision but would like to think that I would have the courage not to try and stand in their way if thats what they really wanted. I think a lot would depend on why they wanted to join the forces: if they saw it as a glamorous option or a power kick, I guess I would try to dissuade them but if they had weighed up all the options and were still keen, I suppose I would have to swallow my fears for their safety and try to support them as much as I could.

I would be delighted if my DS became a builder and my DD had a stress free job and quality of life doing something she really enjoyed rather than some high paid job chasing her tail then wondering where her life went ...... I would not encourage the forces war or no war.

janh: Cut lunch commandos, weekend warriors, SAS (Saturdays and Sundays) Can't let the boys think we take their little games seriously!

Interestingly, I asked my dh last night if he object if any of our children chose a career in the forces. He said, on the contrary, he would be proud. I had asked our eldest ds (7) earlier in the day whether he would ever want to be a soldier as he had spent the afternoon playing Action Man and making guns out of Knex. He said definitely not because he "didn't want a job killing people"

Enchanted

It's lucky that not everyone shares your views - what do you think our country would be without a profesisonal army - although i keep hearing the view that WW11 was won by conscripts - having a professionally trained force to deal with peacekeeping issues and help out throught the world with humantiarian assistance is invaluable. Views like yours make me so angry!

You obviously have no idea how dangerous and evil some dictators are - do you really this our country would be safe without a deterrent. Please enter the real world. What would you suggest we do about them without any credible force to back up our requests. Also how would you propose that we could defend ourselves against attack. You should be glad men and women are willing to enter the vocation (and yes I understand the meaning of it) that is the armed forces.

I'd not try to dissuade them as such but I'd make sure they knew exactly what they were doing. If I was sure they'd taken everything into consideration and had thought long and hard about the risks involved then I'd back them all the way. I'd worry about them every minute but then I'd worry about them anyway.

My eldest brother is out in Kuwait with the RAF at the moment (ground crew for the squadron who lost the Tornado to "friendly fire" and he's been in the RAF for 23 years (since 17). He fully understands what it is all about and when our dad has expressed his worries he simply shrugs says that it's his job. I'm proud of him but I worry a lot too. Someone has to do these jobs and those someones are precious to other people for many reasons. I can't watch the war coverage any more because I keep thinking (yes, even of the Iraqi soldiers) "that's someone's precious child/brother/sister/parent". I think it's to do with being a mother.

Um, that wink was meant to be a bracket!

Cyber Hug to you and your family Soupdragon. Dh is out there with the RAF. I want it all to be over with asap. I hope that your brother is safe.

Same to you HMB.

Hugs,
J

Seahorse,
Talking of dictators!
The question I answered was about how I would feel about MY CHILD joining the armed forces and I gave my heart felt response.
I didn't make any comment about the army or the people who serve in it, my anger was aimed towards GB & TB. IMO this war is immoral and illegal and judging by the anti-war campaign I am not alone in my veiws. Just because I am against war does not mean that I have no idea about evil dictatorships, I just don't think war was the right way forward.
Why am I explaining myself?
Let me remind you that this is a forum for mother's to air their personal opinions and I am entitled to mine. Or as an army 'officers' wife do you feel you can tell me off because my views differ from yours, there's a comedy sketch in there somewhere.
You are obviously fine with this war and would be happy, even PROUD (get me a bucket) for your loved ones to go on a gun wielding misson with the intention of 'wiping them out' I am not.
Re - read my posting and have the humility to appreciate we are all entitled to our opinion. I bet you have been sitting at your computer just waiting for someone to attack (pardon the pun) so you can bang your sanctamonious drum. Your opinions are ridiculous and outdated but they are yours, I suggest you air them on a more appropriate forum.

enchanted

This is getting way too personal - so I'll leave it now - I agree this isn't the forum to have a heated argument.

Seahorse,
An apology would have been more fitting! However I wasn't expecting one.

Enchanted,

I am also the wife of a serving member of the forces, and I have reservation about the war. However, My husband is not some sort of gun toteing pychopath, if you look at the war thread you will see what people (including me)feel about this. You will also learn that it is possible to have a polite and reasoned argument, without resort to bully techniques, or abuse. Had you answered me in the way you did Seahorse, it would be a cold day in hell before I would appologise. You are entitled to your views, and so are other people. It might be a good idea to learn that

hmb,
So you too did not read my oringinal post but still feel in a position to comment.
I did not cast any judgment whatsoever on the people serving in the war (I pray they return home safely) but on Tony Blair and George Bush. If you take my comments about TB & GB personally well thats your problem. It seems to me that there is a real resorting to type here!
Another comedy sketch!
I niether bullied or abused but I am right at this moment feeling just that.

hmb,
So you too did not read my oringinal post but still feel in a position to comment.
I did not cast any judgment whatsoever on the people serving in the war (I pray they return home safely) but on Tony Blair and George Bush. If you take my comments about TB & GB personally well thats your problem. It seems to me that there is a real resorting to type here!
Another comedy sketch!
I niether bullied or abused but I am right at this moment feeling just that.

Enchanted, I@ve read your original post, with which I have no problems at all - they are your opinions, your views and you are entitled to them. The response to Seahorse (and I don't agree with everything she said or how she said it either but she's bowed out) is what I find offensive, particularly the sentence "You are obviously fine with this war and would be happy, even PROUD (get me a bucket) for your loved ones to go on a gun wielding misson with the intention of 'wiping them out' I am not"

My brother, like HMBs DH, is no gun toting psychopath. He's a much loved brother, a cherished son, husband and father and as soft as they come. I do not believe in this war either but it IS happening and I back my brother 100% to do his job and I am proud that he is prepared to put his life on the line in however small a capacity. That is not the same as being proud that he's going on a gun wielding rampage through the Middle East.

I would rather he and all those other family members on ALL sides did not have to do this. There is never a right time for war.

And I don't see a comedy sketch in any of this.